


Every kind of way

by Halos_Boat



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Car Sex, Drunk Sex, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Rimming, Smut, kind of, not related to the car sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:35:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 68,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29972628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halos_Boat/pseuds/Halos_Boat
Summary: "This shouldn't have happened so many times..." Louis trails off, dropping his head into his hands.He hears Harry shuffle across the mattress until he's behind Louis, forehead meeting Louis' back as he let's out a heavy exhale, his warm breath causing goosebumps to form down his spine."He's my best friend," Louis continues, "and you're his ex.""I know," Harry says quietly."Why can't I resist you?" Louis whispers, squeezing his eyes shut."For the same reason I can't resist you," Harry says, voice rough and throaty.The kind-of friends with benefits AU where Harry lands up in the same group of friends as Louis after Louis' best friend dates Harry for a year. The first time they hook up, they agree it won't happen again. But when they do it again and decide on a casual arrangement, feelings start to get involved, and things get complicated.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson/Original Female Character(s), Zayn Malik/Harry Styles, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Comments: 47
Kudos: 225





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was based on a fake fic title I recieved on Tumblr but I've changed the name haha. I just wanted something shorter.
> 
> Anyways, there is Zarry in this fic (admittedly very weird to write romantically) and it is prominent in the beginning and obviously mentioned throughout the fic still, So are Louis' relationships with other people. Not as prominent but it's still there and described and talked about.
> 
> So, if that's not your thing, I don't think you'd like this. It is still a Larry fic which means Larry endgame as always. Anyways, yeah the themes dealt with in this fic are... Controversial I suppose so read with caution, once again. 
> 
> And a big thank you to B(fournipplesau) for being an amazing beta! I really appreciate it :) 
> 
> Side note: there's no cheating in this fic. Between Harry and Louis or otherwise. I did tag drunk sex but be warned that their is a scene where they're drunk and have sex so if that's not okay/not your thing you can skip through or not read it altogether! :)

Louis waits for Niall to close the door of the flat before he pounces on Harry, knocking him back on the sofa, lips meeting feverishly, tongues dancing and hands roaming around each other's bodies. 

He's not long past the feeling of guilt for doing this. He still feels it but he can't seem to stop because he loves him, God dammit. He loves him more than words can explain. And he never planned on loving him, it just happened. And now they've said it to each other, and the feeling is mutual, they've discussed it. 

It's been months and Louis doesn't know how it's even possible, how they've come here so quickly and effortlessly. He doesn't understand how and why it had to happen like this either, because the guilt is still there. He's just accepted it now. 

Zayn and Harry broke up over a year ago though, and they're friends; they've come to a truce and they're okay now. Zayn would have to understand. He'd have to. 

Right? 

"Louis," Harry moans, voice high and legs hitched around Louis' waist. 

"Harry," he moans back, rutting his hips into Harry's thick thigh. 

They fall into a fire of passion and lust and love, and by the end of it Louis always feels a sobering phase. 

Yes, he's pushed away the guilt for the most part, but it doesn't mean it doesn't creep in every now and then. He knows when it happens to Harry too. 

When they'd first hooked up, Louis vowed he'd never let it happen again. He told Harry that much and Harry was quick to agree as well. But it was only a matter of time before they'd ended up in each other's beds again. 

It was somehow easier, back then, to convince himself it was temporary for both of them and just a passing by arrangement until they'd both find other people. 

But there hadn't been other people. They were exclusive without even saying so because deep down, they'd already known that they were in love with each other. 

Now, they'd told each other that they felt the same way. He'd been with other people before Harry, but none of them felt like this. 

They'd felt right. And the realization scared them. It took a while to navigate their feelings in a way that could make sense. Louis is still confused and bothered, but all that makes sense is Harry, and that's all he needs right now. 

Now, they'd gotten to the point where they'd realized they love each other but they didn't know how to deal with it properly and come clean to Zayn and their friends, too afraid of what it'll do to their friendships, especially with Zayn. 

Zayn is his best friend for God's sake and no good best friend sleeps with their said best friend's ex. Not just sleep with them, no. It was worse for Louis because he fell in love with his best friend's ex. 

**_Then_ **

When Louis first lays his eyes on him, he can't look away. He notices his eyes first; pale, light green that stood out even in the ugly pub lighting. And then his smile; all wide and toothy, his two front ones sticking out even more, and deep dimples denting his cheeks. He can't explain the thump of his heartbeat that rushes to his ears almost instantly, or the fact that his palms went clammy against the beer glass.

The moment is cracked when Zayn, Louis' best friend, speaks. Only then does Louis notice that Zayn has his arm around Harry's waist. He blinks out of his thoughts, focusing on what Zayn is saying.

"This is Harry, the guy I've been seeing," is what Louis is on time zoning back in to hear.

Louis feels disappointment settle in his stomach. Of course that's Harry. Zayn has been going on about the bloke for the past month. Louis should have known as soon as he saw him. Zayn always spoke about Harry's dimpled smile and green eyes with a dreamy look on his face. He should have known. 

"Nice to meet all of you. Zayn talks about you lot a lot," he chuckles nervously, "hope you don't mind me popping in to say hi." 

"No at all. In fact, if you're free now you could join us for drinks?" Liam offered. 

"Oh, uh," Harry looks at Zayn who shrugs, "Um, okay, but not for too long." 

"Ah, cheers, mate. So tell us a little more about yourself, then." Niall says, leaning forward slightly, eager to hear his story. 

"Okay," he says, sitting down on the chair Zayn pulls in for him, "what do you wanna know?" 

"What do you do? Zayn mentioned something about kids?" Niall asks, unsure. 

Harry nods, smiling. Zayn places his arm over the back of his chair. "I teach pre-schoolers. Not too far away from here, actually. It's cool that you guys live right above a pub."

"Yeah, Louis and I couldn't turn it down as soon as we found out. Signed the lease papers, like, immediately," Zayn says, smiling at Louis. 

Louis, who'd been hyperfocused on Harry, blinks again and smiles back. "Yeah, fresh out of uni. Not exactly the smartest decision but we managed."

Harry turns his attention solely on Louis and grins. "I hear a lot about you two being in uni together and the shit you two pulled."

Louis smiles fondly at Zayn. "What do you mean,  _ used to _ ?" he laughs. 

Zayn slaps his arm playfully. "Nowhere near as crazy as we were in uni."

"Didn't you two go for a party not too long ago and somehow landed up in Sheffield with a goat in your bed?" Liam asks, raising an eyebrow at them. 

"Liam, that was months ago," Zayn says, teeth slightly gritted, laughing nervously, "promise we're not always like that." he says to Harry. 

Harry touches his cheek delicately, smiling softly. Louis watches carefully. "Doesn't matter to me, love. Sounds exciting anyways. Where did the goat come from?" he asks, laughing. 

"Well, we woke up in an old lady's attic. Turns out she was the owner of some diner we'd gone to and realized we weren't in a good state to go home so she let us sleep there. The goat is her pet, apparently." Louis explains. 

Harry's eyes sparkle with mirth."Is that even legal?" 

"Don't know, but I'm glad I had Louis by my side, honestly. Would have freaked out if I didn't," he says, reaching to pat his back. 

Louis nods. "Same here,"

"Ride or die, bud," Zayn holds out his fist. Louis bumps it with his own and raises his glass to that. 

Yup. Ride or die. It had been like that for years now. Ten, in fact. They'd met on the first day of uni since they'd be bunking together, and ever since then they'd been inseparable. Louis can't tell you the amount of times they'd stayed in their dorm room getting high together and skipping lectures. 

Lord knows how either of them passed uni. 

They'd talked about moving in together since forever though, so as soon as they'd finished, they started looking for places and by chance, found one right above a pub. It made things really convenient most of the time, if you catch Louis' drift. 

"That's sweet. I don't think I've stayed friends with most of my uni mates," Harry says, "how did the rest of you meet then?"

See, this is where it gets a little awkward, because technically, Liam joined the gang after he and Zayn hooked up. Louis woke up one morning to a nearly naked Liam in his kitchen and ever since then, they'd gotten along well. 

Things weren't awkward between him and Zayn either, surprisingly, and soon he'd started to join in on their pub nights, their game nights, and most nights in general. It was five years ago but maybe it wouldn't be wise to bring that up to someone Zayn has been seeing for a few weeks now. A month, was it? 

"Well, I forced my way in," Niall speaks up, "came here, got drunk, found them, and made sure I became friends with them."

"Yeah, Niall took our numbers and messaged us the next day to say he was coming over with food. Louis and I were confused as hell but then he brought pizza over and started talking and really meant no harm so we figured, why the hell not?" 

Harry laughs, like the story is ridiculous - and it is, honestly. But Niall is also one of the first people they'd made friends with after moving here. 

"So you were already there, Liam, is it?" Harry asks. 

Liam nods, cheeks a little pink. He opens his mouth to reply but Zayn does instead. "He met Louis first and became friends with him and then Louis introduced us to him. Right, Louis?" 

Louis clears his throat and nods, playing along. He's sure Zayn will tell him eventually, if they last that long. Though, knowing Zayn, they probably won't last too long. 

It's not that Zayn is a slag or anything. He just doesn't find himself committing to anyone for too long and there's nothing wrong with that, really. Louis too doesn't find himself being in relationships that last longer than, six months, maybe? And he doesn't get into relationships too often. 

His last relationship was almost a year ago with a girl named Rebecca. She was nice and everything, but there was no spark there that could mean their relationship would last long. So they broke up but she didn't seem too bothered by it, luckily. 

Since then, there had been a hookup or two but nothing drastic. Same went for Zayn. So Louis is surprised he'd wanted to go out with Harry because last he'd heard, Zayn was happy staying single for a while. 

"So you and Zayn met in a club then?" Niall asks. 

Harry's cheeks turn pink. "Um, yeah. He was there for some work thing and I was there with a friend. One thing led to another and... Uh, here we are, I guess?" 

Louis already knew this. Zayn came home the next morning with a huge grin on his face but he didn't say anything about Harry until a few days later, when they'd gone out for their second date.

Since then, Louis has heard about Harry's green eyes and gorgeous smile. He should have recognised him sooner, honestly. And he also shouldn't be so attracted to Harry. But oh well, now that he knows this is Zayn's Harry, that would go away soon enough. 

____

After that Harry becomes part of their almost daily pub nights. He's normally attached to Zayn's side, holding each other in some way. It's... Odd. For one, Louis hasn't seen Zayn look so smitten with anyone else before. Two, he's also never been like this with anyone else. He's introduced two other boyfriends to the group but none of them came back, really. But with Harry, Zayn is just... All over him all of the time and vice versa. 

Even Liam and Niall notice it. 

"They're really into each other, aren't they?" Niall asks one day, all three of them looking at Zayn and Harry who are sitting at the bar, Zayn's hand on his waist and Harry's playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. 

"Yeah, never seen him like this before," Liam agrees. 

Louis takes a sip of his whiskey and hums in agreement. Something still doesn't sit right with Louis. He still thinks Harry is attractive but there's... Something else. He doesn't dwell on it though because his best friend seems really happy. 

"Good for him," Niall says, "seems madly in love, honestly."

Louis frowns at that. That's what it is. They're in love. Huh. That's highly possible. He's never seen Zayn like this before, so if could be. 

"Yeah, and what's it been now, two months? I have a feeling they're going to last a while." Liam adds. 

"That's great. I like Harry." Niall says happily. 

"Yeah, he's nice." Louis comments, afraid that he hasn't said anything in too long. 

"Anyways, I'm getting another drink." Niall says, getting up. 

Louis watches them still as Liam and Niall go into another conversation, and he can safely say his best friend really has never been so smitten with someone else. He's laughing at something Harry said, nose scrunched up and eyes crinkled. Man, he's whipped. 

He sighs. He's happy for Zayn. It's only been a few months but it seems like they're heading down a good path, and Harry will be part of their little group for some time. Louis doesn't think he'd mind that, really. 

____

Louis is left alone with Harry for the first time since Zayn came by with him at the pub one night. Harry sits opposite him, passing him a kind smile.

Louis returns one back, unsure of what else to say. 

"This song is great," Harry comments, tapping his fingers on the mahogany wood to the beat of the music. 

Louis hums in agreement. "Fleetwood fan then?" 

"Always," he says, "and you?" 

"Yeah, they're good. More of an Amy Winehouse fan than Stevie Nicks, honestly." he says. 

"Oh, yeah. Fair enough. You know, Zayn and I have fairly different music tastes," he says thoughtfully, "but he is introducing me to things I never thought I'd like before, which is great."

"Yes, he loves his old school RnB," Louis says, not surprised he'd try to get Harry to listen to it, "we grew up too white, you and me." 

Harry barks out a laugh, clapping his hand over his mouth. "I think you're right," he giggles, "Zayn said that to me once before."

"He's not wrong," Louis laughs, "he got me into Aaliyah hardcore and that's something I wasn't exposed to as a kid whereas he was. I think you just have to be opened to listening to other things."

"That's true. I noticed he really likes her," Harry says. 

"Yeah, he really likes you too," Louis can't help but add. 

Harry's cheeks turn red, a growing smile on his face. "Really?" 

"Well, he has been dating you for, like, two months now, hasn't he? I would hope he likes you," Louis jokes. 

Harry huffs out a laugh, rolling his eyes. "Oh come on," he reaches over, smacking Louis' arm lightly, "you know what I mean." 

"Yes I do," he gives in, "and yes, he seems to really like you... I hope he doesn't screw it up."

"Only him? I thought I'm supposed to be getting the 'if you ever hurt my best friend' speech," he chuckles. 

"Oh, well, I was getting to that. But he can be an arse sometimes." 

Harry laughs again, his dimples deeper than the Atlantic. Louis blinks. "But you seem good for him, Harry. I hope he keeps you."

"Thanks, I guess?" Harry snorts. "So do I get the ultimate stamp of approval then?" he asks with a short laugh. 

Oh he had no idea. 

"Sure," Louis plays it off with a coy smirk, "just don't hurt my best friend."

Harry's replying smile is playful, laughing softly. Louis likes to make him laugh, he realizes. Or smile. Both are good.

He can't -- shouldn't -- be having those thoughts, truthfully. Harry is just very attractive. 

"Hey, babe," Zayn says, walking up to their booth, clearly talking to Harry with a soft smile on his face. 

"Hey, darling," Louis replies with a playful smile. 

Zayn rolls his eyes, sitting in next to Harry and kissing his cheek. "Hello, to you too, babe," he says. 

Louis laughs. 

"What were you two talking about?" Zayn asks, letting out a sigh. 

"How smelly your feet are," Louis says, "and how loudly you snore."

Harry snorts. "And how much you drool. Get your spit everywhere." 

"Oh really?" Zayn raises an eyebrow at him. "I seem to recall you liking my spit everywhere..." 

Harry blushes, Louis clears his throat. "Okay, that's my queue to get another drink," he says, pushing himself out of the booth. He can hear them giggling to each other. Louis smiles, shaking his head. He's glad to see Zayn this happy and Harry is great, really. He deserves someone like him. 

_____

A few weeks later, Louis is sitting at their small dining table with a cup of coffee in his hand, minding his own business when Harry comes out of the shower. 

He heard the shower running so he knew it was Harry. Zayn told him that he was still here when he left in the morning; that he was probably in the bathroom. So it doesn't surprise Louis that he's here. 

But it does take him by surprise when Harry comes out, towel loosely held over his hips, one hand ruffling his hair. The towel slips a little which makes him adjust it, dropping it a bit as he walks. 

Louis widens his eyes, certain that he's seen a bit too much. He clears his throat before Harry drops it any further. 

Harry squeals, taking a step back, behind their couch and facing Louis, chest rising and falling rapidly. 

"Hi," Louis greets, amused, sipping some of his coffee. 

"Hi," Harry squeaks, now tightening the towel around his waist. 

"Coffee?" Louis asks casually, just because he'd rather not have it be awkward. It's not like he saw anything, really. 

Harry's cheeks turn red. "Yeah, I, uh. I should go into the room and get some clothes on," he says, averting his gaze to the floor. 

Louis chuckles. "Okay, you do that."

"Zayn left, right?" Harry asks, as he steps closer to Zayn's room. 

Louis nods. "Emergency at work," he explains. 

"Okay, I'll, um, yeah," he points to the room with his thumb, turning around quickly and going inside, the door shutting behind him. 

Louis laughs to himself, shaking his head. He kind of knew he'd run into Harry today because Zayn said he's still here, he just didn't realize it'd be as Harry ran out of the shower. 

And if Harry was hot with clothes on, without is a whole other thing. At least, his top half and toned calves. And a glimpse of more that Louis doesn't think counts, really. 

Louis puts more coffee on to brew, sitting back on the chair and reading the news on his iPad when Harry comes out, hair still slightly wet, this time with clothes on. 

"What?" Harry asks, realizing Louis is staring. 

"Nothing, that's um-- that's my shirt," he says, clearing his throat. 

"Oh," he looks down, frowning. It's hopelessly endearing. "I can go change it if you--" 

"No, no, it's okay. It's not a big deal. Zayn and I share clothes all the time. I don't know when I've last seen that one," he laughs, playing it off nonchalantly. 

It's a lie. He wore it only three days ago. It must have gotten mixed in with Zayn's half of the laundry. But it looks good on Harry;though that is a weird thought to have about your best friend's boyfriend... 

"You like The Bulls?" Harry asks curiously, going past Louis and to the kitchen, helping himself to some coffee. 

"Honestly? No. I don't even know what sport they belong to. Just liked the shirt," Louis says. 

Harry chuckles, dimples denting his cheeks. "Fair enough," he says, walking to the table where Louis is sitting and takes a seat adjacent to him. "When I was younger, I used to buy all those trendy band shirts even though I didn't even know half of them. I mean, to this day I can't tell you more than one Guns 'n Roses song."

Louis smiles. It's not hard to see why Zayn is so crazy about this boy, even if Louis has only known him for a month. "That's… Well, I was going to say that's sad but I guess I've gone and done the same thing. So who am I to judge?" 

Harry grins again, placing his mug on the table and running a hand through his hair. "Gets too curly after I shower," he comments, "too bushy, really."

"Really?" Louis asks, spotting some of the ringlets drying already, the colour returning to a softer brown. 

"Yeah, I normally blow dry it so that it doesn't do that. But I need to have a haircut again anyways. So there's no use trying to tame it right now." he huffs, bringing his coffee up to his lips and taking a sip. 

"It looks good," Louis shrugs. 

"Thanks," he says, touching his hair again briefly, "oh, uh, sorry about that earlier, by the way. I didn't realize you'd be here."

"What? When you almost flashed me?" Louis chuckles. 

Harry laughs, cheeks red. "Yeah, I'm-- wow, that's embarrassing."

"No, don't worry about it. I barely saw anything," he says honestly, "and I didn't tell Zayn I'd be at home today anyways."

"Oh," he says, "um, why are you at home, if you don't mind me asking?" 

"Oh, I quit my job at the firm. Zayn didn't mention it? I was supposed to be looking for another job." 

Harry shakes his head, eyebrows pinched together. "You worked at an architecture firm, yeah?" 

"Yeah, but my boss just sucked. I couldn't do it anymore," Louis huffs, "so now here I am, thirty-one and unemployed."

"Hey, that's okay. You don't deserve to have a shit boss, and I'm sure you'll find something soon," he says assuringly, "and God knows I had to deal with my fair share of shitty bosses too."

"Oh yeah? Don't you teach little kids?" 

"Yeah, but the principal at the other school was a total perv, checking me out all the time," he grimaces, swallowing down more coffee, "and some of the parents I deal with now are shits."

Louis barks out a laugh. "They must be really shit for  _ you _ to say something like that." 

"What does that mean?" he asks, a curious smile on his face. 

"Nothing, just... You're like the nicest person I've met," he shrugs, "nicer than Liam, and that says a lot."

Harry chuckles softly. "Thanks, I guess. So tell me, why did your boss suck so much?" 

Louis sighs in exasperation and downs his last bit of coffee. "He just shat all over my ideas all the time and undermined me because of my position in the company." 

Harry frowns again. "I'm sorry," he winces. 

"Not your fault," Louis waves him off, "besides, I've always wanted to start my own architecture firm... Maybe I could do that now."

"That would be great. You can totally do that. And hey, Zayn works with finances, maybe he could help you out there?" 

Louis nods, smiling at his enthusiasm. "Yeah, I've been dreaming about this since I started studying, you know? I think it's about time I get there now." 

"That's great. I actually don't have a degree in teaching," Harry admits, "I have a degree in art history."

"Art nerd?" he asks, impressed. "Why teach then?" 

Harry shrugs. "I don't know, actually. It was the first job that I got accepted for after uni, and so I took it and never really looked back." He looks down, seemingly a little upset about the revelation.

"Well, I guess there's always time if you want to ever change that, right?" 

"Yeah," he says quietly, "but anyways, I do love working with kids."

"Yeah? Want some of your own some day?" Louis asks. 

Harry nods excitedly. "Yeah, I've always dreamed of having a big family." 

Louis doesn't think Harry and Zayn have gotten to the family, marriage, and kids conversation of their relationship yet because Zayn is not a  _ kids _ person at all, and while he's opened to getting married, he doesn't plan to any time soon. 

Louis purses his lips into a smile. "That's great. I want kids too. I have loads of siblings so I think it made me want to have a full house whenever I get married."

"Oh, that's amazing!" Harry grins widely. "You know, when I was younger I used to do future scrapbooks of what my life is going to look like."

"Future scrapbooks?" Louis asks, raising a brow at him. 

"Yeah, so you know how you make scrapbooks for things that you have happened to keep, like the memories alive or whatever?" 

"Yeah?" Louis searches his eyes curiously. Maybe, alSo just because they're a very nice pair of green eyes. 

"So I made one, but for what my future will look like," he says, "so I had, like, things I'd love to have for my wedding, the house I wanted to live in, even down to the flowers I wanted to plant in my garden." 

That's... That's kind of sweet. "Okay, then I have a very important question."

"Yeah?" 

"What kind of flowers did you have in your garden?" 

Harry laughs softly. "Loads of different kinds but mostly peonies and daisies. Different shades of peach and pink." 

"Wow," Louis says, kind of in awe, "do you still have the scrapbook?" 

Harry nods. "Yeah, it's at my flat somewhere in a box," he snorts. "Hey, I know this might be a bit too, um, inappropriate, but do you know if Zayn is the same? Like is he the type to dream about his future wedding and dream house?" 

Louis inhales sharply. "Um, I think you should ask him," he says as gently as possible, "just-- we haven't spoken about it in a while So yeah. Might be better if you ask him."

"You're right. I'm sorry," he shakes his head.

"No, it's all right," Louis says, tone reassuring, "really, it's fine."

"Okay," Harry says, finishing off his coffee. "Hey, did you have anything to eat yet?" 

"Um, no," Louis scratches his neck, "was just gonna get myself some cereal to be honest."

"Well, how do you feel about pancakes?" Harry asks. 

Louis has seen and heard about Harry's pancakes. He has yet to taste them, though. Even though they've been dating for a while, they are normally at Harry's place because he doesn't have a roommate so it's easier to be... Together. 

But Harry has been coming here more often than not recently, so maybe things are changing for some reason. 

"So you aren't at work either today?" Louis only just realizes. It's Friday. It's early, but it's still a work day. 

"No, there's been a measles outbreak at school," Harry explains, taking out the flour from the top cabinet so casually like he's done it dozens of times before. 

Which he supposes is true. 

"Measles? Geez," he grimaces, "I had it when I was in elementary. It sucked."

"Me too. I thought I was dying," Harry laughs, mixing the ingredients in a bowl that Louis didn't even know they had. 

Louis laughs. "Because of the itching?" 

Harry chuckles again. "Yes, I was only nine, to be fair." 

"Jesus," Louis snorts, "I'm very curious to know how you were as a child."

"Oh, you don't want to," Harry shakes his head, "I was very weird."

"Weird is good," Louis shrugs. 

Harry gives him a warm smile, getting back to his mixing. 

"Do you want chocolate chips in them?" he asks. 

Louis nods excitedly. Chocolate chip pancakes-- God, Zayn is lucky. No wonder why he's so crazy about him. 

Harry ends up spending the whole day with Louis. They end up having their pancakes and talking about other shit about themselves. 

Louis learns that Harry's a bit of a neat freak, which explains why Zayn's room has been so clean lately. Louis admits that he and Zayn aren't the neatest, but Zayn is worse. 

Harry says he realizes Zayn is a little messy, but he doesn't mind it. Louis discovers that they have a lot in common, especially regarding their views and beliefs in general. They're different in some ways too, which is actually nice. 

Louis admits that he hasn't seen a single episode of The Great British Bake Off and Harry looks scandalized, insisting they watch an episode together. So after pancakes and a bag of crisps, they do end up doing just that. There's a respectable amount of distance between them, of course, because this is his best friend's boyfriend after all. But he's also Harry; this really cool, genuine, kind, funny guy. At first, Louis found him physically attractive but now, it's not hard to understand why Zayn is so smitten with him. 

It's a slightly messed up thought to have but Louis would be smitten with him too. There's a lot to like about him, is all he's saying. 

By the time Zayn comes back the flat is dark because they haven't switched on any lights, and both prefer watching the TV in complete darkness. It takes him by surprise though.

He looks at them on the couch then around the flat. "Uh, why is it dark in here?" he asks, then proceeds to switch the light on. 

Louis pouts and Harry gets up, walking to Zayn, placing a kiss on his lips. 

"Wanted to watch The Great British Bake Off so we figured it'd be better in the dark," Harry explains, Zayn still leaning in to place short kisses to his lips, both of them grinning. 

Louis grimaces. God, they're disgusting. 

"Can't believe you got him to watch that shit. He hates cooking shows," Zayn says, looking at Louis this time. 

"This is baking, Zayn. There's a difference," Louis says, popping a crisp into his mouth. 

Harry laughs. "Well, did you like it?" 

Louis nods regrettably. "Kind of? I don't know what it is about this but it's addictive." 

"Well, then, next time we watch Masterchef Australia, you're doing it with us," Zayn says, giving him a pointed look. 

"You don't like that?" Harry asks, almost gasping. 

Louis rolls his eyes, groaning. "God, you're made for each other."

They both laugh. Harry asks Zayn how work was and Zayn explains something to do with one of his co-worker's projects before Harry goes to the bathroom. 

Zayn places his briefcase down onto one of the chairs and joins Louis on the couch. He digs into the bag of crisps too. "So get along with him then?" 

Louis nods. "He's great, yeah. I see why you like him."

"I'm glad," he smiles softly, "it's only been a few months but I-- yeah. I think--" 

"You think?" Louis asks, intrigued. 

"I think I might be in love with him," he says, releasing a shaky breath, "is that crazy?" 

Louis feels his stomach churn for some reason. He blinks. "Um, no? I mean it's been, like, three months now? That's not crazy. If you feel it, you feel it. And I can see that he makes you happy, Z. You deserve that."

Zayn grins. "Thank you. I think he may feel the same? I don't know though. But I'll tell him soon." 

"Good, I think you should," Louis nods approvingly. 

Harry was only talking about whether or not Zayn wants the whole marriage stuff like he did a few hours ago. So it's safe to think that he probably feels just as deeply for Zayn as Zayn does for him, right? He wouldn't have asked otherwise. And who knows? Maybe Harry will be the one to change Zayn's mind about the whole thing. 

"Thanks, mate. And I'm really glad you two get along so well. Need to have my best mate and my boyfriend get along, you know? You're basically as good as my family."

Louis swallows. He's not sure why he feels nervous about it all of a sudden. He laughs it off, pushing him lightly. "You're such a sap."

Zayn laughs. Harry comes back out and sits next to Zayn this time. Louis doesn't know why he wants Harry to sit next to him again. It doesn't even matter, for God's sake. Watching them together, Louis can tell they're probably just as crazy about each other. 

It's good. Good for them. Zayn does deserve someone like Harry. Harry is great. 

____

Louis wakes up earlier than usual today and it's because Zayn and Harry couldn't be... Quiet. 

He thought he was hearing things at first, but he definitely was not when he heard Zayn's groan that he's heard one too many times before. Only this time, he heard Harry's accompanying moans with his. 

Needless to say, it was hell. He had to pull a pillow over his ears until he eventually fell back asleep. 

Which is why he is also kind of grumpy about it. But when Zayn and Harry walk out of the room, settling down on the couch, he feels a mischievous streak hit too. 

"Mate, the walls are real thin, you know?" Louis mumbles from where he's sitting and having his morning tea. 

Zayn widens his eyes, looking at Harry, who's as pink as cherry blossoms. 

And yes, Louis is sure he looks just as embarrassed. Last night wasn't that fun to experience for him either. It didn't help that he couldn't even find his earphones to drown out the... Noise. 

"Sorry," Harry says in a murmur, shrinking even further into Zayn's side. Zayn gives him a sheepish look. 

"Sorry," he says too. 

"It's fine, it's not the first for Zayn. But, you were, uh, loud," he says to Harry. 

Harry groans, covering his face with Zayn's jumper. Louis laughs a little. "It's fine, honestly, I'm just teasing."

"Louis," Zayn hisses, lifting a pillow and throwing it at Louis. 

Louis dodges it, laughing. "No, but seriously. Walls are thin. You do still have a roommate, Zayn."

Zayn grumbles something under his breath and Harry is still groaning when Louis walks back into his room, abandoning his tea for a bag of crisps. 

_____

Louis can't sleep again but this time, it's not because of loud noises. Well, not necessarily. There's noise, but not the sexual kind. It sounds like it's coming from their telly. 

Curious, Louis gets up and heads out of his room. He sees the back of his head on the couch first. Carefully, he steps down from the podium that leads to their rooms and onto the area where the living room is. 

The sound of his weight on the wood startles Harry. He gasps, looking at Louis and letting out a breath. "Shit," he curses, "shit, did I wake you?" 

"Um, no I couldn't really sleep," he lies. Well, it's partially true. "Mind if I join you?" 

Harry shakes his head, patting the spot next to him and scooting a bit. Louis sighs, running a hand through his hair. He sits down next to Harry. 

"What are you watching?" Louis asks curiously. 

"A horror movie. The Conjuring," Harry says, eyes on the screen. 

"At--" he looks at their clock, "--at, one in the morning?" 

Harry shrugs, picking some popcorn from the bowl on his lap and putting it into his mouth. "I do it when I can't sleep. Love horror movies. That, or like, serial killer documentaries."

Louis stares at him, mouth twitching. "Seriously?" 

Harry nods, looking at Louis. "I know I'm weird," he mumbles, "we can change it if you want." 

"No, I like 'em too," Louis shifts a little closer to grab some popcorn too.

"Really?" he smiles at Louis in the dark. 

"Yeah, though I wouldn't watch horror movies by myself. It's cool to know I'm not the only one who loves serial killer documentaries though."

"Yeah, not in a weird way though," Harry clarifies, "I just... Find it interesting. I would have loved to do something in criminology if it weren't for doing art history."

"Yeah? Me too," Louis says, perking up, "well, more on the psychological side. So forensic psychology."

"Wow, no way," he grins, "that's amazing. What made you choose architecture then?" 

Louis sighs. "I loved it too, honestly," he shrugs, "and I just happen to choose it in the end. And you?" 

"Same, I think," Harry says, looking at Louis now, "So have you watched this movie then?" 

"The Conjuring? Yeah. A few times. It's good but it's not, like, really scary."

"Yeah, I think so too. Though, I have to say, when I watched the second one in theatres I was kinda spooked."

"Oh yeah?" 

"Yeah," he nods, curls a little wild around his face, Louis notices, "it's probably the atmosphere that makes it better. I really want to watch the next one at the movies but Zayn hates horror movies."

Louis laughs softly. "Yeah, he doesn't like 'em. I haven't watched any at the movies, weirdly enough."

"Well, maybe I should watch it with you," Harry sighs dramatically, "I seriously have no friends that like horror stuff."

"I wouldn't mind," Louis says, though it feels wrong, in a way. Is it normal to go out with your best friend's boyfriend for a movie? Alone? 

"Great," he grins, "So you couldn't sleep, huh?" 

"Yeah, still have nightmares about you and Zayn moaning," he jokes. 

Harry laughs, picking up a popcorn and throwing it at him. "Ha-ha you're so funny," he says sarcastically. 

"Well, it does haunt me," he says, snorting, "anyways, I just couldn't fall off to sleep. And how about you?" 

"Same here," Harry sighs, "and Zayn didn't want to wake up and join me," he pouts. 

"Oh if you ever wake up Zayn and he's actually in a good mood, I will pay you," Louis says, taking some more popcorn, "where did we get popcorn from, by the way?" 

"Yeah, I know but there's... Ways to wake him up happy," Harry smirks, giggling when Louis groans, "and I got the popcorn from a packet in your cupboard above the sink."

"Thanks for that, I'll remember that next time," he says dryly. "Also had no idea we had it. It's a nice flavour."

"Its chives and cheese or something," Harry shrugs. "Hey, speaking of Zayn, can I ask you something that's probably a little out of line?" 

Louis looks at him intently, eyebrows furrowed. "Yeah?" 

"You and Zayn have been friends for ages, yeah?" 

Louis nods in confirmation. 

"So was there ever a time that you two... You know, hooked up?" 

Louis has to clap a hand over his mouth to stop himself from laughing too loudly. 

"Hey, it's a valid question. You're both good-looking and there had to have been moments or something," Harry whines, laughing. 

"God, no. I love him but I love him like a brother. I always have and always will," Louis says, once his laughter dies down. 

"Well, I thought I'd ask," Harry mumbles, smirking, "so no one else from the group then?" 

"Me? No. All like brothers to me."

"So can I ask who you're seeing now? Or if you're not, are you looking to meet a guy? Tell me about you." 

"No one for me, yet," he says, "and I'm bisexual actually, so not just dudes." he smiles. 

"Oh, sorry. Um, Zayn only mentioned you with a guy once so I just assumed-- sorry."

"No, it's all right. I haven't been seeing anyone and I'm not particularly looking, no."

"Well, what do you look for then?" 

"Black hair, long eyelashes, preferably a Bradford boy with hazel eyes, of course."

Harry laughs, whacking his arm lightly. "Very funny. Describing my boyfriend," he smiles sweetly, flipping him off. 

Louis chuckles. "No. Well, I don't know. Someone who can make me laugh, is kind and genuine. That's about it."

"Huh, that's sweet. Nothing particular physical wise?" 

"No, not fussy," he shrugs. 

"Interesting," Harry hums. 

"Is it weird if I ask you what you look for in someone? Even though you're dating my best friend," he snorts. 

Harry smiles. "Um, he's kind of my type, I guess? Someone who's laid-back, funny. Someone you can just have fun with, you know?" 

"Yeah, he is all of those things," Louis agrees, "and what about you psychically?" 

"Um, I don't know. I never always think about that stuff. Though I did have a phase, after watching Captain America, for blonde guys."

Louis laughs softly. "Well, Zayn went blonde, did you know?" 

Harry's eyes brighten. "No. Are you serious?" 

Louis holds up his hand and gets up, heading to the shelf near the door and pulling out a photo album. He sits back down next to Harry, opening up the album. 

Harry shifts closer. "There," he shows Harry. 

Harry gasps. "Why the hell does he look so good as a blonde? In my head, it shouldn't work."

Louis stares at him. "No, God, it was horrible," he grimaces, "you can't possibly think it looked good?" 

Harry frowns, looking at the picture of Zayn and Louis again. "I think he looks hot."

"Ugh, just because you're fucking, I swear," Louis rolls his eyes, shutting the album closed and placing it aside.

"It's not just because of that. I mean, come on, the man can pull off anything," he laughs. 

Louis juts out his bottom lip. "Yeah, that is true. Oh but wait, he had a skunk-do, too."

"Skunk-do?" 

Louis huffs, grabbing the album again and places it back on his lap, flipping through some pages until he finds a picture from their uni days, taken outside their campus café. 

"Oh my God," Harry cackles, "Okay, that was bad."

"Right?" Louis snorts, "I looked great all the time, as you can see. Didn't have a blonde hair phase or green."

"No. Tell me he didn't have green hair. Please tell me he did not dye his hair green."

"Fuck," Louis laughs, "I'm so glad I have most of these hair colors and styles in this album."

The green hair is actually one Louis didn't mind but it's probably because it didn't last too long either. 

"Is it a buzz cut?" Harry giggles. 

Louis looks at him, only realizing now that he's quite close to Louis, looking at the album over Louis' shoulder, resting mostly on the back of the sofa. 

"Yeah," Louis clears his throat, "he had every hairstyle, every hair colour. Most looked amazing on him."

"Wow," Harry shakes his head, running his finger over Zayn's figure in the photo. 

"Babe?" Zayn's groggy voice comes from behind them. They both turn around, looking at him. 

"Hey, love," Harry extends his hand out, "we're looking at your old hair colours and hairstyles." 

Zayn rubs his eyes, lazily walking closer to them till he's leaning over the back of the couch. 

"You had green hair," Harry giggles, their hands resting just behind Louis' head, intertwined. 

"God, yeah, grass," Zayn snorts, shaking his head, "why are you two awake?" 

"Both couldn't sleep," they say simultaneously. 

Louis smiles at him. "Yeah, couldn't sleep and I saw he was up too."

"Oh," Zayn blinks, still looking tired, "well do you wanna come back to bed?" 

Harry grins up at him, bringing his hand up to his lips, placing a kiss on his knuckles. "Yeah, let's go. Sorry we woke you."

"'S fine," Zayn waves it off. Harry pushes himself off, placing the popcorn bowl on the coffee table. 

"Night then," Louis says, sad to be left alone now. 

"Night," Harry waves, following behind Zayn back into the room. Zayn waves too, smiling, before shutting the door behind himself. 

Louis sighs, looking at the photo of him and Zayn on his lap. 

Yeah, he thinks, the green hair was probably worse than the blonde and the skunk hair-do.

____

A week later Harry casually asks Louis one morning, before he leaves, if he'd like to watch the new Conjuring movie, since he'd agreed to it before. 

Louis, at the time taken aback, stuttered out a response, saying he'd let Harry know and then asked if he told Zayn. 

"I'm gonna ask him just later, probably," he'd shrugged nonchalantly. 

"Okay, I'll let you know then," Louis finally said. 

And now he's over thinking things. Desperate and unsure, he turns to Niall and Liam to ask them what to do. 

"So is it weird?" Louis asks, picking at the label of his beer bottle. 

Niall and Liam look at each other. "I mean, does Zayn know?" 

"I don't know. Harry said he'd tell Zayn but I didn't ask. I just-- I wanted to ask you guys first before he says anything to Zayn."

"I mean, it all depends on what Zayn says, I suppose. It could just not be a big deal," Liam shrugs, "it  _ is _ just a movie."

"Yeah, you've basically already watched a movie with him anyways, in a similar setting," Niall adds. 

That's a good point. 

Louis nods, "Fair point."

"Yeah, don't worry too much. What is there to worry about, right?" 

Yes, that's also a good point. 

"Okay, I'm going to use the bathroom. We should order some food when I get back," Niall says, getting up. 

When he starts strolling to the bathrooms, Liam speaks. 

"Hey, I'm gonna ask you something and be honest, okay?" Liam asks, eyes curious. 

Louis nods, searching his eyes. 

"Do you like, um... Are you crushing on Harry? Zayn's boyfriend? Zayn, your best friend?"

Louis laughs. "No, what the fuck, Liam?" 

Yes, he'd found Harry very attractive and yes, he couldn't really look away from him when they'd first met. But it was months ago and things have obviously changed now. 

"I mean, you're worried about watching a movie with the guy..."

"Yeah, because that's what people do on dates and I don't want it to seem weird," Louis says defensively. 

He is not crushing on Harry. Holy shit that's crazy. He acknowledges that Harry's a great guy and he's attractive, but that doesn't mean anything. Right? It changed the moment he realized Harry was with Zayn. 

"Okay, well, I'm just asking," Liam frowns. 

Louis shakes his head. "Even if I did, I wouldn't. He's my best friend."

And he doesn't, truthfully. Harry is just lovely and they get along really well. Surely that can't be a crime? He's not crossing any lines. Hell, that's why he asked them about the bloody movie in the first place. 

"Are we feeling nachos?" Niall asks, joining them again. 

"Sure," Liam says, "Hey, did Niall tell you about Lily?" 

Louis frowns. "Lily?" 

"The girl he's been seeing the past month," Liam says, glaring at Niall. 

Niall's cheeks turn pink. "Because I didn't want to jinx it," he sighs. 

"Wait, you're seeing someone?" Louis asks, grinning. 

"Yes, and I really like her," Niall says, smiling timidly, "and yes, I'll introduce her to you guys soon but not now."

"Introduce who?" Zayn asks, Harry behind him. Harry pulls out a chair for himself and Zayn at the end of the table. 

"Niall has been seeing someone behind our backs," Liam says. 

"Niall?" Zayn asks, "well, who is she then?" 

"Her name is Lily. I just said I didn't say anything because I didn't want to jinx it."

"Oh," he says, "well, we're gonna meet her soon, though, aren't we?" 

Niall rolls his eyes. "Yes, but not yet," he says. 

"Why? How long has it been?" Harry asks. 

"A month so just... Be patient, okay?" 

"Okay, okay," Zayn teases. 

"Hey, Louis, if you're still up for the movie, we can go tomorrow night, at six?" Harry asks. 

Louis can feel Niall and Liam's eyes on him. "Um," he looks at Zayn next to him, "it's all good with you?" 

Zayn shrugs. "I'm not going to watch a horror movie, you know this. Might as well keep him company."

"Oh, um, okay?" 

He could have still technically gotten out of it, honestly. He could have just made up an excuse. Like he had a date or something. 

"Great," Harry grins, "does anyone else wanna join?" 

"Date with Lily," Niall declines with a polite smile. 

"Can't stand horror movies," Liam says regrettably, looking pointedly at Louis, "I will get terrified." 

"He got scared after watching Men In Black," Louis snorts. 

Harry laughs. "The comedy about aliens?" 

Liam's cheeks turn red. "It was scary! He was, like, a cockroach and he was huge. Plus, those little worm looking things are freaky. And the talking pug! Are you kidding me?" 

They all laugh at that. 

"Mate, no worries, you make me look good at least," Zayn says, patting his back. 

Liam grumbles under his breath before drinking some of his beer. 

"We were thinking about ordering food. Nachos, to be precise. You guys want anything?" Niall asks.

"Still feeling for chicken wings, babe?" Zayn asks Harry. 

Harry hums. "Sure, you'll share an extra hot plate with me, yeah?" 

Zayn nods, reaching over to kiss his cheek. "Chicken wings then. Extra hot," he tells Niall. 

Niall nods, getting up to place their order at the bar. That's one thing Zayn and Harry can happily have in common because Louis' stomach cannot handle spice at all. He loves it, but his body does not. 

"So Liam, are you seeing anyone then?" Zayn asks, leaning forward. 

"No, not really. I like this guy I work with but I haven't seen him much recently," he shrugs. 

"I could set you up, if you'd like?" Harry offers, "there's this guy who's my colleague and he seems really nice. He's single too."

Louis wonders why he didn't offer to set him up. 

"Um, maybe?" 

"Liam has a type," Louis explains Liam's hestiance, "must have brown eyes."

"You're joking?" Harry asks with a short laugh. 

Liam groans, wiping a hand over his face. "I just  _ prefer _ people with brown eyes," he says. 

"People?" Harry asks curiously, "so not just guys?" 

"Oh, uh, yeah. I don't really have a label for myself, honestly. I just like who I like," Liam explains. 

Harry nods in understanding. "You guys have a really diverse group," he says with a smile, "it's nice."

"Thanks?" Louis says, huffing out a laugh. 

"Sorry." Harry scrunches his nose. "Hey, Zayn told me he had longer hair at one stage too-- used to tie it into a little pony and everything."

"Oh, yeah," Louis huffs out another laugh, "he looked good."

"I did look good, didn't I?" Zayn hums thoughtfully then looks at Harry. "What would you think if I had to grow it out again?" 

Harry bites his lip. "I wouldn't object," he says, moving a strand of hair away from his face, "think you'd look really sexy."

"Okay, keep it PG," Liam says loudly when they kiss. 

Zayn laughs, pulling away. He looks at Louis. "What do you think? Grow it out again?" 

Louis shrugs, pretending not to notice Harry staring at the back of Zayn's head, lip still caught between his teeth. 

"Shave off the sides again?" Louis asks. 

"You shaved some of it off?" Harry gasps. 

"Yeah, but not a lot and I honestly have a lot of hair so it won't be that big of a deal. Plus, not completely, there's still some hair on the sides," Zayn explains quickly. 

"Okay," Harry pinches his brows together, "as long as it's not the grass green buzz cut again." 

They all laugh at that. "So you know about green hair," Niall sighs, coming back to their booth,"ah, good times."

"Yeah, Louis showed me pictures the other day," Harry laughs, "saw the skunk-do too, and the fully blonde one. I have to say though, I think you look hot as a blonde."

"Ha," Zayn gives the others a pointed look, "I told you guys I looked good as a blonde."

"Harry, I think you're just blind, mate. Blinded by that dick a bit too much," Liam comments. 

Louis wonders, then, if Harry knows about Liam and Zayn hooking up. It was years ago but he deserves to know, doesn't he? 

Harry flushes, snorting and shaking his head. "If that were true I'd be complimenting his skunk-do and grass hair too."

"Okay, okay, enough about my hair now," Zayn huffs. 

They go into another conversation after that but truthfully, Louis is still thinking about the fact they're going to watch a movie together... Alone. 

It's still a bit weird to him, but he supposes there's no reason not to, really. It's not like Louis would try anything for so many different reasons, and Harry wouldn't either. They're becoming friends, right? That's totally normal to do. 

He sighs to himself. He's just overthinking things, really. It's just a bloody movie. 

___

Louis is shrugging on his jacket, and Harry does the same as they get ready to leave for the movie. His stomach is still weirdly in knots and he doesn't know why. 

"Shall we go then?" Harry asks him with a smile. 

Louis nods, smiling back. He opens the front door, ready to leave when Zayn speaks. 

"Have him back by ten, mister," Zayn jokes, settling down on the couch. 

Louis laughs. "Absolutely. No later, sir."

"Ha, very funny," Harry says, rolling his eyes, "I keep telling you, you can come with."

"No demon shit for me, thanks," Zayn declines, waving them off. 

Louis snorts before leading the way out. 

"Hey, so are you a slushie fan?" Harry asks him as they reach the movie theater. 

"Um, yeah, I guess. Want to get one?" he asks. 

Harry nods enthusiastically. "Oh, and I'll get my own popcorn because I put a weird combo of flavours, and I put those little chocolates in them. The Cadbury ones."

Louis looks at him in disbelief as they jump out of the cab and head inside. "Seriously? In the popcorn?" 

"Yes, have you tasted it before?" Harry asks, giving him a pointed look. 

"No, and I don't plan to," he grimaces, "will definitely be getting my own popcorn."

Harry snorts, rolling his eyes. "Fine, but if you ever do taste it, I promise you, you'll love it."

"Whatever you say," he sings, "okay, choose your slushie flavour wisely." 

"Blue raspberry, of course," he says immediately. 

Louis groans. "No, Styles, come on."

"What's wrong with that flavour?" he asks, offended. 

"It's gross. What even is blue raspberry? It's questionable too."

Harry huffs, rolling his eyes again. "Fine, Mr. Know-it-all. What flavour is the best then?" 

"Cherry, duh," he says with a scoff. 

Harry grimaces this time. "That's so basic. I expected better from you, Louis."

"Oh, and blue raspberry isn't basic?" Louis asks flatly. 

"No, it's unique, like me," he says proudly. 

Louis shakes his head. Of course. 

"Okay, fine, let's get our individual popcorns and slushies then." 

Louis notices that Harry mixes more butter salt into his popcorn and sour cream and chives before putting the Cadbury chocolates into the bucket once they're sat down. 

He shakes his head, smiling to himself. He definitely is unique, that's for sure. 

____

Harry and Zayn seem to get more serious as the days go by. And Louis is-- He's happy. Because Zayn is happy. And soon enough, they're dating for a total of six months, officially overtaking any of the previous relationships Zayn has had before this. 

"I'm crazy about him," Zayn reveals to him one night, as they're sharing a blunt, watching Star Wars: Phantom Menace. 

"I can tell," Louis murmurs, leaning back. 

"No, like, I don't think I've felt this way about anyone before," he says, "like, I've loved someone before but never... Never like this, you know?" 

Louis turns to him, swallowing, slightly surprised at the revelation "Yeah?" 

He knows they're serious, that much is obvious from their actions. But it's different hearing it out loud from Zayn himself. 

Zayn nods, looking up thoughtfully before meeting Louis' gaze. It could just be the weed talking but Louis has a feeling he's been feeling this deep down anyways. Like he said, it is obvious. 

"Yeah, like," he shakes his head, "have you ever felt so full of love for someone, you feel like you're going to burst? I really don't think he knows how much I love him."

Louis' breath stutters. It's... A lot, listening to this from Zayn. But it shouldn't be, right? It should be great listening to this from his best friend, because he's in love. That's always a nice thing to hear. A good thing to hear. 

"I think he knows," is all Louis can say, "and I think he feels it too."

He is happy Zayn is feeling this way. He absolutely deserves this. 

"You think?" 

Louis nods again. Harry and him, since the movie, have become closer and they hang out sometimes, alone together. He is in the flat more often than not nowadays because he says it's closer to his and Zayn's work. 

So since Louis has started his own firm at home -- thanks to Harry's encouragement -- he's here all the time. So they talk and it's safe to say he's really crazy about Zayn too. He has been for a while now. Louis can see it in the way his face lights up when he talks about him, and the way he smiles.

"That boy will do anything for you," Louis says, blowing out the smoke, "and you've told him you love him and he's said it, hasn't he?" 

He knows they have exchanged the, 'I love yous' to each other maybe one and a half months ago? Two months? Something like that. And they've become insufferable, saying it to each other all the time. 

Before this, Louis was sure that those can't-keep-our-hands-off-each-other honeymoon phases only lasted the first few months, but for them, it seems never-ending. They're still all over each other all of the time. 

Honestly, Louis is grateful he hasn't caught them fucking yet. He's heard them, sure, but he hasn't seen them and he's very much like to keep it that way, thanks. 

"It's weird, I kind of want to do something big for him, you know? To show how much he means to me. But, like, what would I even do?" 

Louis shrugs, handing the blunt back to him. "Sometimes you don't have to, I think. You can feel it, with the right person. There's no need for grand romantic gestures. In my opinion, at least. Though, I suppose it doesn't hurt.

"Maybe I should do something special for six months though..." 

"Okay, like what?" 

"I don't fucking know," he groans, "I've never come this far before, you know?" 

"Right," he sighs, "well, he likes the simple things, yeah? Maybe do something that reminds you of all the little things about him?" 

Zayn bites his lip. He sits up straighter. "Okay, I think I have an idea." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah, but you need to help me with it," he says with a sweet smile. 

"Uh, okay?" Louis says, eyeing him suspiciously. 

"I'm going to do a box of all of his favourite things," he explains. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Like a literal box of everything that means something to him and I'll decorate it with like baby pictures and shit. Does that-- does that sound stupid?" 

"No, I guess not. What were you thinking about putting inside?" he finishes off the blunt with a cough and ashes it onto the tray. 

"So I know his favourite book is Wuthering Heights," he says, "and I know he'd love it if I get him the limited edition copy." 

"Huh, that's good. What else?" 

"His favourite comfort movies. Um, I know he loves Love, Actually. Do you know what else he likes?" 

"Chucky Two," Louis replies instantly, "and he likes Bambi too."

"Bambi, really?" Zayn asks, eyebrow raised. 

Louis nods. They'd spoken about it not too long ago when he'd come home early to wait for Zayn one day. 

"Yeah. Did you know he hates Star Wars, by the way?" he asks, still appalled. 

Zayn frowns. "He said he didn't mind it when I asked him about it."

Louis frowns too. "Okay, well, he told me he hates it and that it's too boring."

Zayn pouts. "Well, whatever. I'll think of other things to put in his box."

"Good," Louis pats his back, "now what do you say we go downstairs and have something to eat. We can call the lads to join us if they can."

Zayn agrees and excuses himself to put his shoes and socks on. 

'The lads' has also included Harry now. 

Something that came along with six months of Zayn and Harry's relationship, Louis can say that, aside from him and Harry becoming closer, he's also become a part of their little friend group, officially, officially. He joins them for almost everything they do and it should be weird, because none of the other boys' partners have joined the group, no matter how long they were together. It's just... Harry fits. He gets along with all of them and he makes Zayn happy, so that's all that matters to any of them, really. 

___

Zayn also decides to take Harry away to some fancy hotel for their six-month anniversary. And it's weird because the flat seems too empty. Zayn isn't here and neither is Harry. 

Louis does meet his official fifth client though. His own little firm is doing... Well. It's better than he'd hoped for it to be, but it's not as good as it should be. He's not quite sure about it anymore, if he's being honest. 

But he's doing it anyway because he really hated his previous job. He'd rather just carry on with this until he can think of something else. 

"You want the building to be shaped like a hat?" 

"Yes, a top hat. It's a fifties theme and we just feel like it'll fit," one out of the two men says to him. The one with a goatee. 

"O...kay," he says slowly, mind already reeling as to what the hell he can do to make this work. 

"Great, so we'll be hearing from you soon?" 

Louis nods. "I'll present what I have for you guys and you can tell me what you decide at the end of it."

They leave the flat at the end of it and Louis collapses onto the couch, sighing. He should probably go and meet Liam or Niall right now because he's bored and lonely, and he really can't work on a fucking hat building right now. 

He texts the group chat, too lazy to text them individually. 

_ O'Rileys anyone? Need a drink. _

Liam is the first to reply. 

_ On my way now. Everything okay?  _

_ Yep. I'll talk to you when I see you.  _

Then a message from Niall, 

_ With Lily. Sorry! :/  _

_ All good, Ni. See you soon. _

Louis sighs, changing into his sweatpants and a t-shirt before heading downstairs and into O'Rileys. He orders a beer in the meantime, while he waits for Liam. 

He pitches up, still in his suit and a briefcase in his hand. "Fucking cold, mate," Liam says, "how are you wearing a t-shirt?" 

"Hey, I don't know. I'm actually not feeling cold, for once," he shrugs, "you really came straight from work?" 

"Yeah, seems like you needed a friend and I needed a drink, to be fair," he chuckles, calling a waiter and ordering a beer too as well as a garlic roll starter. 

"Thanks for that," Louis grins, "hungry too?" 

"Starving," he says, leaning forward, "So everything okay?" 

"It's fine, honestly. It's just me feeling lost and weird again about my career as usual," he sighs, taking a sip of his beer. 

"Oh dear, what happened?" Liam asks. 

"I'm not doing as well as I should be right now. And I'm not-- I don't know, I'm not enjoying it? I mean, I have to design a fucking hat shaped building," he chuckles dryly, "what the fuck?" 

"A hat shaped building?" Liam repeats, frowning. 

Louis nods, then shakes his head. "Yeah, I'm not feeling happy with this shit again and I'm feeling lonely on top of everything," he pouts. 

Liam smiles sympathetically. "Well, what would be your plan of action if you decide to start over now?" 

Start over. Fuck. Louis sighs. "I really don't know," he drops his face into his hands and huffs, "what do you think I should do?" 

"I don't know. I can't say, Louis. Maybe you could look for something at another firm? That might be easier." 

Louis lets out a breath and nods. Of course Liam wouldn't know what to do and he didn't expect him to, honestly. He just needs to vent. 

"I mean, one of the guys who came in today had, like, a chin strap neckbeard combo," he says. 

Liam laughs. "Very interesting description," he says, "so you're taking on the hats project then but you're getting tired of it?"

Louis nods. "Basically, yeah," he shakes his head "It's fine if you can't help really, I just needed to talk about it a bit. How's work going for you?" 

"Boring. It's an accounting position," he shrugs, "Hey, I do have someone I may be able to set you up with, if you're up for it?" 

Louis perks up a bit. "Um, okay. Not opposed to that." Truthfully he hasn't gotten laid in a while. So even if it doesn't turn too serious, at least there'll be that. Provided the other person is okay with it too though.

"Her name is Carli, with an 'i'. I could set you guys up on a date, maybe?" 

Louis hums. "Yeah, okay," he agrees, "a date it is."

"Great, I really think you'll like her. And, hey, when last did you even go out on a date?" 

"Um, fuck, it's been months. Seven? Almost," he blinks at the realization. 

"Wow," Liam murmurs, "well, I hope things go well with Carli. I'm sure she'll agree to it."

"Okay, let me know and let's make it happen," he says. Liam's beer and garlic roll comes and Louis raises his glass to cheers with him before both taking a sip. 

Maybe his career is a bit of a mess right now but it wouldn't hurt to focus on his love life. He does want to be in a relationship again, so he hopes that this Carli girl will work out. If not, he can always try again. But he trusts Liam's judgment. 

____

Louis starts seeing the girl Liam sets him up with. Her name is Carli Duncan, she works in the same office space Liam. She's lovely and she's a sweet person; loves to bake too, which Louis isn't complaining about. One of the first dates they had, she baked him an apple pie which was amazing. 

Things go well, though his career is still in a confusing place. He likes her and he can see them lasting long. Or, well, longer than just a fling or anything. 

And it proves to be true as December comes around and they're still together. 

Harry also meets Zayn's parents around Christmas time. Zayn doesn't really celebrate and Harry would be going home to his parents to celebrate, so Zayn's parents insisted that they come and meet this long term boyfriend of their son's that he goes on and on about. 

Louis decides that he'd go to his sister's to spend Christmas this year. Him and Carli have only been seeing each other for a month and a half after all. So it's a bit too soon to be spending Christmas with each other's families, in Louis' opinion. 

"Louis, you're looking as handsome as ever," Trisha says, pinching his cheek and then kissing it. 

"Thanks, love," he smiles, hugging her tightly, "come and sit down, Zayn will be here soon. You guys can meet Harry in the meantime."

Louis greets Zayn's dad next as Harry greets Trisha timidly, a blush on his cheeks. He shakes Zayn's dad's hand too and then they sit in the lounge together. 

It's a little tense because he knows Harry is feeling nervous, but he has no reason to. They'll love him, Louis is sure of that. 

"Zayn is bringing take away Thai food. I hope you don't mind. We've all been really busy today," Louis explains with a sheepish smile. 

"Yeah, otherwise I would have wowed you with my lasagna," Harry chuckles softly. 

"Oh, no worries, dear," Trisha waves him off, "we'll be here for a while after all. Now tell me something about you. Zayn says you're a teacher?"

"Yes, I teach preschoolers," he explains, "I love my job."

"So how did you meet Zayn then?" Yaseer asks. 

"Oh, um, at a party," Harry says carefully, "and we got along really well So um, yeah, one thing led to another and we started dating."

"Wow, that's lovely. He's been going on and on about you so I'm glad we can finally meet you," Trisha says, "I understand you're going back home for Christmas?" 

"Yes, my family is in Holmes Chapel. I spend Christmas there every year. I've asked Zayn to come with, but he's busy with work," Harry adds the last part, his tone a little off. Huh. Maybe there was a bit of a row about that, Louis wonders, as he hasn't heard any arguments between them. Then again, he has been at Carli's more often than not. 

"Oh, dear," she frowns at him, "well, I'm sure he'll meet them soon. Louis, darling, tell us about you. How's things going?" 

"Um, nothing much. I'm still doing the firm thing, but I'm thinking about changing it up soon. And-- oh, I've been seeing a girl named Carli. She's great." 

"Oh, that's lovely. I'm happy for you. Why do you not want to do your own firm anymore though?" 

"I don't know. I'm just... Not happy with it," he shrugs. 

"I'm sorry, love. I hope you figure things out soon then," she says with an encouraging squeeze to his shoulder. 

"Thanks," he smiles kindly. 

"Um, how are you guys? Was the trip okay?" Harry asks them, eyes moving between Trisha and Yaseer. 

"Yes, a good drive," Yaseer says, "no snow yet, though, which is weird."

"Yeah, I'm expecting it soon though. By Christmas," Harry says. 

"Oh, speaking of that; what are you doing for your birthday, darling?" Trisha asks Louis. 

"Not much. Just family time, really. That's all I need," he smiles, "and I'll probably call Zayn."

They chuckle. "Oh, I'm sure he'll call you," she says. 

"Your birthday?" Harry asks, confused. 

Louis looks at him and nods. "Christmas Eve. Zayn didn't tell you?" 

Harry shakes his head. It's weird that it hasn't been mentioned but alSo at the same time, it's not. Well, in general, Louis doesn't bring it up. It's not a big deal for him. And he's told the boys to not make it a big deal either. But he did think Zayn would have mentioned it to Harry at least. 

"Oh, well um, yeah. Christmas Eve is my birthday," he confirms awkwardly. Luckily, Zayn comes in, looking a little out of breath. 

"Hello, hello. I'm sorry I'm late. Traffic was nuts," he says, placing the take away down onto the table and greeting his parents first with a huge smile on his face. 

When he gets to Louis, he hugs him too but with Harry, he only gets a chaste kiss on his cheek. Louis frowns. He can see that Harry is a little disappointed at that too. He makes a mental note to ask Zayn about it later. 

The rest of the evening is fairly uneventful. Trisha and Yaseer seem to really like Harry. He tells them some of his elaborate stories and little quirks about the kids he teaches. It's odd, because they don't necessarily talk about their relationship. He doesn't mention him and Zayn doing... Anything. 

Not about how Zayn can't cook for shit, or how he snores so loudly or how much he laughs at Harry's jokes. and Zayn, in return, doesn't say anything about Harry. It's weird. Isn't it normally when you ask about your partner's childhood? Baby pictures and embarrassing stories and all that? 

Louis shrugs it off. It's not his business anyways. Though, apparently, it does become his business. When Trisha and Yaseer leave, Zayn offers to go with them and see them for a little by himself, make sure they're settling in well at the hotel and whatnot. 

Harry doesn't protest. He doesn't say anything. He simply smiles at Zayn's parents and shakes their hands again as a goodbye. Louis hugs them and waves at Zayn, making note of the fact that Zayn and Harry didn't say goodbye to each other. 

While they're setting the dishes in the washer Harry snaps, like he can't hold it in anymore. "It's not fair," he says, closing the washer furiously, "he doesn't want to come and see my parents but I have to meet his?" 

"I-- um, what?" 

Harry huffs, crossing his arms over his chest, cheeks red. "I asked him to come home and meet my family and he said, 'no, I'm busy'," he mocks, scoffing, "like he can't take a day or two off just to come and see them? How is it fair that I meet his, and he doesn't get to meet mine? Hell, even meeting his parents took some begging on my part."

Louis fish mouths for a bit, the empty take away containers still in his hand. Harry seems to notice and shakes his head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be complaining to you. You're his best friend," he sighs, making a move to go out of the kitchen. 

Louis jumps into action then, throwing the containers into the bin and following after Harry. "Harry, wait," he says, before Harry puts on his coat to leave. 

He pauses at the armchair, turning around to face Louis. 

"You can talk to me. You're my friend too," he says softly, "and I don't think it's fair that he'd do that. Did you ask him why?" 

Harry exhales. He rounds the armchair and sits down on it, bringing his feet up. "I did, and all I got was the 'being busy' excuse."

Louis sighs. He may know what's going on with Zayn if that's the only thing he said to Harry. He sits adjacent to Harry on the sofa. "Look, I'm not part of your relationship so I can never know for sure what's going on, but I think this is Zayn freaking out a bit..."

"Freaking out how?" Harry asks, eyes slightly wet, searching Louis'. 

"Zayn is not... He's not really a relationship type, per se. He's not, like, actively against any. He just hasn't had a serious boyfriend, really. Until you, that is. His longest relationship was just short of six months," Louis tries his best to explain. 

Harry looks down at his lap. "So you're saying that he said no to meeting my parents because he's scared of committing to me?" 

Louis bites his lip. "Sort of? None of the previous boyfriends have met his parents, if that counts for anything. I'm not saying you should forgive him or whatever. But, I do think that's why he was freaking out a bit." 

Harry exhales heavily. "Is it moving too fast, maybe?" he asks. "I don't know, it's just-- I love him and I think we have something great. I want my parents to meet him too. I mean, I've been talking about him so much and clearly he has to his parents too. So I just don't get it."

"I know," Louis says sympathetically, "he's very confusing and I think it might be hitting him now that this is something really, really serious, to the point where you meet each other's families."

It's weird because not that long ago, Zayn said he was crazy about Harry and he hadn't felt love like this before. But perhaps that's what's scaring him now, because it's so strong. Maybe he's realizing that what he has with Harry is the real shit™. 

"I think you should talk to him, just explain what you're feeling because what you're feeling is valid. You're special to him."

Harry gives him a small smile. "I really liked his parents. His dad scares me a bit though." 

"Yeah, he has that effect on-- well, everyone," Louis chuckles, "and they seemed to have liked you."

"You think so? I know I was upset but I didn't want it to affect me meeting them. I just wish... He could meet my parents too. Would mean a lot to me." 

"Talk to him, H," Louis reaches over and pats his hand. 

"H?" he smiles, tilting his head a bit. 

"Yeah, Harry is too hard to say, of course," Louis teases. 

Harry chuckles. "Thanks, Louis," he says with a soft smile, "or should I call you, like, Lou or something?" 

Louis cocks his head to the side, smiling slowly. "Actually, I don't hate that."

"Yeah?" Harry grins. "Okay, Lou it is then."

"Anyways," Louis sighs, "I'm sorry you guys fought, especially now."

"It's fine. Um, sorry for unloading on you again. Out of nowhere, I mean. Oh, and I didn't know your birthday is just before Christmas. That's awesome."

"It's--" he shrugs, "--whatever."

"I should get you something," Harry hums, "I'll give it to you after I come back."

"You don't have to," Louis shakes his head, "really, I don't like making a big deal out of my birthday." 

"It's just a present," Harry smiles. 

Louis opens his mouth to reply but shuts it when he realizes he has a point. "Okay, only if you tell me when yours is?" 

"February first, and I like chocolate, besides white chocolate. Also fond of literally anything else," he laughs. 

"Great, that narrows it down then," Louis snorts. 

"Hey, speaking of gifts. I know you helped Zayn with that box of his, that he gave me. So thank you for that. I really liked it," he says with a wide grin. 

"Oh, yeah, no problem," Louis says, shrugging it off nonchalantly, "I'm glad you liked it."

"I did. Um, you don't mind me staying here till he comes back, do you?" 

"Nope. Though I do have to leave you in about half an hour to meet Carli." 

"Oh, yeah. How's it going with her, really? I didn't really get a chance to ask you about it." 

"Oh, it's good. She's nice. You guys will meet her soon. Probably after the holidays too," Louis says, smiling. 

"Great," he smiles, "I'm happy for you."

"Thanks. I hope you and Zayn work things out," he says. 

"We will. It's just a small fight," Harry waves it off, "thanks though, I hate fighting with him."

"I hate fighting with him too," Louis says, half serious, "we fought once -- can't even remember about what to be honest -- and it was the worst week of my life because he completely shut me out. Gave me the silent treatment. Though, it was his fault." 

"Jesus," Harry huffs, "so the silent treatment thing is definitely a thing, regardless of who's fault it is."

"Oh, yeah. Zayn can fight dirty," Louis scoffs, "though I guess it's worth it in the end for you, at least."

Harry flushes. "True," he mumbles.

"Anyways," Louis gets up, "I'm having a drink before I leave. Want anything?" 

"Sure, beer is fine," Harry says. 

Louis grabs two beers from the fridge and sits down on the couch again. He doesn't realize it's an hour later until Zayn comes in, a confused look on his face.

"Louis? Aren't you supposed to be out with Carli?" Zayn asks, standing behind Harry's chair. 

"Shit," Louis jumps up, "I lost track of time."

When he grabs his phone from where it's charging, sure enough, he sees a missed call from Carli and seven text messages. 

"Fuck," Louis huffs, grabbing his phone and turning back around to Zayn and Harry. He smiles, seeing Zayn sitting where he was, his and Harry's hand entwined and talking to each other. 

He hopes, sincerely, that they sort things out. "Okay, I'm very late. I'm leaving," Louis announces, grabbing his coat. 

"Bye, Louis," Zayn smiles, "and good luck."

"Bye, Lou," Harry smirks. 

Louis huffs out a laugh. "Bye, H." 

Zayn looks at him, curious, then at Harry. Louis doesn't have time to explain so he simply flicks his hand in the air and opens the door, heading out. 

____

Christmas comes and goes. Carli is upset at first, after the day he was late for their dinner, but they're okay now. New Years is spent at a party at O'Rileys with the usual gang and Carli joins them too, making it the first official introduction to Niall, Liam, Harry and Zayn. 

She's a little shy but they all seem to like her by the end of it. And she likes them. 

And Niall gets more serious with Lily too. They do meet her as well on New Years Eve. She's a delight and it's not hard to see why he likes her a lot. She seems exactly like his type.

For Zayn's birthday, him and Harry are okay again. They spend it together at Harry's place and Harry makes a three course meal for him. Zayn says they had a lot of fun and he was an idiot for fighting with him for nothing before that. 

He explained that he was freaking out a bit because of how serious they'd been getting. He'd always felt serious about Harry, but actually experiencing it was different. And meeting each other's parents was definitely very serious. But they agreed and came to a compromise at the end of it that he will go and see Harry's parents for his dad's birthday at the end of February. 

Louis feels happy about it; relieved. He seems good now. They seem happy again. So that's great. 

For Harry's birthday they're at their flat and not at O'Rileys for once, doing something small with just their group. Zayn presents Harry with his gift once the cake is cut and the sangria is finished. 

"You got me tickets to an Escape room?" Harry gasps excitedly, placing the gift box aside. 

"Yes, do you like it?" Zayn asks nervously, gauging his reaction. 

Louis knows he'll like it. 

Harry nods. "I love it," he leans forward to kiss him, "thank you." 

"You're welcome," Zayn grins back. 

He doesn't mention the fact that the gift was Louis' idea, but Louis said he didn't need to anyways. Zayn isn't always the most creative person. When it comes to gifts, at least. He got Louis a hug for three years straight. And it's not because he doesn't care, it's because he just isn't a gift-giving person. 

When they're cleaning up, Harry walks towards him in the kitchen, throwing away empty beer bottles. "Hey," he says. 

Louis places the washed plates away and smiles. "Hey, you. Had fun today?" 

Harry nods. "Um, thanks for my birthday gift."

Louis falters a bit before he looks away, grabbing some of the cutlery to put away. "What do you mean? I only gave you a card."

"Lou, I know it was you," Harry gives him a pointed look, "So thank you?" 

"What makes you so sure it was me?" Louis asks curiously. 

"I just do," he shrugs, looking at Louis then smiling. 

"Well, you're welcome, even though it wasn't from me," Louis says, biting back a smile. 

"Right," Harry sings. 

"Babe?" Zayn walks into the kitchen, resting his hands on Harry's waist from behind. "Bedroom?" 

Louis groans. "Fuck, just wait for me to leave first?" 

"Wait, Lou, you don't have to leave--" 

"No, I said I'd see Carli anyways," Louis cuts him off, "Zayn and you should have some alone time anyways."

Harry stares at him before nodding. "If you're sure."

"I'm good," Louis smiles reassuringly. 

Zayn passes him a grateful smile. 

"Just have the place cleaned by the morning, kids," Louis teases before he heads out. It's only nine months into their relationship but Louis is beginning to think that maybe he should move or they should find a place together. It could be easier at this point. 

_____

If Louis thought their little fight a few months ago was the last, he was wrong. They're okay for some time again, but as they get closer to their eleven months anniversary, they seem to be bickering more than usual.

It's like, after Valentines day, when Louis comes home after a weekend away with Carli, they're gone downhill again. He just walks in when Harry storms out, right past him, stomping down the stairs. 

"Um, what the hell?" Louis asks, entering the flat. 

Zayn is standing, running his hands over his face, still in his pyjamas, hair tousled. 

"Zayn, what happened?" he asks, placing his luggage down and walking closer to him. 

"Stupid fight, honestly," he says, teeth still gritted like he has some fight left in him. 

Louis purses his lips together, approaching the situation carefully. "Wanna talk about it?" 

Zayn looks at him then lets out a breath, sitting himself down on the sofa. "We were fine and then he brought up his parents again, and he wants me to stay longer than we'd originally planned. But, like, it's in ten days." 

Louis huffs. This again. He sits down next to Zayn. 

"How many more days does he want you to stay?" 

"Two," Zayn sighs, "because his step-dad will come too."

"Okay, so is it a leave problem? You can't get off?" 

"No, I can. It's just such short notice and he totally flipped out on me when I said that. He said that I'm a coward because I can't commit even though I know I want to."

Louis winces. "Sorry, mate. I get where you're coming from."

"But?" he huffs, looking at Louis. 

"Not  _ but _ really," he drawls out, "but is it really because you can't get two more days off in such a short notice?" 

"You did say but," he points out, "and, yes, part of it is. It's like, I'm trying and he knows that, but as soon as I get to a place where I'm good and we're comfortable, he makes it seem like I'm not good enough anymore. And this is going beyond just the parents thing lately." 

"Really?" he asks, perplexed, "you guys were fine, like, just over two weeks ago." 

"Yeah, I don't know," Zayn sighs, rubbing his hands over his face, "and he's so stubborn, he just walks away instead of talking it out." 

"Maybe you both just need some time to cool off," he suggests, "and, look, I get where you're coming from, but you and I both know you're serious about him, and Z, his parents are going to love you..."

"You think so?" he asks, eyebrows furrowed, tone nervous. 

Ah. That's what it is. 

"Why wouldn't they?" 

"I don't know. I'm just getting in my head," he huffs, "I'm still mad he gave me such short notice about it but, yeah, it just got heated way too quickly."

"Give him some time," Louis says, "at the end of the day, you're both just scared of losing each other, right? And this is a stupid fight. I know there's more, like you said, but maybe after meeting his parents, things could look up. Maybe taking that final step -- in this context -- is what you need to do before moving forward."

Zayn nods slowly. "Yeah, I'll call him tomorrow." 

"Good," Louis claps his back. He's hoping things turn out well for them after this. 

___

After going to Harry's parents' place, things are... On and off. Then, it becomes more off than on; to the point where he hears them arguing more often than not. 

One day, Louis comes home to a huge argument that's happening in Zayn's room, voices loud and booming. He sighs. 

He just came home after an interview at another firm and he's really not in the mood to deal with this. Slightly annoyed, Louis heads up to the roof to smoke. 

It's still cold out but he doesn't care at this point. He just needs to relax. Louis pulls out one of the singles he keeps in his pocket and a lighter, lighting one up. 

He's been trying to do it less and it's working, more often than not. But if Harry and Zayn keep this up, he doesn't know how long he'll last. 

He's on his second pull when he hears the ladder shake and Harry comes onto the roof too. His eyes and nose are red, cheeks blotchy and lips chapped. He was crying. 

"Hey," Louis greets him. 

Harry notices Louis, pausing. "Hey, um, I can leave. I'm so--" 

"No, stay here. I can leave if you want?" 

Harry shakes his head. "I don't want to be alone, actually."

Louis breathes out some smoke and nods slowly. Harry leans against the wall next to Louis, pulling out a carton of cigarettes and lighting one up. 

"You smoke?" Louis asks, surprised.

Harry shrugs, taking in some nicotine. 

"So" Louis starts carefully, "You guys had a fight then?"

"Yeah," Harry breathes out, taking a drag of his cigarette, "sorry for doing that... Again."

Louis shrugs. "It's fine. Do you, um, want to talk about? I know I'm his best friend but I can remain neutral."

"I don't want to burden you," Harry mumbles. 

"No, you're not, H," Louis says gently, "you're my friend too and I know that in our group we were all there first, but you've become one of our friends too. So honestly, you can talk to me whenever you want to."

Harry huffs. "It's just, like, every little thing is building and building and I don't know how to even speak to him anymore without us fighting about something." 

Louis frowns. "God, I'm really sorry," he sighs, "I thought things were good after meeting your parents. He seemed happy about it."

"He was and my parents all loved him. We came back and it was fine. God, then it became every other thing. Did you know he doesn't want to get married? Like, ever?" 

Louis purses his lips. He knew. 

"And did you know he hooked up with Liam?" he hisses, taking in another dose of smoke. 

"Yeah, but that was a drunken thing they both forgot about by now, honestly. There's nothing you need to worry about with them."

Harry looks at him, eyes narrowed. "That's not the point," he mumbles.

"You're right," Louis says, "carry on."

"No, it's just... It's stuff like that. We're similar in a lot of ways and I love him. I'm just so confused right now. We've been fighting so much."

Louis smiles sadly at him. "I'm really sorry."

"It's fine. I'm just-- it sucks because it'll be one year for us in two weeks, did you know?" 

Louis blinks. "Seriously? Wow, time flies by way too quickly."

"Yeah," Harry sniffs, "I really thought--" he shakes his head, --ugh, anyways, how's things going with you and Carli then? It's been almost six months now?" 

"Um, yeah," he clears his throat, stubbing his cigarette with his shoe, "it's... Going, I guess?" 

"Oh no, what's wrong?" Harry asks, genuinely worried. 

"Nothing, just..." he sighs, "Can I ask you something, Harry?" Louis asks, turning to face him properly. 

Harry raises an eyebrow at him and nods. "Sure?"

"Do you believe in soul mates?"

Harry looks at him properly this time. He shrugs. "Yes, but not necessarily in a romantic way? I don't know if that makes sense."

Louis hums. He's asking because Carli said they're soulmates. He keeps thinking about her saying it and how... Wrong it feels, honestly. He doesn't feel the same way. He doesn't feel so... So strongly for her. Yes, he loves her. They've been together for only six months though. Is that really enough for someone to say they're your soul mate? 

"Why are you asking?" Harry asks.

"Carli said we're soul mates," he explains, "but I'm… I don't know, I don't feel so strongly for her."

"Well, that's okay, I guess. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be..." Harry says softly. 

Louis regards him carefully. "So you do believe in soul mates somewhat then?" 

"I guess So" he shrugs. 

"So do you believe you and Zayn are soul mates then?" 

Harry inhales sharply. "I don't know." 

Louis bites his lip and looks down. 

"But, like I said, I don't necessarily think soulmates are romantic," he clears his throat, "anyways, um, what are you going to do about Carli then?" 

Louis knows he doesn't want to discuss Zayn anymore. "I don't know. I should probably end it," he says sadly, "I like her... Maybe even love her, but I don't think I'm giving as much as she is and that's not fair to her." 

Harry nods, understanding. "I get it. You'll be doing the right thing."

"Thanks," he mumbles. 

"Hey, um, my friend works at a university where they're looking for a new architecture professor. Would you be interested in the position?" 

Louis considers it. He hasn't been having any luck otherwise and teaching something he's passionate about doesn't sound that bad. "Well, today's interview wasn't too great, honestly. I don't think I'd mind that."

"That's great. I knew you'd be good for the position. I'll tell him and give him your number, yeah?" 

"Thanks a lot, H," Louis says gratefully. 

"It's no worries. I'm really sorry about your relationship with Carli," Harry says, "you guys seemed good together."

Louis purses his lips into a smile. "Yeah, I am too."

Truthfully, he isn't sure if he should be saying the same thing to Harry right now. 

_____

Breaking up with Carli isn't easy. He does really like her but he's nowhere near where she is, in terms of their relationship. She cries and he does too. But, as he gets home and sits down on the sofa, he lets out a breath that feels a lot like relief. 

It doesn't mean he isn't sad though. He is sad. But he feels good about ending it, in a way. She deserves someone who's equally invested in the relationship as she is, emotionally. 

It's five in the afternoon, so he decides to open up some of their whiskey and have some neat in a glass. He deserves it after all of this. 

Zayn comes in a few minutes later, from his bedroom, jumper and sweatpants on. He sits next to Louis, taking a sip of his whiskey. 

"You good?" Zayn asks him. 

"Broke up with Carli," Louis explains, sighing. 

"Shit," Zayn shifts closer, "how did it go? What happened?" 

"It was... Okay, I guess. As okay as breakups can go, I suppose. And, um, yeah, we just... We were in different places, emotionally. She was certain we're… Something special and I-- well, yeah..."

"I'm sorry, mate," Zayn squeezes his shoulder, "you feeling okay though?" 

"Um, kind of? Relieved, in a way. I don't want to carry on a relationship I'm not as invested in and I'm sad, obviously. We did have a great time, so."

"I get it," he mumbles, frowning. 

"Yeah, um, how's things between you and Harry then?" Louis asks. 

"Mate, you just broke up with your girlfriend. We really don't have to talk about my shit."

Louis smiles. "Zayn, seriously, it'll help take my mind off of things a bit, listening to someone else's problems," he chuckles lightly. 

Zayn stares at him for a bit before letting out a breath. 

"It's just... It's become so weird between us. Like we're just not working anymore. And I hate it because I do love him, you know?"

Louis' heart rate speeds up. "Wait, are you--" 

"I don't know," Zayn bites his bottom lip, "I don't want to."

"Then don't," Louis frowns, "look, Carli and I barely dated for half a year and we weren't even as close as you and Harry were at that stage. Whatever you have with him seems special."

Zayn nods, eyes locked with Louis'. "You're right, I know you're right. I guess... I don't know. Next week is one year for us, did you know? One fucking year. I can't believe it."

Harry did mention it. Louis smiles. "Yeah, who would have thought you'd get here?" 

Zayn gives him a crooked grin. "Yeah. I know the past few weeks or so have been tough but I really do love him. Never thought I'd feel that way about someone. I guess I felt what Carli said she felt for you." 

"She said she was my soul mate," Louis snorts, "I couldn't even fathom saying that only barely five months into a relationship."

"Shit," Zayn raises his brows, "soul mate huh?" 

"Yeah," louis hums, "do you believe in soulmates?" 

Zayn looks up at the ceiling, head resting on the back of the couch. "I don't think so."

"No?" 

"No," he confirms, "I think that you meet someone and you fall in love, but there can't just be one person out there for you. I don't believe in that."

Fair enough. "Harry said he believes in them but not necessarily romantically."

"Really?" 

"Yeah," he shrugs. 

"We clash there a lot, you know? Like, long-term wise. I wanted to ask him to look at flats with me or move into his place soon but I decided against it last minute because of how much we'd clash."

"Clash how, long-term?" 

"Like, he wants to get married, you know? He wants kids and he wants to have that perfect American idolised family with a white picket fence and shit. That's so not me."

"That's not necessarily a bad thing," Louis tries. 

"I guess," he laments, "but I do love him, regardless. So I guess we'll see what happens." 

"Yeah? And if you have to end it? Or if he ends it?" 

Zayn visibly swallows. "I don't know," he says quietly, "I'll cross that bridge  _ if _ I come to it, yeah?" 

Louis nods, choosing not to say anything else and finishing his whiskey instead. "Right, then you can get drunk with me," he says to Zayn, patting his thigh and handing him the whiskey bottle. 

Zayn smiles, huffing. "Fine but only 'cause you got your heart broken first," he says, holding it up before taking a sip. 

Louis sighs. He's sure they'll come to an agreement or a compromise of some sort. They have to, right? 

____

The day Louis gets the news that he got the job at the University, he tells the lads to meet him at the pub to celebrate. He tells Harry and Zayn too, even though he knows they're trying to work on things and reconnect right now and he wants to give them their space. This is important though, so he hopes they'll make it. 

Niall and Liam do carry on celebrating with Louis in the meantime anyways, and by Niall's third beer, he raised his half empty bottle to make a toast. 

"To, Louis," he starts, "you're the best fucking architect in the world, man. I'm so glad you're getting this opportunity to pass your knowledge onto other people." 

"Right, to Professor Tomlinson then?" Liam suggests. 

Louis raises his glass. "I do like the sound of that."

About an hour later Zayn and Harry walk in, Zayn's hand on the small of Harry's back as he walks beside him to the table. Louis smiles. They must have sorted things out then. It's been a week since their anniversary and Zayn said it was kind of tense but he knew they needed to have a serious talk by the end of it. 

Louis is guessing they had their serious talk now. 

"Hey, sorry we're late," Zayn apologizes, letting out a breath, "congrats, mate," he grins, hugging Louis. 

Louis hugs him back. "Thanks."

Harry smiles too and then he's being hugged by him as well. It's funny; they've known each other for a year and they've never really hugged before. Louis isn't sure why. 

"Thanks, H," he says, pulling back, "You're just in time for the next round." 

They sit at the end of the table, Louis adjacent to Zayn. As Louis talks to Niall about something or another, he sees Zayn and Harry hold hands in his peripheral vision. Harry squeezes his before pulling away. So they've definitely sorted things out. See, Louis knew they would eventually. They seemed good with each other. It was just a rough patch. 

The next morning Louis wakes up without a hangover, luckily. Zayn is in the lounge already, drinking what Louis assumes is coffee, looking down. The TV is switched on but it's clear he isn't paying attention to anything. 

Louis sits down next to him, stretching a bit. Zayn smiles at him. "Congrats again, bro. Proud of you."

Louis smiles back. "Thanks. I'm kind of excited to become a professor. Sounds fancy too."

Zayn snorts. "Get all the ladies and men with that title."

Louis laughs. "One can only hope."

They sit in silence for a bit, Louis realizing the show that's playing on the TV is The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. He speaks again. It reminds him of Harry because Harry loves shit like this. "Hey, Harry didn't stay over?" 

Zayn shakes his head. 

"Oh," Louis frowns, "well I'm glad you two had a talk yesterday. You seemed better." 

"We did have a talk but, um," he clears his throat, eyes still fixed on the rug. 

"But...hat?" Louis asks, confused. Just last night they were together and close. They looked happier, didn't they? 

"We broke up. It was amicable. I still love him and he loves me, but it's just not working anymore," he explains sadly.

Louis sits up. "You're joking," he laughs, clearly in disbelief. 

Zayn finally looks at him and shakes his head. "I'm not. We broke up. We spoke properly, that is true. But we both decided that it was for the best to end things."

"I'm-- fuck, what happened though? You guys just celebrated a one-year anniversary, like, a week ago." 

Zayn exhales heavily. "We want different things and we're not working anymore. As much as we did have chemistry and could have worked well together, I just don't think that's true anymore."

Louis can hear the somber tone in his voice. He scoots closer to Zayn, placing a hand on his back."Fuck, I'm so sorry, Zayn. I really thought you guys would sort things out."

Zayn lets out a choked laugh. "Me too," he croaks, "but we're fine. I don't want him to leave the group or anything." 

Louis watches Zayn wipe away a tear from his cheek. He sighs, pulling him in a side hug. "Are you sure?" 

"I mean, he's friends with everyone now, isn't he? I wouldn't do that to you guys."

"Z, it's not about us," Louis says gently. He'd be really sad if he didn't see Harry again but Zayn is his best mate. 

"No, he's-- he's one of us now. I just need some space from everything for a while, I think. He probably will do the same thing. And it's going to be awkward for a bit."

"Yeah, it will be," Louis agrees, "but hey, it's okay, yeah? I'm here for you."

"Thanks, man," he grins, his smile wobbly, "I'm here for you too."

Right. His breakup with Carli. He'd almost forgotten about that, honestly. Only because he's been distracted with so many other things lately. 

"We'll wallow away together," Louis chuckles. 

Zayn snorts, shaking his head. 

"It's going to be hard because I know how much you felt for him. But, it'll be okay," Louis reassures him. 

Zayn nods. "Yeah," he says earnestly, "I just need to give it some time." 

____ 

Zayn kind of throws himself into his work after that and Louis -- and the rest of the boys -- don't really see Harry after that. Louis is sad because Harry has become an important friend to him. So he makes an effort to text Harry and make sure he knows as much. 

_ Hey, H. I know  _ you're _ probably at a stage where you want some space and that's fine. I just wanted you to know that I'm there for you too. I know I'm Zayn's best friend but I'm your friend too and I'm here if you wanna talk about things. We're missing you x  _

Maybe saying that 'we're' missing him is a bit much, but they do all miss him, including Zayn. He's sad. Louis can tell. But it'll take some time for things to go back to the way his life was without Harry. Well, somewhat without him. If he continues hanging out with them, Zayn will have to see Harry more often than not. He will just have to adapt to that now. Louis doesn't know how he's going to do it, but he's sure it'll get easier with time. 

Louis doesn't get a reply from Harry for the next few days and he's convinced he may never see Harry again after this; but on a Friday night, as soon as Louis sits down after putting a pizza in the oven, someone knocks on their door. 

Zayn is out for a work thing so he said not to expect him home any time soon, so it could be Liam because Niall is also busy with Lily. Louis huffs, getting off the couch and opening the door. 

"Harry," Louis breathes out, shocked. 

"Hi," he croaks out. He looks rough, like he's barely getting any sleep. 

"Hey, what-- um, did you come to see Zayn...?" he asks carefully. 

Harry shakes his head. "Um, I know he's at a work thing today. I saw it on his Facebook," he chuckles, "I came to see you."

Louis inhales sharply. "Oh, okay. Would you like to come in then?" 

Harry nods, walking past Louis and into the flat. 

"Um, do you wanna sit down?" Louis suggests, gesturing to the couch. 

Harry nods again, sitting where he normally sat when he used to come over. Louis sits down next to him, leaning forward a bit, elbows on his knees. He looks at Harry carefully, unsure about what to say. 

"Um, sorry I came here I just-- I don't know. I've been with a friend for a bit and they're awesome but I... Wanted to talk to you for some reason? And I saw your message so..."

Louis frowns. "Okay, we can talk then, H. It's okay. Like I said, I'm here for you too."

"Okay, um, did you ask Zayn before sending me that message?" 

Louis shakes his head. "You're my friend too. He'll understand."

"Oh, okay," he lets out a breath, "is he... Is he okay?" 

Louis shrugs. "He's dealing with it. It's only been two weeks... It's going to take some time for both of you."

"Yeah," Harry leans back, resting his hands on his lap. 

"How are you feeling?" Louis asks, genuinely curious. 

"I'm fine? I guess. I just have these moments where I really miss him but I'm dealing with it better than I thought I would. Is that... Is that weird?" 

Louis shakes his head. He's pretty sure Zayn is the same. "It's normal," he reassures him, "I still have days where I miss Carli but obviously with you guys it's different because you two were together for a year and some."

"Sorry about Carli," Harry frowns, looking at him, "I don't think I was ever really there for you for that."

"It's fine, honestly," he waves his hand in the air dismissively, "I'm okay." 

It's the truth. He'll have days where he misses certain things about their relationship but he's okay, honestly. 

"Thank you for reaching out to me, by the way," he says softly, "I wasn't sure if you guys would want that since Zayn has been your friend for way longer."

"Doesn't matter. You're still a friend and it's not like you cheated on him or summat. So no hard feelings from any of us, really."

Harry looks down at his lap. "It's going to be weird now, isn't it? If I continue to hang out with you guys."

"For a bit, probably," Louis says, "but it'll get better and like I said, you're a friend too, we want you there with us. You're part of our group now," he says with a smile. 

"But Zayn might not be okay with it," Harry says, voice quiet, "and I don't want to come in between anyone--" 

"Harry, it's okay. Look, it's going to be hard but you're one of his good friends too, if not best friend after being together for a year. He'd miss you as well." 

"Yeah," he huffs, "I miss hanging out with you guys. I'm sorry if I'm putting you in an awkward position by the way." 

"It's okay, really. You're not," he says quickly, "Hey, do you want some tea or something? I have pizza in the oven as well." 

"I'll have some of your tea, yeah," Harry nods shortly, "and, um, sorry for disrupting your dinner."

"Harry, it's okay," he enunciates, "let me go make some and we can talk, okay?" 

Harry nods again. Louis makes the tea and gets the pizza out of the oven, keeping an eye on Harry as he does so. He's sitting in silence, eyes still on his lap. If it weren't for his twiddling thumbs, Louis would have thought he was asleep by now. 

He places a plate of pizza slices on the coffee table and hands Harry his tea. "Come on, talk to me. What's going through your mind?" 

Harry looks up at him. "I'm just still trying to comprehend the fact that we're not together, honestly. And part of me..."

"Part of you?" 

"Part of me feels relieved," he gets out quickly, "I know I sound horrible but part of me is relieved because we'd been fighting so much. And I know we ended amicably but," he shrugs, "anyways, yeah that's what's going through my mind, I guess. Oh, and the fact that I may not see you guys again."

"Okay, first of all, I told you, you're our friend too. Second, are you feeling guilty for feeling relieved about it?" 

Harry nods, taking a tentative sip of his tea. 

"I get why you'd feel that but Harry, if you guys were fighting so much, there's nothing wrong with you feeling relieved about not fighting with him as much anymore." 

Harry sighs. "I know, I guess. I'm just trying to remember what my life was like before him. It's hard."

"He is too," Louis slips, "I mean, that's normal, it's okay and you guys will get there eventually."

"Yeah," he mumbles then looks to Zayn's room. I need to fetch my stuff some time, huh?" 

"Yeah, take your time," Louis says softly. 

"Thank you, Lou. For being so nice and stuff. I know it must be a little weird so thank you," he smiles. 

"Not weird and you're welcome," he grins back. 

"Kinda miss this place," Harry says quietly, looking around, "spent most of my time here." 

"You're always welcome," he says, "just a little awkward now, I know." 

"Yeah," he trails off, sipping his tea again. 

"Come on, have some pizza and relax, H. It's only me."

Harry smiles, a little softer. "I know."

"Wanna put on a movie or something?" 

"No, I probably shouldn't stay long. Zayn will be here soon and I don't want things to be weird."

"I know. You're going to have to have to meet him again eventually, you know?" he says gently.

"Yeah but not now," Harry shakes his head, "thank you for doing this. I think I just needed company. I've grown really close to you guys so." 

"I get it. Don't worry," Louis says, "come on, eat and we can talk."

___

Harry and him talk a little bit more. He texts Louis almost everyday about something or another. Sometimes it's about Zayn, sometimes it's about work, and other times about random things. Its nice and Louis is candid about it to Zayn. 

"We talked and we're still talking. I think he just needs someone there for him as well. If you mind, we can sort out something else," is what he says to Zayn. 

"I don't mind," he says after a while, "is it just you or?" 

"Well, um, just me for now but Niall wants to invite him for Lily's birthday. I know you're going to be there too. You okay with that?" 

Zayn takes a deep breath and nods again. "I suppose I have to get used to it eventually." 

Louis purses his lips. "I know this is going to be weird, but you guys got along really well before, right? I'm sure you can get to a place where you two can be friends again. It's not going to happen immediately, So baby steps." 

Zayn let's out a breath and nods earnestly. "Baby steps," he agrees. 

"Great, now what the fuck do we get for Lily?" 

____

Lily's party is... Interesting. Louis and Zayn arrive together and Harry is already there with Liam by his side. They're seated at a formal table, and stand up upon seeing Louis and Zayn.

Louis hugs Liam and then hugs Harry too. "You okay?" he asks. 

Harry only makes a non-committal sound in return. Louis pulls away and gives him a sympathetic smile, patting his shoulder. 

Louis sits next to Harry and let's Zayn sit next to Liam. Then it's awkward. Louis pours himself some of the wine from the table. 

"So how's the job going, professor?" Liam finally asks. 

Louis exhales. "Good, actually. Love my students and it's not a huge class So" he shrugs, "have Harry to thank for this."

Harry's body relaxes a bit as he smiles. "You're welcome. You seemed like you'd be great for it. I'm glad you're liking it." 

"I am," Louis confirms, smiling at him again, "how's preschoolers going for you?" 

"Good, they're always cute," he grins to himself. 

"Hey, can you guys believe that they're so serious?" Liam chimes in, looking at Niall and Lily chatting to two people Louis doesn't know. 

"Yeah, good for Niall. He seems to like her a lot," Louis says, smiling. Only then does he realize it's probably not the best thing to talk about with Harry and Zayn. 

"Um, I think we should go wish her happy birthday and meet Niall," Louis says, getting up, "Zayn?" 

Zayn nods, getting up too and walking to them. Louis wishes Lily and greets Niall, watching the table they were sitting at. Zayn actually heads back to the table and pours himself a drink, mostly talking to Liam but Liam seems to try and involve Harry as much as possible. 

Liam leaves eventually; where, Louis isn't sure, but then he watches as Harry tries to talk to Zayn. He knows the reply isn't something Harry likes but Harry speaks again and Zayn says something else before getting up and walking to where Louis is standing with Niall, Lily and her friends. 

Louis tunes back into the conversation while Zayn comes into it again, smiling at something Niall says. When Louis looks over, he sees that Harry is sitting alone at the table and sticking out like a sore thumb. 

Louis sighs. Zayn is chatting to Niall, and Lily is still chatting to the two friends of hers that Louis can't remember the names of. He excuses himself and heads to the table where Harry is sitting. 

He has no idea where Liam went but Harry doesn't have to be alone like this. He takes his seat next to Harry again. "Hi, you," he says with an exaggerated smile. 

"Hey," Harry smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. 

"Don't you wanna join us over there?" he asks. 

Harry shakes his head. "I don't think so. I should probably go soon." 

"Why? We've only been here for, like, half an hour," Louis frowns, "come on, Niall has missed you too."

"I--" Harry sighs, "--Zayn said he'd rather not talk to me alone yet."

"He did?" Louis asks, frown deepening. 

"Yeah, I tried," Harry huffs. 

"Oh," he bites the inside of his cheek, "well, I mean, just give it time?" he suggests. "He's still in his brooding phase but it'll be okay. Come hang out with us for a bit."

Harry visibly swallows. "I need more wine," he mumbles, pouring it into the glass he has before they both get up. 

Harry follows behind Louis to Niall, Lily, Zayn and only one of her friends this time. 

"Hey, Harry," Niall says, "was wondering when you'd join us. We were just telling Rachel here that you too teach preschoolers."

"Oh, um, yeah," Harry blinks, smiling at Lily's friend.

Thankfully, Rachel and Harry fall into a conversation and Zayn is looking down. Louis walks to him and nudges him. "Relax a little bit," Louis tells him, leaning closer to him. 

Zayn sighs, glaring at him before nodding slowly. "Zayn here might get a promotion, did he tell you guys?" Louis asks. 

Niall knows but Lily and her friend,and Harry, don't. Harry looks up at Zayn, smiling softly. "Really?" 

Zayn looks straight at him and nods. "Yeah, it's looking good so I probably will get a promotion soon. I'm hoping, at least." 

"That's-- wow, that's great," Harry says. 

"Yeah, very proud of this guy," Niall says, patting his back. 

"Thanks," Zayn looks down. 

"Hey, Louis, I wanted to introduce you to someone, by the way," Niall says, "he's a friend of Lily's and he's going to be teaching at your uni."

"Oh, okay," Louis looks between Harry and Zayn. He still doesn't know where Liam is. Lily and Rachel are in their own world, talking about something else. 

"Come on," Niall, tugs on his arm. 

Louis feels bad because this friend of Lily's seems nervous and looks like he wants help but Louis can only focus on Zayn, Harry and Rachel, because Lily disappears and joins Louis, Niall and this friend of hers -- Louis thinks his name is Raj. 

He notices Harry trying to talk to Zayn, and Zayn talking back but he's looking down at the ground most of the time and his demeanor is standoffish. 

He sighs. "Louis?" Niall places a hand on his shoulder. 

"Hi, yeah?" Louis clears his throat, tuning back into the conversation. He doesn't know why he cares so much, really. It's none of his business at the end of the day. 

"Raj says he's starting next week and was wondering if you'd show him around a little at the University?" 

Louis blinks and nods. "Yes, sure," he agrees, "um, excuse me for a second, yeah? Nice to meet you Raj."

Raj smiles politely. Niall gives him a confused look and Lily seems clueless about everything. Louis walks to Zayn, Harry, and Rachel with determined steps. 

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" Louis asks. 

"Actually I was just about to go get another drink," Rachel says, smiling widely at Louis, "would you like to join me?" 

"Oh, um, actually I need to talk to these two but I'll catch you later?" Louis says, smiling. 

She smiles back, lips pursed before excusing herself and walking away. 

"Louis, you idiot," Zayn sighs, huffing out a laugh. 

Harry chuckles softly too.

"What?" Louis asks, confused. 

"I think she fancies you, Lou," Harry explains. 

Louis stares, perplexed. "Huh?" 

"She's been staring at you the whole time and she even tried talking to you before this."

"Yeah, even when she was speaking to me, she asked about you. Did you not hear any of this?" Harry asks incredulously. 

He didn't. He was so busy trying to get Harry and Zayn to talk to each other again, he hadn't realized that Rachel liked him or whatever. Not that he's interested or anything, just that he didn't even notice. 

"Oh," he says dumbly, "well, I'm not really looking for anything anyways." 

Zayn and Harry both chuckle, looking at each other. Zayn passes him a small smile and Louis counts it as a win thanks to his obliviousness. This can work. They just need some time. 

____

He doesn't know how it happens but, as Harry becomes part of their group again, he grows closer to Louis. They happen to text more and call, and they meet each other for lunch more often than not since the university isn't too far away from Harry's school. 

Zayn and Harry are slowly becoming okay with being around each other so much, thankfully. Harry joins in on their pub nights and while him and Zayn don't always speak, the air isn't as tense either. They've come to a peace of sorts, it seems.

So they hang out a bit on their own. It's not weird. At least, he doesn't think it is until Niall says something. 

They're having tea at Louis' -- yes, tea -- and talking about how Harry is part of their group again.

"It's good that he is. I don't know if I would have managed if I were Zayn, really. Having my ex around all the time? It'd be a lot, especially knowing how well they got along and how good they were together."

Louis swallows his tea. "I mean, they're fine though, and they're slowly becoming friends again. Harry thinks So at least."

"He said so?" Niall asks curiously. 

Louis nods. "Yeah, just the other day we met at that coffee shop right outside the campus and he told me that he's feeling better about joining us so much because he feels like he and Zayn can actually be friends again."

Niall tilts his head to the side curiously. "How often have you been meeting him for lunch or whatever?" 

"Almost every day, I think," he replies, "why?" 

Niall's eyes widen marginally. "You've been meeting him almost every day for the past month for lunch?" 

Louis frowns. "Yeah?" 

"Is that not... Weird? Like, is Zayn okay with it?" 

"Why would Zayn have an issue with it? Aren't we all friends?" he asks defensively. 

Niall raises his hands up. "I'm just saying if it were my ex it would be weird that my best mate meets him so often." 

"Zayn is okay with it. He knows we meet," Louis says honestly, agitated, "what are you insinuating anyway?" 

"I'm not insinuating anything. It's just-- don't you think it's weird to be in the middle of this?" 

Louis rolls his eyes. "Middle of what, exactly? They broke up almost two months ago. They're becoming okay with each other again and I'm only helping them." 

Niall purses his lips, looking down. He gives Louis a half shrug. "I know you want to help them but don't put it all on your shoulders either. They're both grown adults who can take care of themselves."

Louis feels his cheeks grow hotter from irritation. "I know that," he snaps, "I'm Zayn's best friend and you know what, Harry is becoming one of my best mates too, so I don't know what you're trying to say but I don't think I'm doing anything wrong."

"I didn't say you're doing anything wrong," Niall says calmly, "I'm just telling you to be careful."

Louis sighs, resisting the urge to roll his eyes again. "Do you want to order something to eat?" he asks, effectively changing the subject. 

Niall nods, seemingly more than okay with changing the subject. Louis and Niall end up ordering some Nandos and Zayn joins them a few hours later with Indian food. None of them mention the fact that Louis is hanging out with Harry so much or how weird Niall thinks it is. 

Because his words stick with Louis, he brings it up to Harry when they meet the next day at the coffee shop. 

"Lou? You're not eating?" Harry asks, glancing down at his untouched sandwich. 

Louis blinks, shaking his head. "Sorry, I was just... Thinking," he mumbles, finally taking a bite. He didn't realise how hungry he was until now. 

"Thinking about what?" Harry asks innocently, bringing a spoonful of soup to his mouth. 

Louis' eyes linger on his lips as he licks the spoon clean. "Niall said something to me," he says, looking at his eyes again, "and I wanna ask you something... Be honest, yeah?" 

Harry frowns, nodding. "Okay?" 

"Is this weird? Like… What we're doing, is it weird for you?" 

Harry shakes his head. "I-- well, I thought it would be at first but it's not. I like seeing you and we're friends, aren't we? So I suppose there's no reason for it to be weird, right?" 

"That's what I said. Like, we're friends. And there's no reason for it to be weird. I mean, Zayn knows and he's okay with it..." 

"He knows we're meeting, like, every day?" Harry asks. "I mean, I know you told him but now that you mention it, does he know we've been seeing each other everyday for the past few weeks?" 

Louis shrugs. "I don't know. I just asked if it would be okay if I see you for lunch," he blinks, "and he said yes."

"You didn't mention you've been doing it for weeks," Harry blinks. 

"Well, I mean we meet all the time and I speak about you to him sometimes. You see him too. It's not like we're hiding this, right?" 

"Yeah, I suppose. We should say we're meeting more often than not though. I don't want it to be weird for him even if it's okay for us, yeah? We're only just getting to a place where we're okay again."

"Yeah, okay. I'll mention it to him. I just wanted you to know that you have become a really good friend of mine, maybe one of my best mates. I do like hanging out with you, so thanks for, like… I don't know, being my friend, I guess?" 

Harry chuckles. "Thanks for not dumping me when Zayn and I ended things," he says, "I really liked talking to you-- I mean all the boys, but I feel like you and I developed, like, a special bond? Probably all the 2am horror and crime marathons."

Louis laughs. They did have a few of those throughout the months since Louis first found him in their lounge and other early mornings where Zayn wasn't there, and they would talk over coffee and pancakes. 

"I miss your pancakes, you know?" Louis sighs, "I'm sure Zayn does too. I tried to make some the other day and he took one look at them and said he was getting breakfast somewhere else."

Harry cackles. "I'm sorry. Maybe I'll come over this weekend and we can hang out? Have pancakes and stuff. Invite the rest of the boys too."

Louis nods. "Yeah, sure." 

Louis brings up the topic to Zayn later that week, a day before Harry is meant to come over to make pancakes. He has to smile every time he thinks about it. It's so ridiculous that that's all he's coming here to do. 

"Hey, Z," Louis clears his throat, putting down his pen. 

Zayn looks up from his phone at Louis. "Yeah?" 

"Can I ask you something?" 

"Okay?" he raises a brow at him. 

"It's okay that I hang out with Harry, right?" he asks with a swallow. "Like, we see each other for lunch sometimes and we're becoming fairly close. He's one of my best mates, I'd say, but I just realized that you may not realize that. So is that okay?" 

Zayn frowns. "I mean, I know you two are getting close from what we see whenever we all hang out together. But, like, you're friends, yeah?" 

Louis nods.

"Then it's fine. He's always liked you anyways. I know you two get along. Unless there's something else going on--"

"No," Louis shuts down the idea quickly, "I um, no, there's nothing."

Zayn regards him carefully. "Okay, well, it would be a little but…. I guess, he's not mine and I'm not his anymore anyways. So I suppose I wouldn't really have a say in what he does or doesn't do. Not that I ever really did, but uh, yeah. It's not weird that you hang out."

Louis nods, relieved. He didn't feel like they were doing anything wrong by hanging out so often. Niall's words just got to him and he couldn't help but wonder. 

"Hey, do we have everything to make pancakes?" Zayn asks.

Louis shrugs. "I don't know. When I tried to make them, we had everything we needed." 

"Oh okay," Zayn says, then looks down at his phone again. "Oh, I do need to buy milk though."

"Oh, uh, will you be able to go? I need to mark these papers..." 

Zayn nods, pushing himself up. "I'll buy some pizza bases too, since you make those pizzas so well."

Louis chuckles as Zayn pats his back before grabbing his coat and heading out the flat. The first thing Louis does is message Harry. 

_ Talked to Zayn, he said he doesn't mind at all. Was just worrying for nothing. _

_ Apparently he did notice how close we're getting though. I wonder what that means _ . 

Harry replies only a few minutes later. 

_ I suppose that means we're talking more when we're with the others? Idk  _

_ AlSo thank God.  _

Louis reads the message again. It's possible. They have been having their own little moments and inside jokes more often than not. It's possible that they've noticed it and just didn't say anything about it. What is there to say, really? Louis was the closest to Zayn and he became just as close to Liam, eventually Niall too. Nothing wrong with Harry and Louis becoming closer. 

Satisfied, Louis sends Harry a sticker back and goes back to grading his papers. 

___

The next day Harry arrives early, smiley and ready to cook. Louis is still rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes when he answers the door. 

"I brought chocolate chips," Harry says in lieu of a greeting. 

"Thanks," Louis smiles softly, "come in then."

"Thanks," he says, setting down his packet of chocolate chips onto the counter and getting out the pan, heating up the stove -- something Louis has gotten used to by now. This basically became Harry's second home. 

Zayn walks out of the bedroom then, also rubbing his eyes. He pauses, noticing Harry, and smiles gently. "Hey," he greets. 

Harry turns to look at him, returning the smile. "Hey," he greets back. 

"Um, I'm just going to brush my teeth," he says, pointing his thumb towards the bathroom.

Harry and Louis both nod. Louis walks into the kitchen, grabbing some of the juice out of the fridge. "You guys seem so much better," he says. 

Harry smiles down at the bowl of dry ingredients. "Yeah, I think we're getting there little by little. It's nice to have him as a friend again." 

"Good," Louis smiles, happy that they can be friends now. 

"Um, can you pass me the milk?" 

Louis nods, grabbing it and handing it to Harry. 

"Thank you," he sends Louis a smile and it's so... It's different somehow. Louis can't exactly say what's different about it but it feels different.

"You think he's gone to shower too? He normally has to after he brushes his teeth."

Louis snorts. "Probably. I need to shower too," he grimaces, sniffing his armpit. 

Harry chuckles. "You don't smell bad. You never smell bad." he almost scoffs. 

"Wow, been smelling me a lot then, have you?" Louis asks, raising a brow at him as he leans against the fridge. 

Harry waves his hand in the air dismissively. "You wear strong cologne. I always know what you smell like."

Louis blinks. That's... Sweet?

"Zayn always said that's why he steals your clothes," Harry laughs. 

Louis laughs too. He did say that to Louis before. "Hey, that reminds me; you still have my Bulls shirt."

"Oh, yeah," Harry shrugs, spooning some of the mixture into the pan, "I really like it. Don't take it away, please?" he pouts. 

"I won't," he rolls his eyes, "I just realized it, that's all."

"I may need to ask you for that hoodie of yours too-- the black one with the flower thing."

"Yeah, you can take it. It's way too big for me anyways," he shrugs. 

"Oh, um, speaking of clothes, I have a few shirts of Zayn's and a jumper. Can I just... Like, give it back to him?" Harry asks, scratching the back of his neck. 

"Um, I mean, I guess you could keep some? I don't know. Just ask him and see what he says." 

"Yeah, I guess I will eventually," Harry says, eyebrows furrowed. 

"Hello, honey, I'm home!" Niall yells out, walking straight into their flat, Liam behind him. 

Louis laughs, walking to them to greet them. They greet Harry in the kitchen and set down some fruit cut up nicely in a bowl on the table. 

"We didn't know what else to bring. We don't really have breakfast together often. Unless it's like a hangover cure, which, in that case, we almost always get McDonald's." 

"It's fine, Harry is stealing the show anyways," Louis says. 

Harry sends them a thumbs up and wide grin over his shoulder before going back to the pancakes. 

"Can't believe we've known you for so long and we have yet to taste your pancakes," Niall says, sitting down at the table. 

"Yeah, Zayn and Louis go on about it," Liam adds, sitting down next to him, "oh, wait, do you need some help in the kitchen?" 

Louis snorts. 

"What?" Liam frowns at him. "I can help!" 

"Oh, no, it's not that," Louis chuckles, "Harry will not let you help in the kitchen, trust me."

"Hey, I'm not that bad," Harry says, glaring at Louis, "I just like things done a certain way." 

"Louis and I called him Monica for the longest time," Zayn says, suddenly back in the room, hair still wet. 

Louis smiles. "Yeah, from Friends," he explains. 

"Oh, is that what that was?" Liam's face lights up like a light bulb went off in his mind. "I thought you guys had, like, kinky names for each other or something." 

"Monica?" Louis asks, eyebrows furrowed, "how on earth is that a kinky name?" 

"I don't know, kinky stuff is odd sometimes," Liam shrugs. 

"I'm not Monica," Harry grumbles in the kitchen.

Zayn and Louis give each other a look, grinning. 

"Oh, remember when we watched Friends that one time and we all had, like, a brief obsession over it? We said each one of us would be which character. Who did we say would be whom, again?" Niall asks. 

"Um, we said you would be Joey," Liam says, looking at Niall, "and you guys said Zayn and I are both like Ross. Remember we had a fight about it?" 

Louis chuckles to himself. It was one of their stupidest fights as a group, and they had a lot of stupid fights. 

"We said Louis would be Chandler," Niall adds. 

Louis smiles. "Right, I didn't mind that," he shrugs. 

"Well, Harry, you can decide. Between Liam and Zayn, who is Ross?" 

Harry smiles, plating a few pancakes and placing it in the middle of the table. 

"Honestly?" 

They all nod eagerly. 

"Liam would be Ross and Zayn would be Rachel-- simple," he says sweetly, sitting down next to Liam.

Zayn laughs. "I'm fine with that, mate."

"Ugh, I hate it. Ross sucks," Liam sulks, arms crossed over his chest. 

"Hey, Ross and Rachel," Niall giggles, pointing at Liam and Zayn. 

"Rachel and Monica," Liam says pointedly looking at Harry and Zayn. 

Harry looks at Zayn and for a moment, Louis is sure that the air will turn tense again but it doesn't. They both just laugh. 

"They did make out that one time," Zayn says, winking at Harry, then smiling timidly. 

To say Louis feels a sense of relief is an understatement.

"Right, but technically, Ross and Rachel end up together and Chandler and Monica end up together. I, Joey, am alone at the end of it."

"Aw, Nialler, you're the only one of us in a long term, serious relationship right now," Louis says, pinching his cheeks. 

"Anyways," Liam says, sitting straight, "I better not find out you're sleeping with my sister," he says in a playful warning tone to Louis. 

Louis almost chokes on his spit. 

"Oh, dear lord," Niall mumbles, cheeks red. He looks at Louis and Louis doesn't like the look he gives him. 

"I'm going to shower," Louis announces, in hopes to keep the mood light still, "please don't devour everything while I'm gone."

When he comes back out, Harry and Zayn are nowhere to be seen. He scans the flat, confused. 

"Did I miss something?" Louis asks, sitting down, confused. 

"Oh, we made them go buy more butter and syrup," Liam explains nonchalantly. 

"Uh, they went together?" 

"Yep," Niall smirks. 

"Okay, am I missing something?" Louis asks, grabbing a pancake and placing it on his plate. 

"We figured they needed to talk properly after everything and who knows, maybe they'll realize they made a mistake." Liam says, jutting out his bottom lip. 

Louis slows down his chewing, staring back and forth between the two of them. "You're trying to get them back together?" 

"Not necessarily," Niall says, shrugging, "there seems to be feelings there still, so..."

"Guys," Louis chastises, stomach churning. 

"I think they're going to get back together," Liam chimes in, "they seem like they're meant to be."

"Hmm, exactly," Niall hums, "could be a sort of unfinished thing, don't you think?" he asks Louis. 

Louis huffs, appetite lost suddenly. "No, I don't think So" he says, "I think they're trying to get over each other and find a place where they can still be friends. So maybe getting to talk alone wasn't a bad idea but I wouldn't root for them getting back together. They ended for a reason."

Liam and Niall stare at him. "But they seem so... I don't know. It just seems like there could be more," Liam huffs. 

Louis shakes his head. "Don't force anything, guys. They're just getting comfortable with each other again. Please don't, like, parent trap them... Again, I guess."

Niall sighs. "No, you're right. They need to be able to do this by themselves. I guess we're just so used to them being together that we miss it."

"Yeah, probably," Liam says, "I mean they were great together and you can't deny Zayn was really happy." 

Louis pushes his plate away, drinking his half empty juice instead. "He'll be happy like that again. He's happy right now."

"Okay, what's with you? Is this because of what I said?" Niall asks. 

Liam looks between the two of them. "What did you say?" 

"He's been hanging out with Harry alone, meeting him for lunch the past few weeks," Niall says. 

"Oh, and Zayn is okay with it?" Liam asks. 

"Yes, he is. I told him and it's fine," he grits his teeth, "God, why is this such a big deal? Would it be weird if either one of you guys did this with Harry?" 

"I mean, no?" Niall shrugs. "I said, I'm just worried about you being in the middle of this and if your reaction is anything to go by..." 

"I'm not worried about them anymore. They're doing well. I don't know what else you want me to say."

He's feeling a little frustrated, honestly. 

"It's weird because Zayn is your best mate and Harry is his ex," Liam explains softly, "it would be a little odd for any of us to meet all the time like that, I think. But it's fine if Zayn is okay with it."

"Harry is my friend too," Louis says, throwing his hands up in frustration, "we can hang out without you guys judging my motives, or his for that matter."

"You're right," Niall backs off, "I guess we're just protective in general, and we don't want any of you guys to get hurt somehow."

"Thanks," Louis says dryly, getting up and placing his empty glass in the sink. He can hear Niall say something but then the door opens and Zayn and Harry walk in. 

"It is weird," Harry says with a small laugh. 

"What's weird?" Louis asks curiously, standing at the threshold of the kitchen. 

Harry places the syrup and butter on the table. "That you and Zayn leave clothes in the bathroom and change in the bathroom instead of going into your bedroom to do it like a normal person."

"It's not weird," Zayn and Louis say simultaneously. 

"No, that's weird," Liam insists, "where do you moisturize and stuff?" 

Louis snorts. "We moisturize in the bathroom, Liam."

"I do both depending on the day," Niall shrugs. 

Louis shakes his head as they continue to argue about it, Harry looking happier throughout, and even Zayn is smiling more. He swallows nervously. He's not sure why. 

When the boys leave, Louis talks to Zayn, because he can't hold it in anymore. "The boys think you and Harry can get back together," he says, joining Zayn on the sofa. 

Zayn looks at him, confused. "What?" 

"They made you guys go and get butter and syrup earlier because they thought it would be the start of you guys realizing you really want to be with each other, or whatever."

Zayn laughs softly. "No, that's not going to happen."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Look, I figured they did that on purpose and it was good that they did. We did need to talk and it wasn't a very long talk but it was much needed," Zayn explains, "So we spoke and I feel… Better, but we're not getting back together. If anything, I think I'm getting the closure I need to move on."

Louis' chest feels lighter. He clears his throat. "I'm happy for you, mate. And I'm happy that both of you can be at a better place now." 

"Thank you," he smiles, "and thanks for being a friend to both of us."

Louis grins, relieved for the most part, but he still feels another weight that grows in his chest. 

____

_ Lou, can you come over? _

Louis stares at the message, biting his lip. Harry sent it five minutes ago. It's 2am. It's... Different. 

They've been hanging out almost all of the time for months now, so Harry asking him to come over isn't unusual. He'll text Louis when he wants to see him, and they watch a movie together or play Scrabble -- whatever else they can do. Point is, it's not unusual. 

However, the time of this one is unusual. It's fucking 2am, of course it's odd. He types back a reply carefully. 

_ Everything okay?  _

_ Kind of? Idk I'm sorry I didn't even know if you'd be awake. Just needed to talk to someone. _

Louis sighs. There must be something wrong. 

_ How about a phone call?  _

Harry sends. 

Louis can do a phone call. That's fine. They've had plenty. He presses on the call button without a second thought and waits for Harry to answer. 

"Hi," Harry greets, voice extra croaky.

"Hey, H. You okay? You don't sound too great," Louis frowns. 

"'M sick," he huffs, sniffling. 

Louis smiles fondly. "Shit, sorry, love." 

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep and I don't know why I asked you to come over. I guess I just don't like being alone when I'm sick," he sniffs again. 

"I'm sorry," Louis says again, "I don't get it, I saw you yesterday and you were fine."

"Yeah, I only really started to get the sniffles after that and I started sneezing a lot. Next thing I know, my nose is clogged and my throat is itchy as fuck," he groans. Louis can hear that his voice sounds nasally. 

"I can come over in a few hours. I'll bring you some soup," Louis offers. 

"Lou, you have work," Harry reminds him gently. 

He shrugs even though Harry can't see him. "I know, but I can afford to miss one day. Plus we're mostly done with the syllabus anyways."

"I can't ask you to do that..." he sighs. "Even though I asked you to come over at 2 am," he snorts. 

"Yeah exactly," he teases, "so I'll be there around nine, maybe?" 

"Okay. Thank you," he says softly. 

"You're welcome. Now, did you take any medication yet?" 

"Yeah, I took something for cold and flu. If I don't feel better by Friday I'll probably have to call the doctor." 

"Yeah, I think you'll have to," he hums, "do you want me to bring anything else when I come to see you?" 

"Um, food? Like any food. And a dessert," he says excitedly.

"Okay," Louis laughs softly, "I really think you should try and get some sleep, H." 

He huffs. "I know. Um, can you tell me a story to help me fall asleep?" 

Louis smiles to himself. "Are you saying my stories are that boring that they put you to sleep?" 

"No, not boring. Your voice is just soothing-- comforting," he says, mumbling his words like he's already tired. 

"Okay, whatever you say," Louis sings, "let me tell you about this student of mine who kinda smells, like all the time."

"Louis," he giggles, hissing his name though. 

"What? It's true. He smells all the time. I have half a mind to go and tell him that too."

"That's mean. Body odor is normal," Harry scolds. 

"It is normal, but you have to admit you wouldn't willingly hang out with a person who smells like sweat constantly. I don't think it's hygienic either," he grimaces.

"Sweating is normal," he argues, "poor guy."

"It's normal, I know," he sighs, rolling his eyes and turning into his back, "but it's weird and gross to smell so much. Bad breath is normal too, doesn't mean I wanna smell it all the time. It's a put off too."

"Yeah, one of my biggest pet peeves," Harry huffs, "I see your point."

"Yes, now, let me tell you a story about him and the other guy in my class who stares at everyone."

"Ew, what?" 

"Yeah, he has this weird staring thing he does to different people in the class everyday. He sometimes stares at me and I swear I'm so close to kicking him out on account of him being too creepy."

"But why does he stare? I wonder," he sniffs. 

"I have no idea. But anyways, turns out him and Stinky Mcgee are best friends," Louis snorts, "such an odd match."

"Well, odd matches are sometimes the best matches," Harry says, "sometimes the worst though."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," is all he offers in return and then Louis hears him yawn. 

"Go to sleep, H," he says softly. 

"No, tell me more. I can't sleep yet," he protests. 

"Fine," he sighs, "even though staring guy stares at someone the entire class, he's actually a pretty good student in terms of his grades."

"Really?" he asks, another yawn thrown in. 

"Yep, so the other day..."

____

"Hey, who were you talking to last night?" Zayn asks. 

"You heard that?" Louis asks, surprised. Zayn sleeps like he's dead. 

"Yeah, I woke up to go to the bathroom and heard you talking to someone. Are you seeing someone?" he asks with a smirk. 

"No," Louis shakes his head, "um, it was Harry actually..."

He stares at Zayn, gauging his reaction. Louis swallows. He was on the phone with Harry till he fell asleep, which admittedly didn't take too long. Now, he's going to Harry's to help him out. 

"Oh," Zayn blinks, surprised, "is he okay?" 

"He's fine. Well, not really. He's ill. So I said I'd go around today to bring him soup and stuff. He said he doesn't like being alone while he's sick, So" he shrugs, chewing on his toast again. 

Zayn nods. "He doesn't like being alone when he's sick," he says quietly. 

"Yeah, so I'm getting him some spicy tomato soup and he asked for dessert as well so I'm thinking chocolate cake."

"Hmm, sounds good. He likes some spice especially when he's sick," Zayn says, looking down at his bowl of cereal. 

Louis clears his throat. "Um, are you okay?" 

Zayn shakes his head, like he's snapping out of it, before nodding shortly. "Um, yeah, it's just weird I'm not-- I'm not the one taking care of him this time." 

Louis feels his stomach churn. "Oh," he says quietly, "I-- I don't have to go, really."

Even though he really wants to -- he's not sure why, because he hates being around sick people -- but he won't go if Zayn is uncomfortable with it. 

"No, he said he doesn't like being alone and I know he doesn't, so you should go," Zayn says, dismissing it with a wave of his hand. 

"Only if you're sure..."

"I am," Zayn smiles at him, "why did he call you so late though?" 

"He said he couldn't sleep and he was sick, so he wanted me to talk to him, tell him a story until he falls asleep," Louis says honestly. Though he doesn't mention that Harry actually asked him to come over initially. 

"That's sweet of you," Zayn says, "it's nice seeing you two get along well." 

There's nothing off about his tone, really. It's not like he's bitter or strained about it. "Yeah, he's great. And it's nice to see you two becoming friends again." 

"It is," Zayn smiles, "actually, I have a date tonight."

"What? Really?" Louis asks, a little surprised. 

"Yeah. I mean, it's been three months. I think I should try and move on, right?" Zayn asks, sounding unsure himself. 

"I mean, yeah, I guess," Louis nods, "only if it feels right for you." 

Zayn hums, placing his spoon back into the bowl and leaning back against the chair. "I think it feels right? Like, I'm glad Harry and I are talking again and we're not, like, walking on eggshells around each other anymore. I feel like I can go on a date again." 

"Okay," Louis says, "um, good luck then?" 

"Yeah, thanks. I'm going to go after work-- wait, aren't you supposed to be at work by now?" 

"Oh, yes, um, I took off," he says, "we're not really doing anything in class anyways..."

"Oh, okay," Zayn bites his lip, "um, anyways I should go. Don't wait up for me, okay?" 

"Yeah, sure. I'll make a frozen lasagna later, I think," Louis says, mostly to himself. 

Zayn smiles, patting his shoulder and getting up, placing his bowl in the sink. He leaves with a wave and Louis lets out a breath. 

That was weird, and for some reason, Louis feels guilty. But he doesn't have a reason to be, does he? Harry is his friend. 

Louis places his plate in the sink and leaves, stopping at the coffee shop near the university and Harry's school to fetch chocolate cake and spicy tomato soup. 

Harry answers the door with a duvet around his shoulders and a tissue in his hand, nose red and eyes droopy. "Wow, you look horrible," Louis grimaces. 

"Thanks," Harry rolls his eyes, "did you bring my sustenance?" 

"I did," Louis says, stepping inside, "why don't you go back to bed and I'll warm up the soup?" 

Harry blows his nose and nods, lazily dragging his feet over the wooden floors to his room. Louis pouts. He looks really sick. 

Louis warms some soup in a bowl and places a piece of chocolate cake on a plate before grabbing a water bottle and heading to the room. Harry is laying on his side when Louis walks in, mouth parted. 

"Hey," Louis says, placing the plate and bottle down before sitting down next to Harry, "I brought you some of that spicy tomato soup you like."

Harry pushes himself up, sitting against the headboard and accepting the bowl from Louis. "Thank you," he croaks out. 

"God, you look and sound worse than before, love," Louis says, watching him put some of the soup into his mouth and swallow. 

"I know. I think I need to go to the doctor," Harry scrunches his nose, "but thank you for coming. I hate being alone when I'm sick."

"Yeah, of course," Louis says, "let's just hope you don't get me sick too."

Harry rolls his eyes half-heartedly. "You not eating anything?" 

"I already ate this morning," he says. "Oh, um, I told Zayn, by the way."

"Told him what?" 

"That I'm coming over to help, um, take care of you," Louis says, playing with the duvet, "and that I took off today to do that."

"Oh, was he... Okay with it?" 

"Yeah, he said he's okay with it," Louis clears his throat, "anyways, you mumbled something about your sister yesterday. What was it?" 

"Oh, she got a promotion at work!" Harry says happily, finishing off the last bit of his soup by drinking it straight from the bowl. 

"Oh that's great," Louis watches him, amused as he licks his lips, "when last did you eat?" 

"Yesterday afternoon, I think," Harry says, placing the bowl aside and moving the blanket up to his chest again. 

"No wonder why. Come on drink some water and we can have some cake," Louis says, handing him the water, "you have to stay hydrated."

"Thanks, dad," Harry huffs, drinking some of the water. 

Louis shakes his head. "Here," he hands Harry his fork. "Do you want to watch something?" 

"Yes, please," Harry snuggles into the covers again, "put on that new horror movie."

"Of course," Louis smiles fondly. He grabs the remote from the nightstand and switches on the TV, going into Netflix and clicking the horror movie Harry wants. 

For some reason, Louis' heart still races and he feels a weird ball of lead in his stomach. They're eating the cake when Louis finally knows why he feels that way, because he blurts out: 

"Zayn said he's going on a date today," 

Harry looks at him, confused, before averting his gaze to the plate. "Oh," he says. 

"Is that...um, how are you feeling about that then?" Louis asks, heart in his throat. He just wants to know how Harry feels for some reason. How he feels is important. 

Harry shrugs. "I mean... Weird? But not necessarily bad... Just weird."

"You know, he kinda had a similar reaction when he found out I was coming here to help take care of you today."

"What do you mean?" 

"He said it's weird because he's always done it before. But I guess there'll be those moments for you guys for a bit. Are you... Sure you're okay?" 

Harry smiles softly. "Surprisingly, I am. He's allowed to date whoever he wants to now, and I'm not going to be a bitter ex about it." 

"It's okay if you are," Louis says softly. 

"Yeah, I know. But we really didn't have a bad breakup or anything. Or not in that sense, at least. We agreed to break up, you know? I think the hardest part was learning how to not be together. We agreed, that day we went out for butter and syrup, that it wasn't us breaking up, just friends getting back together," Harry smiles," and it's so cheesy but I guess I liked the sound of that."

"That's... Good," Louis grins, "so are you also going to try and... Date again?" 

Harry shrugs. "I'm not really looking for anything right now, honestly. I think I'll just be single for a bit. If something comes my way, then it does."

Louis hums. He doesn't know why that ball of lead doesn't disappear even though he's gotten the answers he's asked for. 

___

Ever since Zayn got promoted, he has been spending a lot more time at work. He says the hours are rough but he loves what he does. Louis hopes it's worth it because he looks tired all the time. 

But on a good note, he and Harry are good now. They're friends; they joke and they laugh and they don't walk on eggshells around each other anymore. The awkward moments have lessened quite a bit. You'd never actually say that they're exes, in Louis' opinion. 

It'd only taken six months, but it's all worth it because they're fine now and Harry is back to hanging out with them all of the time too. He and Harry still meet almost everyday for lunch and it's safe to say that they're best mates. 

It's such a silly thing to say, but Harry has truly become his best friend. Zayn still is, don't get Louis wrong, but so is Harry now. He's just become someone Louis can talk to about everything and not feel judged, and Harry feels the same. 

Whatever reservations Louis had before that prevented him to become closer to Harry have disappeared. Zayn is okay with it. He pokes fun at them. Louis pokes fun at him and Harry-- it's fine, they have fun. 

On a Friday night, Zayn has a date so Louis asks Harry to come over and hang out. They're halfway through dinner when Harry starts complaining about still being single. 

"It's weird, like, what is the proper time to move on?" Harry huffs. "It's been six months and I have seen him try and date other people. Hell, he's on a date now and I can't even get one!" 

Louis sighs. He knows Zayn has hooked up with one or two people since their breakup too, amongst the dates, but he doesn't add that in. Harry seems to be confused as is.

"There's no real time period for this sort of stuff. You move on when you feel like you're ready," Louis says.

It's not the first time they've spoken about it. Back when Harry was sick and he'd found out Zayn had gone on a date, he asked Louis if he should go on one too. Louis said he should do it when he feels ready to. 

Harry stares at him and nods. "Yeah, I guess you're right. It's not like I'm hung up on him, honestly. I just don't know how to move on." 

Yes, he's said that before too. Louis sighs. "Is it really bothering you that he's moving on with other people?" 

"No, it's that I haven't," Harry says, placing his fork down, "this pasta is amazing by the way."

"Why do you need to, so badly? I haven't dated anyone since Carli or slept with anyone for that matter," he shrugs, "and thank you, the secret is peanuts."

"Oh," Harry says, chewing it thoughtfully, "um, yeah, about that. Don't you wanna hook up with someone else by now?" 

Louis shrugs. Honestly, he hasn't really felt the need to. Yes, he still gets off because he needs to, but he doesn't feel like he has to have sex with someone in order to get off. He feels even less inclined to be with someone in a romantic relationship. "It doesn't bother me. I like being single. If a relationship happens, then it does." 

Harry sighs. "I guess you're right. I don't know why it bothers me so much to be single. Nothing is wrong with it. Maybe what I need is to be single for a bit. Or just something casual?" 

"Or," Louis smiles, "you could just not think about it so much and let things happen if they do."

"Okay," Harry rolls his eyes, "fine, thanks, love guru."

"You're welcome. I'm always here for advice," Louis smiles proudly. 

"Oh, speaking of advice, I have this great friend," Harry starts, smiling, "and it's his birthday soon..."

"Yeah?" Louis asks, lips twitching. 

"I was hoping to get your advice on what to buy him?" Harry ends with a sweet smile. 

"Oh, well, if he's such a great friend, shouldn't you know?" Louis asks, playing along. 

Harry huffs. "Lou," he whines, "please tell me what you want, I'm horrible with giving gifts."

"I don't want anything, I told you," Louis says, "you being here is enough."

"Oh shut up," Harry whines, "flattery will get you nowhere." 

"It's the truth," he says, shrugging, "we're having our Marvel movie marathon for my birthday into Christmas day, are you kidding me? That's the best gift ever." 

Harry scrunches his nose. "Right, Marvel..."

"Harry, I can't believe you look so unenthusiastic about it!" Louis says, baffled. 

"I mean, I don't find it all that interesting," Harry sighs, "but I'll do it for you and Chris Evan's ass." 

Louis snorts. "Fair enough," he says, raising a glass to that. 

Harry grins back, clinking their glasses together. "To Chris Evan's ass." 

"To Chris Evan's ass," Louis agrees, drinking his wine. 

_____

"Was I supposed to bring more stuff?" Harry asks, confused as he looks at the array of snacks on the table. 

"No, no, this is just because I'll be too lazy and engrossed in the films to get up, really."

"Why is there an empty bottle here? Louis, oh my God, is that a pee bottle?" Harry grimaces. 

"No, it's not. I just drank some water and didn't throw it away," Louis rolls his eyes, picking up the bottle and heading to the kitchen to throw it away. 

"There," Louis says, throwing his hands up, "it's thrown away."

"Good, now let me give you a hug," Harry grins, placing the crisps and chocolate down. Louis opens up his arms. "Happy birthday," Harry says, breath warm on his skin. 

"Thanks, H," Louis smiles, pulling away, "I really appreciate you spending my birthday with me. You don't have to." 

"It's fine. My parents are on a holiday in frickin' France and my sister is with her boyfriend. I'll gladly spend your birthday and Christmas with you." 

"All the way through New Years, remember?" Louis reminds him. 

"Yeah, everyone will be back by New Years, right?" Harry asks, sitting down on the couch. 

"Yeah, we're having something at Liam's," Louis says, sitting next to him, "did you forget?" 

"No, I didn't. My mum wants me to come and visit in Jan though, since we aren't seeing each other now. Did I tell you?" 

Louis shakes his head. "Makes sense. She wants to see you guys. I may do that too." 

"They're gone to your step-dads family's place, right?" 

Louis nods. "Yep, in Manchester central somewhere. I'm not that close to any of them so I didn't think it'd be something I'd want to do."

"Makes sense. Are you not close to your step dad at all?" Harry asks softly. 

"We get along but that's it," he shrugs, "plus the fact that I don't see them often doesn't help." 

"Do you mind?" Harry asks, "that you aren't close, I mean."

"No, I don't," he says, popping an M&M into his mouth, "now enough with that, let's get this movie marathon started." 

Harry sighs, getting comfortable underneath the blanket and grabbing the bowl of popcorn. Louis does the same and clicks play on Captain America: The First Avenger.

They're only on their fourth movie when Harry's eyes start to shut, but Louis can see he's trying to keep them open. He smiles. Honestly, he's tired too so maybe they should stop it and carry it on tomorrow. 

"H, let's go to bed," Louis says, poking his cheek.

"Okay," he says, not protesting, "am I taking Zayn's room?" 

"Yeah, if you don't mind," Louis grins. 

Harry nods tiredly, rubbing his eyes. He gets off the couch. Louis switches the TV off and heads to the kitchen to put away leftover snacks before joining Harry in the lounge again. 

"Come on, sleep head," Louis pats his back, "let's go to bed."

"My luggage," Harry says, pointing to the duffle at the door. 

Louis huffs, going to fetch it and handing it to Harry. "Bed time now?" he asks. 

Harry nods, stepping up onto the podium with Louis, letting out a yawn. He's extra adorable when he's tired, Louis observes. It's not the first time he's thought of Harry as adorable but that's okay; he thinks Liam and Niall can be adorable too. Nothing weird there. 

"Hey, it's midnight," Harry says, just as they're about to turn around to go to their respective rooms. He looks up, smiling. "Merry Christmas, Lou," he says, embracing Louis. 

Louis hugs back, rubbing his thumb over Harry's spine. "Merry Christmas, H," he says, pulling away, "have a good night." 

"Thank you. I hope you enjoyed your birthday even though there was no cake," he chuckles lowly.

Louis snorts. "I did. I told you, I spent it with you, didn't I?" 

Harry looks at him, eyes sparkling, almost, in the moonlight. Louis swallows and clears his throat. "Um, anyways," he says, "Night, Harry."

"Right, night, Lou," Harry makes a move to turn around again. 

Just as Louis reaches his door, Harry calls out for him. "Yeah?" 

"Captain America is still better than Iron Man," he says with a smirk before heading inside the bedroom and shutting the door behind himself. 

Louis laughs, shaking his head, walking inside his own bedroom. He really can't even be mad at Harry's (wrong) opinion and it scares him a little. Again, with most things regarding Harry, he's not sure why. 

____

They spend every day together practically, till the 29th when Liam comes back. Then, Liam joins them and asks for their help planning the New Years Eve party. Louis isn't in the party planning mood honestly, but once he sees glitter, his mind changes. 

They decide on a black, gold and white theme for it and Liam insists that their attire should be semi-formal at least. 

So Louis ends up wearing his black blazer with gold boots. When he sees Harry, he's not surprised to see that he went all out with a gold suit and a white shirt underneath. The best part is that he looks so great in it. Louis can only name a handful of people that could look nice in this. 

"What do you think?" Harry asks, giving him a twirl. 

Louis grins. "Show stopper, of course."

"Thank you," he grins back proudly, "and you don't look too bad yourself. I love the boots."

"Thank you. I've never worn them before-- can you believe?" 

Harry shrugs. "Now is as good a time as any to start, I suppose. If you don't plan on wearing them again I'll gladly take them off your hands for you though." 

"I think your feet are bigger than mine, H," he says with a pointed look. 

Harry rolls his eyes. "Not drastically so."

"Oh, no no, I beg to differ. You, sir, have sasquatch feet."

"Why are you being mean to me? You've been nice before this. Is it because you're a year older now and you're obligated to be angrier as you grow older-- grumpier really?" He grumbles. 

"Yes, sure," Louis plasters a smile on his face, sickeningly sweet. 

"Oi! What are two doing there? The drinks are here," Niall says, peeping his head out of the kitchen. 

"Right. Let's go get our booze on then," Louis says, "what's your drink choice tonight, H?" 

"I'll keep it mellow and end with champagne. How about you?" he asks as they make their way to the kitchen. 

"Hmm, rum and coke maybe, and I'll end it with champagne like you," he smiles. 

"Great, let's make 'em then," Harry hums. 

It's fun. As fun as can be for New Years Eve. They FaceTime Zayn just before midnight. By that stage, they're all already tipsy, more or less. So they're shouting at Zayn as they speak to him. 

"Love you, Z!" Louis says, draping an arm around Niall's shoulder. He can hear Harry giggle next to him. 

"Love you too, Louis," Zayn laughs, "take care of yourselves, lads."

"You too," Louis smiles back, "give your family a big kiss from me."

"I will do that," Zayn snorts, "right, I'm going to go now. Happy New Year guys. See you soon, yeah?" 

"Bye," they say in unison before Zayn hangs up. 

"Missing him," Liam pouts. 

Louis looks at him, amused. "He'll be back in three days, lad." 

"Yeah, yeah," Liam waves him off, drinking some of his cider. 

Louis laughs, shaking his head. He turns to Harry. "Want a refill?" he asks. 

Harry nods enthusiastically. Louis smiles. They head into the empty kitchen and Louis pours them both a glass of champagne-- in a plastic cup, actually. 

"Do you ever feel lonely when you're alone for holidays like this and, like, Valentines Day?" Harry asks him, staring through the opened archway to the living room filled with couples, waiting for the countdown to begin. 

Louis shrugs. "Not really. It's nice to have someone for sure, but I don't find it necessary either. It's just another day for me," he says honestly, turning around to give Harry his drink. 

"Huh," Harry says, eyebrows furrowed as he accepts the cup. 

"What?" he asks curiously. 

"I wish I had an approach like that. I guess... I don't know, from a young age I've always been surrounded by people who made it seem like if you're single, for them you're like, sad or a loser and I--" he sighs, "--I don't know, I guess it's getting to me for some reason?" 

"People suck. You're allowed to feel however you want to about this stuff but you don't need to have anyone. It'll happen when it happens. All that matters is that it's with the right person." 

Harry tilts his head to the side in thought. "I like the way you look at things."

"Thanks," Louis says, amused. "Are you, um, missing Zayn?" 

He waits for an answer with his heart in his throat. 

"I mean, I wish he was here with us?" Harry locks his lip. "I don't miss, like, us, if that's what you're asking. Um, should I?" 

"I mean, no? If you don't miss you two romantically then that's not a bad thing. You're meant to be moving on from each other, right? Liking other people and all?" Louis asks with a short laugh. 

Harry stares at him, looking intently. "Yeah, we are," he says softly. 

Before Louis has a chance to think about the look in his eyes, the countdown begins and people in the living start yelling loudly.

Harry scrambles up and they both sip of their champagne. Before either of them know it, there's a loud 'Happy New Year!' that rings throughout the house. Harry throws his arms around Louis' neck, hugging him tightly. 

Louis smiles, winding his arms around Harry's waist carefully while balancing the cup. "Happy New Year," Louis says into his shirt. 

"Happy New Year," Harry says back, pulling back.

Louis keeps his arms around Harry's waist, Harry's hands still on his shoulders as their eyes meet again. Louis swallows, an odd fluttering in his belly. He looks down at Harry's lips before they both blink and step away from each other's holds, clearing their throats. 

"Oi! Happy New Year," Niall says, walking in and hugging Louis, followed by Liam and Lily. 

"Here's to a great New Year!" Liam declares, raising his half empty cup up before they all drink. 

Louis finds Harry's eyes and gives him a warm smile. He sees his chest expand and release when he lets out a breath, smiling back. 

Here's to a great New Year indeed. 

____

The next day, Louis still can't stop thinking about it. There was a weird moment between them. They're close and they have been for a while, but yesterday was different. He'd never felt so... Nervous around Harry before, his stomach twisting and heart in his throat. Or, well, if he ever did feel it, it was never like that. It was different. He can't even explain it. 

"Where's your mind at, Louis?" Niall asks, leaning forward. 

"Everywhere all of the time, Niall," he jokes back, "were you saying something?" 

"Just talking about yesterday. Made any New Year's resolutions?" 

"No, too much pressure and most of them are stupid," he shrugs, "why, did you?" 

Niall shakes his head. "I already have my friends and Lily with me. I'm quite happy with where I am."

"Good for you," he says with a genuine smile.

Niall is silent for a bit, both of them sipping their drinks before he breaks the silence. 

"So how's Harry?" Niall asks. 

"You saw him yesterday," Louis says flatly, raising an eyebrow at him.

He can't stop thinking about Harry and what almost happened, kind of? And truthfully, Louis couldn't even sleep properly because of what almost happened at the countdown. They'd almost kissed, for God's sake. Right? Or they had a moment of some sort that definitely was not platonic. It was... Weird, but also not weird in a way that Louis didn't want to happen again. In fact, he kind of wanted the opposite. That's what made him anxious. 

Niall shrugs. "You two seemed really close. Like you've bonded even more in less than a week together. So just asking how he is." 

Louis shrugs. That may be true-- about them becoming closer. Between their Marvel marathon and Louis not even getting mad at Harry insisting Captain America is better than Iron Man, to their heated Scrabble game, they did grow closer. They hadn't spent that much time alone together, but Louis found that he thoroughly enjoyed it when they did. 

"I guess we did grow closer," Louis mumbles. 

"You're lucky Zayn didn't see it," Niall says, sipping his coke. 

Louis frowns. "See what, exactly?" he asks, narrowing his eyes at him. 

"You two had this weird linger that seemed like you guys were gonna kiss," Niall says bluntly, eyebrow raised as if he's challenging Louis to argue otherwise. 

Louis swallows. "I don't know what you're talking about," he denies stubbornly. 

"Louis, just be careful because Harry is--" 

"He's his own person who can make decisions for himself," Louis cut him off sharply, "and so am I."

Niall presses his lips together. 

"Look, I don't know what you think you saw but it was nothing, okay? He's one of my best mates so I probably did look at him a little differently. Doesn't mean I wanna kiss him."

Niall cocks his head to the side, eyes searching Louis'. "Fine. Sorry I brought it up." 

"Yeah," Louis mumbles, drinking his own lemonade. 

"Is Zayn still with that guy, on an unrelated note?"

Louis shakes his head. "Went on two dates and that was the last I heard of him. I don't think he's really looking for a serious relationship right now if I'm being honest. I don't think either of them are."

"Yeah, makes sense," he says. 

Louis leaves it at that. He doesn't want to think about it anymore. 

___

Of course it doesn't work. He sees Harry all the time and while it's not awkward between them per se, it's clear that there's still an elephant in the room whenever they're together -- especially alone. 

But then Zayn comes back and things ease up a little. Louis isn't sure why or how, but it does. Harry comes over and he calls Louis over whenever he needs or wants to, just like they did before and Louis really thinks they can move past it now. It was an odd moment that doesn't have to mean anything. 

Zayn's birthday comes and goes and they're drunk as fuck by ten in the evening, at some club called, OK! that Lily swore by. 

It's not too bad, just crowded. Zayn is having fun from what it seems, head thrown back as he laughs at something Niall says. Liam is having fun on the dance floor and Harry is feeding all of them shots, one after the other. 

At some point Louis insists that they all dance. None of them argue for obvious intoxicated reasons. So they dance together. Literally together in their own little circle. Slowly, Niall drifts off to one side with Lily and they do their own little dance that Louis doesn't want to watch for too long. Liam goes off with a bloke happily. Then it's just Zayn, Louis and Harry. That is, until a taller bloke joins them and asks Zayn for a dance. 

Zayn looks around, clearly hesitant, eyes meeting Harry's. Harry frowns. "Zayn, go have fun," he insists. 

Zayn lets out a sigh before nodding at the bloke. He smiles at Zayn and leads him to one side, keeping Zayn close in front of him as they dance. Louis looks at Harry, gauging his reaction. But Harry truly seems unbothered, grinning at them then whispering to Louis, "he seems to be having fun."

Louis nods in agreement. "And you're okay?" 

Harry frowns in the dim flashing lights. "Yeah? Lou, we broke up months ago. He's been on dates and shit. I told you I'm not hung up on him or anything. I'm genuinely happy if he finds someone else."

There's no bitterness or hesitancy or even sadness in his voice. Louis blinks, a little surprised. He smiles, a warm feeling tugging at his heart strings.

"That's good then," Louis says. 

"Yep. Now, come on. Let's dance." Harry does a weird wiggle with his hips and stands in front of Louis, grinning widely. 

Louis snorts, shaking his head. "Give me your hand," Louis says to him. 

Harry doesn't question it, extending his hand. Louis intertwines their fingers before spinning Harry around once then twice, then thrice before he giggles, telling Louis to stop. 

"Sorry," Louis stops, Harry close to his chest, their joined hands to his side now. And again, fucking again they have this-- this weird moment where Louis can't look away from his eyes, and all his body wants to do is move closer. 

Again too, they both seem to realize it at the same time and pull away from each other quickly, hands unlocking. Louis misses the warmth already. 

"Um, I'm going to get some water," Harry says, "want anything?" 

"No, I'm good," Louis shakes his head, clearing his throat. Panicked again, as Harry goes to the bar, he looks around to see if anyone caught them. Luckily it seems to be too crowded for any of their friends to notice. At least, he hopes so. 

He really needs to snap out of it. He doesn't know or understand what's happening right now but it can't continue. Right? Yes. Yes, it can't continue. 

____

By the following week, they do a good job of not talking about it at all. Really, Louis thinks it's for the best. Nothing really happened so there's nothing to talk about, right? 

So they're fine. They're okay. They hang out, they talk, they laugh and they hug and it's not weird. It's not. 

"Hey," Zayn greets him on Monday morning, all dressed up in a suit looking fancy. 

"Hey, big meeting today?" Louis asks. 

"Yeah, I'm nervous," he huffs, grabbing an apple, "do I look okay?" 

"Zayn, if there's ever a day you look bad, I'll be convinced the world is about to end," he says dryly, but honest anyway. 

Zayn snorts, smiling at him. "This is a big deal, you know? If this works out, I'll get to travel a little bit more and expand our investors. It's amazing."

"I know," Louis grins, "speaking of traveling, are you still going to Sheffield this weekend?" 

"Yeah, I am. Part of this meeting actually-- to expand and whatnot. Why?" he asks curiously. 

"No, nothing. We just wanted to decide what to do for Harry's birthday but we have some time before his birthday happens," Louis shrugs, sipping his coffee. 

"Great, we can talk about it when I'm back, yeah?" he pats Louis' back. "Wish me luck," he says, biting into his apple before grabbing his belongings. 

"Good luck!" he calls out as Zayn opens the door and then shuts it behind him once he's out. 

Louis huffs. He still does need to think about what to do for Harry for his birthday, and he can still do that this weekend by himself. 

____

On Friday, when Zayn leaves, he tells Louis that he has another date when he's back. 

"Oh, really?" Louis asks curiously. He genuinely happy that Zayn is moving on and doing his thing again. 

"Yeah, great guy," Zayn says with a soft smile, "I'm actually really into him so I'm hoping this goes well."

"Good. I'm glad," Louis says sincerely, "don't forget your toothbrush."

Zayn laughs, ruffling his hair. "I got it, mum, thanks," he says, "I'll see you Sunday evening, yeah?" 

Louis nods, hugging him goodbye. "I'll have your favourite food for you all ready," he says, grinning. 

Zayn laughs. "Thanks. You're the best," he pinches Louis cheek playfully and then he's off. 

___

On Saturday night Louis is pretty comfortable on his own, a glass of wine in his hand as he watches The Vow for the umpteenth time. It's one of his comfort movies that he'd never admit to anyone out loud. Well, Harry and Zayn know but Zayn found out by accident, to be fair. He'd walked in on Louis crying in his room, the movie playing on his laptop. He didn't judge, just slipped under the covers next to him and watched it too. With Harry, he told him willingly when Harry admitted that his comfort movie, aside from the horrors and thrillers and crime docs they both love, is also a romantic movie: The Notebook. 

He feels okay telling Harry anything, really. 

Speaking of Harry...

_ So I have this bottle of wine and I don't want to have it alone. Can I come over?  _

Is the message Louis reads from him. 

_ Come over. I have a bottle I need to finish too. We can help each other ;)  _

And God, was the winky face a bit too much? Was it too flirty? He sighs. He's overthinking everything lately. 

Halfway through the movie Harry arrives with said bottle of white wine and joins Louis on the couch, under the blankets. 

"I love both of them a lot," Louis says, looking at Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum, "talk about bisexual crisis."

Harry snorts. "Hey, can I ask: how did you know you were bi?" 

Louis shrugs. "I've always been attracted to all genders," he says, "never even questioned why, and one day I told my mum I had a girlfriend and the next week I had a boyfriend. She laughed about it and said that as long as I'm happy, she doesn't care. And then warned me not to be a dick."

Harry chuckles. "She sounds amazing." 

"Oh, yeah, she is. You should meet her some time. Hey, speaking of, when are your parents coming?" 

"Ugh, probably after my birthday," he pouts, drinking more of his wine. 

"How come?" Louis asks, turning towards him a little more. 

"Both still working and stuff," Harry shrugs, "but I can't wait for you to meet them too."

"Ah, I see. I look forward to it," Louis smiles, "tell me how you knew you were gay?" 

"I don't know," Harry puffs out air from his cheeks, "I just came home with a boy and he kissed me and I realized I liked it a lot because I'd been crushing on him the whole time." 

"The whole time?" 

"Yeah, I used to go to every one of his hockey games and I followed him around like a puppy and it didn't hit me that it was a crush until he kissed me, and I just didn't want it to end," Harry grins. 

"How old were you when this happened?" 

"Twelve," Harry giggles, drinking some more wine, "and James and I lasted for a whole year."

"Wow, you've always been one for long term relationships, huh?" Louis asks curiously as he has more wine. 

"I mean, I never really looked for it. As I got older that changed, actually." 

"What's the longest relationship you've ever been in then?" 

"Two years, three months," Harry says, a smile still on his face, "back in uni."

"Wow, that's-- wow," Louis says, impressed. 

"Yeah and the second longest is Zayn, actually," Harry says, seemingly just realizing it. 

"Oh," Louis says, drinking some more wine, "does it bother you then? God, I know I keep asking you but does him--" 

"--Moving on bothering me?" he finishes, raising a brow at him, "God, Louis, no. Not at all."

"Okay," he huffs, "Hey, let's finish this wine now." 

"Don't have to ask me twice," Harry says, gulping down the rest of his glass. 

An hour later, they were on their last glass of wine, movie long forgotten, giggling about something or another. 

"I'm happy for Zayn, really," Harry says, sighing, "I just…" 

"Just what?" Louis asks, moving closer. 

"Um, can I-- can I tell you a secret?" Harry whispers, then giggles, no doubt a cause from the amount of wine he had.

Louis laughs, the alcohol dancing through his veins, finding it the funniest thing in the world for some reason. "Tell me," he says. 

"I've been so fucking horny too," he says, giggling, "but I swear it's like no one wants to fuck me and I'm frustrated-- like sexually. "

Louis swallows, staring at him. "What do you mean?" 

"I mean, even when I went out just to get fucked, no one wanted me. What the fuck?" he pouts. 

"That's insane," he blurts out, "where the hell did you go?" 

"A club," he shrugs, the air suddenly getting thicker when he swallows, staring at Louis, "you'd... Want me, right?" 

Louis blinks, taken aback. Harry's face falls, their drunken laughter dissipating. The moment at New Years comes to mind. Then the moment in the club. Harry close to him, Louis' eyes on his lips, their bodies warm and pressed together, and how all Louis wanted to do was pull him closer. 

"Fuck, I don't know why I asked you that. I'm sorry. I didn't think a--" 

Louis places his glass down carelessly and presses his lips to Harry's without a second thought. He pulls away quickly though, heart racing because there's a reason why they can't do this.... Even though he's finding it hard to remember why right now. "Shit, I'm sorry. I don--" 

And then he's cut off by Harry kissing him. Harry places his glass down too and pushes closer to Louis, hands hesitant as they move over every part of Louis. Louis revels in the feeling of his lips, soft and wine stained, moving against his own. He doesn't think then. His inhibitions are low and he's too focused on how good this feels -- how right it feels -- to care about anything else.

Their kiss turns more frantic when their tongues meet, slick sounds turning slowly into soft moans until Harry pulls away, leaning his forehead against Louis'. Their eyes are both wide as they stare at each other, fire igniting in his bones, sour red grapes prominent on the tip of his tongue as he aches for more. 

"I wanna kiss you again," Louis says, voice croaky. Everything comes back to him once again -- New Years, the club, hell, maybe even before that. He has to do it. How the fuck did he wait so long to do it before this? 

Harry bites his dark red bottom lip and nods shortly. "Then do it." 

Louis does it again, this time more determined, placing one hand on his face and the other on his waist. It's heated and hot. Harry tastes amazing; addictive, really. In a swift movement he straddles Louis, thighs bracketing his hips. 

The movement takes him by surprise. Louis moans, placing his hands on Harry's thighs now instinctively, tentatively moving up until they're cupping his arse softly. Harry pulls back, moaning softly against his mouth. God, everything about this feels incredible -- otherworldly. 

"I want you," Harry breathes against his lips, moving against Louis' growing erection. Shit this is going so quickly. This is moving so fucking quickly. Fuck. Fuck. 

Louis groans, pulling him closer. "Fuck, okay," he sighs, despite himself, and the dozens and dozens of doubts swirling in his head masked by alcohol, squeezing Harry's thighs, "I would carry you but I'm pretty sure I'm going to fall if I try that right now."

Harry smiles, dimples popping. He gets up, already pulling his top off and walking up onto the podium to Louis' bedroom. 

Louis smirks, watching in awe, pushing himself off and following behind him until they're in the room. He locks the door behind himself, watching again in awe as Harry rids himself of his clothes quickly, like he's hungry for it. 

And God is he a sight for sore eyes. He's even more gorgeous without clothes on, chest and abs defined, biceps bulging, tiny waist, thick thighs and long legs that Louis would very much want wrapped around him. 

Harry grins, eyes full of mirth and lust, as he slowly pulls down his underwear, leaving him bare to see for Louis, standing at the foot of the bed, chest rising and falling rapidly. His cock is beautiful, hard and big, standing up against his toned stomach. He gives himself a few strokes and Louis hurries to pull his own hoodie off and then joggers, lurching forward to kiss him again. 

Harry moans, falling back onto the bed together, landing with a soft thud. He tangles his hands in Louis' hair as Louis grinds his clothed cock against his thigh. 

God, it feels amazing. Everything about this feels amazing. He really doesn't know how else to describe it. It's like he's been doing this for ages and has been starved of it for too long. Louis pulls up and stands on his knees. 

"Move up a bit, love," he says, not even realizing he used a pet name for Harry. It's fine, really, he always does anyways. 

Harry nods until his head is on the pillow, spreading his thighs open so Louis gets a view of everything. His hole is fluttering, beautiful and pink and his balls are drawn tight. 

"God, you're so beautiful," Louis breathes out, leaning over to kiss him again, this time softer, mind still hazy. 

"Louis, come on," he urges, against Louis' mouth, "fuck me."

Louis grunts, grinding down on his thigh. He pulls back and clumsily pulls off his underwear. He kisses Harry again, before blindly reaching into his nightstand for his lube and condoms. He probably ends up pulling out three or four condoms with the lube but he doesn't care. He unfortunately pulls up again to wet his fingers with the lube. 

Harry pulls his thighs up to his chest, almost like he's presenting himself for Louis to take. Louis curses under his breath, making sure his fingers are nice and wet before he pushes one into Harry. 

Harry throws his head back, mouth opened in a silent moan. Louis tests the waters a bit, movements slightly sloppy due to his drunken state. It's... Enthralling watching Harry's arse just take his finger in and out. 

He finds Harry's spot when he adds in another finger, making Harry arch off the bed. Louis watches his hole stretch as he opens Harry up. He scissors in the third finger, leaning down to suck a bruise on his neck. 

"Louis, fuck me. Please, fuck me," Harry whimpers, grip on his thighs loosening. 

Louis nods, pulling his fingers out slowly. Harry hisses, hole fluttering around nothing. Louis moans at the sight, stroking himself at how fucking hot that looks. 

"So big," Harry mewls, "you're gonna feel so good."

Louis scrambles to get the condom onto his cock. He wets it, hissing under his breath before lining up to Harry's hole. Louis picks up one of Harry's thighs, wrapping it around his hip and pushes the other up to his chest again. 

This is it. After this, there's no going back. 

Slowly, Louis pushes in. He watches Harry's mouth open, hands clutching the duvet tightly, head thrown back. 

"So tight, fuck," Louis says, pushing in even further, watching Harry's body take him in. "You okay, love?" 

Harry is still breathing heavily. He nods. "Feels good," he slurs. 

"Yeah?" Louis asks, voice strained as he pushes in the rest of the way until he's bottomed out, hips flushed against his arse. 

"Oh, God," Harry's right hand goes up to punch his nipple, grinding down on Louis' cock. God he's filthy. 

Louis pulls out and thrusts back in, knocking a breath out of him. And God, it feels good. It feels so fucking good. He hasn't fucked anyone in a while but this is another level of good. 

Already high on the feeling, he leans over Harry again, breathing into his mouth as he fucks into him, hard and fast, one of Harry's thighs locked between them while the other is around his waist, heel digging into his arse. 

"Yes, God," Harry moans, eyes squeezed shut, "harder, Louis."

Louis obliges, gripping the headboard behind him to speed up his thrusts, balls slapping against his arse in quick successions. Harry rakes his nails down Louis' back, hole clenching around Louis.

"Close?" he asks, forehead against Harry's.

Harry nods, momentarily opening his eyes to look straight into Louis' and fuck, it's heavenly, seeing the thin green ring around his darkened pupils. 

"Louis," he exhales, one hand coming up to cup his face, fingers threading into his hair, pulling at the strands. 

Louis kisses him softly, Harry biting his bottom lip as he pulls away. Louis thrusts in and out hard, slightly sloppy, Harry moving a little further up on the pillow, curls sweaty. He reaches down with one hand, pulling Harry off. He strokes Harry three times before Harry's hand tightens in his hair and he moans loudly, releasing over Louis' hand and both of their tummies. 

His hole clenches around Louis impossibly tightly, his thrusts stuttering. He tucks his face into Harry, riding out his orgasm, fucking into him slowly as he comes into the condom. Harry whimpers as Louis pulls out, collapsing next to him. 

___

It doesn't hit him until the next morning. Harry is next to him and Louis can tell he's awake. He bites his lip, head throbbing a bit. 

"I know you're awake," Harry says finally, voice deep and raspy. 

Louis lets out a breath. He pushes himself up and pulls the duvet off his body, getting up, ignoring the throb in his head. 

"Louis, you can't just go away," Harry says, voice higher as he gets up. 

Louis looks at him for the first time since last night, after he came around Louis' cock. He looks so good in the morning light, cheeks puffy and eyes droopy. And it doesn't help. Fuck. 

"Harry, last night should have never happened," Louis finally finds his voice, albeit a shaky one, "it was a mistake, okay?" 

Harry's shoulders sag. "I know it shouldn't have happened," he wipes a hand over his face, "but you can't just go-- this is your home!" 

"Mine and Zayn's," he hisses, "fuck, I can't believe I did this."

He sits down on the bed again, running a hand through his hair. Zayn, his best fucking friend. Fucking fuck. 

"I'm sorry," Harry mumbles, "I was so... I practically begged you to fuck me, God I'm so embarrassed."

Louis turns to him, shaking his head. "You didn't do anything more than I did, Harry. But we were both drunk. This can never happen again, okay?" 

Harry nods quickly. "Fuck, I know. Please don't tell Zayn. It's just going to cause issues and I-- I don't want that. It won't happen again so he doesn't need to know."

Louis nods. "I won't tell him." 

He can't tell him. How the fuck do you tell your best friend that you've slept with their ex? It's weird. He can't do that. They'll just sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened. That's all. 

"I should go," Harry says after a while, body shuffling over the sheets. Louis can hear him putting his clothes back on and he pointedly does not look anywhere near Harry's direction while he does So only then realising he himself is completely naked too. 

Quickly, he finds his discarded boxers on the floor and pulls them on. When he stands, Harry is dressed in his trousers, shoes in his hand and shirt inside out. Louis doesn't bother pointing it out. 

"I'm-- I'm so sorry," Harry breathes out, hand on the doorknob. "I didn't come here and expect that to happen, you have to know that." 

"I know," Louis shakes his head, looking at him reluctantly. As soon as their eyes meet, Louis feels that fire in his veins again. "I'm sorry too. We really shouldn't have done this." 

"I don't want this to affect us, Louis," Harry says quietly. And all Louis can hear is him moaning Louis' name. 

"I don't either," Louis sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Fuck, can we just-- can we just pretend that didn't happen?" 

Harry's gaze falls to the floor. He sighs heavily. "Would that make it okay?" 

"Nothing will make what we did okay," Louis says sadly. 

Harry visibly swallows. "We can pretend it didn't happen then. I'm-- I'm really sorry."

"Don't apologize, H," he says softly, "this wasn't just your fault. I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Harry shakes his head, "last night was a momentary lapse of judgment, right?" 

Louis nods in agreement. "Yes. That's all it was."

Though his heart stutters in his chest and a lump forms in his throat as he says so. But he can't pay attention to that. 

"Okay," Harry takes a deep breath, "Okay, I'm gonna see you later today at the pub and we'll look at each other and hug each other like we've been doing, because none of this happened, right?" 

Louis continues to nod. "Yes," he says. He's more panicked than anything right now so he doesn't care about anything else he's feeling. 

"Okay," he says once again, "I'll... See you later then?" 

Louis, once again, nods. "Bye, Harry," he says quietly. 

Harry looks at him one last time before he opens the door and walks out. Louis doesn't make a move to go out until he hears the front door shut too. Once he does, he heads straight to the bathroom, stripping his boxers off and scrubbing himself till his skin is red through thick tears and heavy sobs. 

He's officially the biggest scum of the earth. 

____

They pretend, and it's hard. It's hard because Louis can't stop thinking about him. He can't stop thinking about kissing him, about touching him. It's fucking hell. And when Zayn comes back after the weekend and they're all together, it's insufferable. 

Louis is on edge for everything, so is Harry. They play a game of Uno during the week and Zayn playfully accuses Harry of cheating after he wins. Harry freaks the hell out. 

"I didn't fucking cheat," he hisses, getting up from his chair, "how can you say that? I didn't!" 

"Harry," Zayn says, looking apologetic, "Hey, calm down, I didn't mean to offend you like that. It's just a game of cards."

Harry is breathing heavily before he lets out a small whimper and leaves to the bathroom. Zayn, Niall and Liam just look at each other, confused, then at Louis. Louis swallows, getting up too.

"I'll go check on him," Louis announces before following Harry's steps. He knocks on the bathroom door. 

"Harry," he calls out, "it's me, please open." 

It only takes a minute for him to open the door and let Louis in. Once Louis is in, he takes in Harry's figure and sighs sadly. He's crying. 

"H, what happened?" Louis asks quietly. 

"I'm not a cheater," Harry sobs into his sleeve. 

"You're not," Louis says firmly, "you're not-- you guys broke up. You didn't cheat on him, H." 

Harry sniffs. "Then why do I feel like shit?" he asks with a huff, sitting down on the toilet seat. 

Louis sighs too, sitting on the bathtub edge adjacent to him. "I feel like shit too." 

"What do we do?" Harry asks. "I know he's with someone else and he's happy and we've moved on but it feels icky."

"You think part of it is because we're pretending it didn't happen?" Louis asks. 

Harry nods slowly. "Maybe."

"So what do you want to do about it then?" Louis asks. 

"I don't know," Harry sighs, "I guess it's going to take time to… Forget about it."

Louis gulps. "Yeah, I guess so."

Harry grabs some of the tissue from the sink counter and wipes his nose. He looks hopelessly endearing. 

"Hey," Louis calls out softly. 

Harry looks at him. 

"Come here," Louis says, opening his arms. Harry shifts on the seat, hugging Louis tightly. 

"I'm sorry I put you in this awkward position," Harry mumbles. 

"Harry, you didn't. It's fine. We both did what we did willingly, albeit intoxicated," he huffs, pulling away. 

"Yeah," he wipes his cheeks again. 

"Come on, let's go out. Zayn looks like a kicked puppy," he laughs softly. 

Harry smiles, small. He gets up and follows Louis back outside. When he's back, Zayn pulls Harry into a hug and apologizes for offending him. Harry looks like he's going to cry again. 

Louis makes sure he's looking away the whole time. 

____

It doesn't get that much easier and Louis isn't sure why. Well, he knows that he can't stop thinking about Harry, still. For Harry's birthday, his parents ended up surprising him so they don't do anything together and Louis is left feeling bittersweet about it. 

On one hand, he doesn't have to see Harry, which means he doesn't have to be reminded of what they did, and he doesn't have to see the way Harry looks at him, like he's pleading for Louis to give him answers about something. 

On the other, he misses him. It's only two days that he doesn't see Harry but he misses him. And the other boys seem to notice it too. 

"You two have become too codependant," Niall complains, "we'll see him for the weekend."

Louis doesn't mention that he was also supposed to meet Harry's parents. Not that it's supposed to mean anything, really. He's just meant to be a friend of Harry's, introduced just like he would for Niall and Liam. But they're not seeing them anymore and it's fine. It's okay. 

When they do see him for his birthday, they have a small gathering at the pub downstairs. When he's hugging Harry again and wishing him in person, he realizes he lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. 

He also realizes that-- "I didn't get you a present," he says, pulling away.

"It's fine. I didn't get you anything either," Harry says with a small smile, "I don't need a gift." 

Louis smiles, a little shaky, as he steps away. 

"So had fun with the parents?" Niall asks, leading Harry to sit down and handing him a plastic tiara. 

Harry looks at it in amusement before placing it on his head happily. "It was good, yeah. I missed them. What did I miss with you guys though?" 

Louis takes a seat next to Zayn on one end of the booth, Harry in the middle. "Louis got laid," Zayn blurts out. 

Louis almost chokes on his drink. Harry's smile falls, eyes meeting Louis'. "What?" 

"I didn't," he squeaks. 

"He didn't." Zayn's resolve finally cracks, grinning mischievously. 

Louis lets out a breath, shaking his head. Harry lets out a nervous laugh. 

"Well, I mean, I did," Niall chimes in, shrugging. 

"You're in a year long relationship, Niall. It hardly counts," Liam rolls his eyes, "anyways, let's celebrate you turning twenty-nine, yeah? Only one good year left."

"Liam, shut up," Zayn huffs, "he has plenty of good years left if those dimples are anything to go by."

Harry blushes a little. Louis' stomach churns. He also laughs nervously. "Yeah, what are you trying to say, Payno? You're turning thirty this year, Zayn and I are already thirty-one, Niall is turning thirty. What's wrong with that?" 

"Nothing, I guess," Liam says, raising his hands in defence, "it's just something people told me about turning thirty."

"Whatever, you're still young," Zayn says, "and Harry is the baby of the group."

"Yet somehow the tallest," Niall hums, snorting at the end. 

Harry grins. "That means nothing. When I cuddle and hug and shit, I'll make myself smaller to be held." 

Louis knew that from hugging him. He wishes he knew that from cuddling him. 

"That is true," Zayn says with a small smile. 

Of course Zayn knew about both. Harry is a very affectionate person and Louis' seen them a bit too loved up one time too many. It never bothered him before, but today it makes him almost want to grimace, and that's so fucked up. They dated and there's nothing wrong with that. What's wrong is Louis sleeping with Zayn's ex boyfriend eight and a half months after they broke up. Surely the timing also makes it worse, right? It hasn't even been a year yet. 

"Okay, what do we say we cut that cake and order a round of champagne?" Niall asks, changing the subject. 

"Yes, please," Harry sighs, smiling. 

Throughout the rest of the night, Harry's eyes catch Louis' constantly. They exchange soft looks and private smiles and for a moment, Louis thinks they could be okay. They'll work through it and weeks from now, everything will be okay. 

___

Weeks do pass by and yes, they're okay with each again, as in they can be around one another without feeling like either of them is going to spontaneously combust. They eventually talk again like before, they hug for longer like before, they make their inside jokes around the others-- they're okay. 

Though they do try to avoid hanging out alone together. Their daily coffee shop meet ups don't happen anymore, which Louis understands because honestly, while they're finding a way to be okay with each other again as friends, Louis still feels so drawn to him. He still feels fire in his bones if he so much as brushes his hand against Harry's. Louis still feels so much, and it scares the fuck out of him. 

His behavior, once again, doesn't go unnoticed by Liam and Niall. They bring up one day while they're talking about work and finances and some other shit Louis zoned out of minutes ago. 

"Mate, what's been going on with you?" Liam finally asks, sighing. 

Louis blinks, taken aback. "Huh?" 

"You haven't been yourself for a few weeks now. What's happened? Did you have a row or something with your family?" Niall asks. 

Louis shakes his head. "No, I, um-- it's just stuff at uni that's stressing me out. Sorry I've been a bummer about it." 

Liam looks at him, sympathy in his eyes. "You know you can talk to us, right?" 

Louis smiles gratefully. "I know. It's something I have to sort out on my own though."

Niall narrows his eyes a bit at him, exhaling. "Maybe you need to let loose a bit, yeah? We should go out soon, maybe you can get laid. When last did you even get laid?" 

Louis swallows. "Um, yeah, it's been a while..." he lies. 

It's been almost two months and Louis still can't stop thinking about him. 

"Great, I've been telling Harry the same thing," Liam says, "Zayn has been doing okay in that department but it seems like Harry might need a little help." 

"Yeah, I agree. I think he too looks like he could use some good old fashioned sex," Niall says. 

"Maybe I can invite my friend Chris when we go out? He met Harry at my office once, when Harry picked up something for me and he's always asked about him." Liam shrugs. 

Louis' grip on the glass tightens, jaw clenching. 

"Oh yeah that'd be great," Niall agrees easily, "want me to set you up with someone too?" 

Louis shakes his head. "No, I'll be fine. Maybe you should ask Harry before you set him up with someone though."

"We will, of course," Liam says, almost scoffing. 

"Right," he gives them a tight smile before drinking some of his beer. 

They go back to talking about mundane shit after that, and Louis tries his best to add to the conversation this time, trying to get his mind off the fact that he may have to get used to seeing Harry with other people now. 

___

Louis is taking the day off one day to catch up with some marking towards the end of the semester while the students write, when Harry stops by around lunch time. 

Louis is surprised to see him since, you know, they don't really hang out alone much anymore. He lets Harry in with a smile on his face though. 

"What are you doing here?" he asks. 

"Oh, I got you a gift for your birthday, finally," he grins, holding out a gift bag.

Louis accepts it with a curious smile. He opens up the bag, discarding it to the side, eyes widening as he pulls out the item from the tissue paper. 

"Holy shit. You got me an Iron Man helmet signed by The Robert Downey Jr.?" Louis asks, breathing shaky as he looks at black scrawled writing on the helmet. 

"Yeah, I know it's late but," Harry shrugs, "I couldn't tell what to get you. You like it, right?" 

Louis lets out a laugh of disbelief. Without a second thought he leaps forward, kissing him square on the mouth. The action takes both of them by surprise. They've been walking on eggshells around each other since that fateful night (as dramatic as that sounds) and Louis just can't ignore it anymore. He's been trying. It's all built up and it was only a matter of time before Louis burst. 

But that doesn't mean he isn't scared. Quickly, he pulls away. "Sorry," he says, breathing rapidly. He's just so overwhelmed lately and the only thing that makes sense to him is Harry. 

"You kissed me again," Harry says, touching his bottom lip gingerly. 

"I'm sorry, I know. I know things have been weird and we agreed to not do that again but I-- fuck... I'm sorry I--" 

"Shut up for a second," Harry says, this time he leaps forward and joins their lips again. It's different this time. Before this, they were drunk and it was fast and heated. This time, it's slower, though just as passionate. Louis can feel every groove in his mouth, every lick of his tongue. 

"What are we doing?" Louis asks, suddenly remembering that even though this feels right, it isn't. That's why they agreed not to do it again. Right. 

"Does it have to mean something?" Harry asks a few seconds of silence, pulling away, searching his eyes dubiously. 

"What do you mean? Zayn is still my best friend, H," Louis says, pulling away even more. 

"I-- I know," Harry sighs, running a hand through his hair, "I just-- Louis, you can't deny you feel something, right? I can't be the only one?" 

“You're not," he confirms, wiping a hand over his face, “but we agreed that it would never happen again, remember?" 

"I know, but there's a pull, isn't there?" Harry says, walking closer to him. "I just... Haven't been able to stop thinking about you."

Louis sighs, putting the Iron Man helmet -- a fucking Iron Man helmet signed by RDJ Jr. -- on the table. "I haven't stopped thinking about you either," he admits quietly. 

"Then what do we do?" Harry asks, sitting down at the table, "I know, I know I have a history with Zayn but I can't help but be drawn to you, Louis."

Louis squeezes his eyes shut. "I know," he huffs, "I know that and... I don't know."

"It doesn't have to mean anything," Harry suggests again after a while, "we have chemistry and there's... Sexual tension here, you know that. We don't-- it doesn't have to mean anything?" 

Louis regards him carefully. "So what? We just... Do things together?" he swallows. "It doesn't have to mean anything more than that?" 

"Yeah, I-- we're adults, right? We can have a casual sexual relationship without having it mean anything more." 

Louis considers it. He really does. If it's purely sexual or casual then it's not... That deep, right? 

He shakes his head. "Harry, I can't deny I feel something for you and that night we spent together was amazing but we can't," he says, voice cracking a bit. 

Harry visibly swallows, getting up. He wipes his hand over his face. "Again, very embarrassed," he mumbles, sighing, "I'm just going to go." 

"Harry, you don't have to do that," Louis says, grabbing his wrist. 

Their eyes meet. "I do," he says with a sad smile, "I know that this is... Wrong, but it doesn't feel wrong and I'm just-- I'm confused and I need some time, okay?" 

Louis sighs. He nods, letting go of his wrist. "I'm sorry," he says regrettably. 

"I get it," Harry shakes his head, "um, I'll see you soon, yeah?" 

Louis nods, attempting for a smile. Harry chews on his bottom lip, turning around and walking away. 

Louis sighs as the door shuts behind him. He drops down onto the chair and rubs his temples. He was barely in here for fifteen minutes and they couldn't even resist the urge to jump each other's bones. 

He truly doesn't know how these feelings -- these urges -- are going to go away. 

____ 

Louis finds out that the day they decide to go to the club that Liam did in fact invite his friend Chris as well, in hopes of setting him and Harry up. He's even more surprised that Harry agreed to it. 

And he's not jealous. He's not. They're not doing anything together because it's wrong and that's that. 

But, as they're drinking and the night goes on, Louis is pretty sure Harry is trying to make him jealous. Chris -- or Christopher as he introduces himself as -- is around Liam's height, he has blue eyes and shaggy strawberry blonde hair. 

He's also obnoxiously loud and arrogant. He does this weird thing where he has to add some "interesting fact" to anything someone says. Literally anything. And he finds the need to correct everyone's mistakes. 

For example, Zayn made a comment about how his new boyfriend (yes, they're apparently boyfriends now) has the flu and Christopher made sure to correct him because his boyfriend didn't have the flu, he had the cold -- there was a difference. 

Zayn brushes it off and Harry doesn't react. Louis rolls his eyes. Then Christopher asks Harry to join him at the bar and Harry makes sure to look straight at Louis when he nods, getting up and following Christopher. 

When they're seated at the bar is when Louis knows for sure that Harry is trying to make him jealous. 

They're facing each other and as the minutes go by, Christopher's hand moves to his thigh and Harry places his own hand on top of his. As he does So he makes sure to find Louis' eyes too. Louis frowns. 

Then Christopher leans over, practically into his neck, saying something that makes Harry laugh. Christopher's hand moves further up his thigh and his face lingers at where it is between Harry's shoulder and head. 

He widens his eyes and turns away from the sight. It's torture because he knows what it feels like to be that close to him now. He knows what it's like to kiss his neck. Hell, he knows what's like to be inside of him, hear him moan, feel his soft skin under the pads of his fingertips. 

He feels jealousy running through his veins, burning and hot. That guy -- Christopher whatever -- gets to touch him like that, gets to put his hand on Harry's thigh and lean in so close to him in front of their friends and Harry is letting him. 

Because, well, he can. They kissed twice, they fucked and they decided to not do anything about it, not once, but twice. So what the fuck does Louis expect Harry to do? There's going to be more of this; more Christophers that their friends will try and set him up with, that he'll meet randomly at some club, and Louis won't be able to do a damn thing about it. 

"Looks like they're getting along," Liam comments with a grin at Zayn. Louis grimaces. 

The worst part is that he knows Harry is doing it to make Louis jealous and it's working. He keeps looking over whenever Christopher leans over to whisper something else in his ear or when his hand moves across his thigh. It's still there. 

"Fuck," Louis curses under his breath. He knows he wants this and Harry does too. And like Harry said, it doesn't have to mean anything, right? As long as there's no feelings involved, it's not really that deep and while it's still not right, it's not entirely wrong since they'd just be fucking anyway. He doesn't feel anything more, does he? 

There's an obvious pull, chemistry, magnetic energy -- whatever you want to call it -- between them. Harry is right, and Louis can't ignore it. Is he supposed to sit back and watch this happen all the time and be okay with it? What would Harry do if Louis was set up with someone again, or if he'd meet someone at a club? Louis can almost guarantee that he'd be just as jealous. 

"So you going to pull tonight?" Liam asks, swinging an arm around his shoulders. 

Louis sips on his mojito grumpily. He shrugs. He could do that, maybe make Harry jealous like he's doing to Louis, but fuck, this shit is so childish, isn't it? They're clearly into each other and they're grown ass adults. They can do whatever the fuck they want. Besides, Zayn is seemingly really into this new boyfriend of his, so who the hell cares, really? 

Boosted by the alcohol, Louis finishes off his mojito, determined to be the one to go home with Harry tonight. He's by no means drunk and he knows Harry isn't either, so he'll get to feel and touch and taste everything so much better this time. The ghost of their kiss still lingers over Louis' lips. 

"I'm going to go join Niall, yeah? There's this cute girl that he's trying to hook me up with," Liam says into his ear. 

Louis nods. "Go get her, Payno. Be respectful!" 

He honestly didn't even know when Niall left to go somewhere else, or where this cute girl came from. Or where Zayn went for that matter. 

Liam pinches his cheek and walks away, down the podium where their booth is and to Niall. Louis straightens his spine before getting up, making sure his friends are distracted before walking towards Harry with determined steps. Harry notices from over the guy's shoulder, a twinkle in his eye when Louis' jaw clenches, but his Adam's apple bobs in his throat too. 

Louis smiles sweetly at Christopher when he reaches Harry, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Hi again," he says, "sorry to disturb this riveting flirt fest but I need to see Harry for a moment."

Christopher frowns, looking Louis up and down. "We're kind of in the middle of something here, bud. So maybe another time?" 

"I'm afraid this can't wait,  _ bud _ ," Louis says, still smiling. He grabs Harry's forearm to tug him gently to get up, "thanks for understanding!" 

He doesn't bother looking at Christopher's reaction. Harry gets up, following Louis, and Louis looks around to see Liam and Niall still occupied with their respective women. Satisfied, Louis holds onto Harry's arm as they head into the bathroom.

"Louis, what are you--" 

He kisses Harry, hot and heavy, backing him against the door, resting his hands on Harry's waist, pulling him impossibly close. 

Harry moans, grabbing at Louis' jumper, fisting the material in his hands as their tongues meet messily. "Louis," he gasps when Louis' mouth meets his neck, suckling the skin, teeth scraping the surface lightly. "Louis, fuck, wait--" he breathes out, pushing Louis back a bit. 

"Sorry, I saw you with him and I..." he swallows, lips still feeling raw, "I didn't want him to go home with you."

Harry searches his eyes. "I know," he gives Louis a small smile, "but I don't want to just do this again while we're drunk. I meant what I said about this just being us… Fucking," he swallows, "need to know you want this too but not only when you're drunk." 

"I'm not drunk," he says honestly, "I only had one shot and a mojito. I'm buzzed but I'm definitely not drunk." 

Harry swallows, breath still warm over Louis' lips. "I know this is weird and it's harder with Zayn -- fuck, do I know. But I can't resist you. I see you and I just want you so much, fuck," he almost gasps when Louis kisses him again. 

"As long as there's no feelings involved, it doesn't have to mean anything which is technically not wrong, right?" Louis asks, pulling away. He's half convincing himself but he doesn't care. This right here, with Harry, just makes sense. What's worse anyway, fucking your best friend's ex or falling in love with them? Louis can guarantee its the latter and that's not happening.

Harry nods. "It's fine," he says, also sounding like he's half convincing himself, "now, please kiss me again." 

Louis obliges, pushing away any guilt he felt because it's just-- it's another type of feeling kissing Harry, being so close to him, touching him, hearing him moan. He's a drug and Louis is addicted already and he's pretty sure Harry feels the same way about him. 

There's no going back now for sure. Louis knows this is a decision they're both willingly making and they have to deal with it accordingly. He's tired of denying anything he's feeling for Harry. As long as there's no feelings involved, it doesn't matter, right? It doesn't. 

___

"So Chris says you left him hanging at the club this weekend," Liam frowns, "what happened? Both of you disappeared." 

Slightly panicked, Harry and Louis look at each other. "Um, we were both feeling unwell So uh, we took a taxi and went home," Louis explains. 

"Yeah, and Christopher was a bit of a dick," Harry adds, "he didn't really want me to go with Louis." 

"Did he know you were feeling sick?" Liam asks, frowning. 

"Um, no, so... I guess he isn't really a dick. Sorry," Harry's cheeks turn red. He grabs his beer and takes a long gulp. 

"Oh. Well, it's a shame you two didn't work out but it's okay, we'll find someone else," Liam smiles, totally oblivious. 

Louis sips his drink, eyes meeting Harry's again. This is probably going to be the hardest part; hiding shit from their friends. But when Harry gives him a private smile and rests a hand on Louis' thigh under the table, he finds his worries disappearing, just like that. 

  
  
  



	2. 2

It's weird because Louis thought that fucking without anyone knowing would make it more stressful for him but it doesn't. Not particularly. When he's with Harry, nothing else matters. And maybe that's a bit much for friends with benefits -- because that's what they're calling it now apparently -- but it feels right. 

He can't stress that point enough. Everything feels right with Harry. Sure, the past two months haven't been easy and there have been times where they'd almost gotten caught, but they haven't yet so... That's good? 

One time they'd made out in the stall of the bathroom at the pub and they'd heard Niall walk in, whistling. He didn't notice them but his heart fell to his arse because he could have easily caught them since he knew both of them excused themselves to the loo. 

Even if it isn't a good thing, he can't really focus on that right now, not with Harry riding him like this. He looks heavenly above Louis, mouth parted, bouncing on his cock, eyes squeezed shut, one hand on Louis' chest and the other on the headboard. 

Louis squeezes his arse and fucks up into him, making his rhythm falter a little, whimpering. He opens his eyes when Louis does it again, clenching around him. 

"Fuck," Louis groans, grinding against him. 

"Louis," Harry moans beautifully. 

"Yeah, love?" Louis breathes, Harry's hips moving in little circles, driving Louis insane. 

"Don't want it to end," Harry sighs, gasping when Louis thrusts up and hits his prostate. 

"I know," Louis thrusts up again, right into his spot, just to watch his chest develop a blush pink. 

"Come closer," Harry says, looking at him again. 

Louis obliges, shifting a bit on his elbows so he's sitting up, adjusting Harry on his lap. He runs his lips over Harry's lips, then to his jaw and finally landing on his neck, suckling the skin softly as Harry starts to bounce again. He tightens his hand in Louis' hair. 

"Louis," he moans, light and airy. 

"Harry," he moans back, gripping his bum again to pull him close, Harry's cock rubbing between their stomachs. 

"So close," Harry whimpers, mouth parted again. 

"Me too," Louis says, the feeling of Harry clenching around his cock as he comes down onto it is enough to bring him close to an orgasm. 

He reaches for Harry's cock between them, tangling his own fingers with his other hand into Harry's sweaty curls to pull him in for a kiss, stroking his cock. 

Their tongues dance messily, his cock leaking precome as he moans into Louis' mouth. Louis bites his bottom lip and Harry pulls away, throwing his head back, bounces becoming frantic as he reaches his climax. 

Louis lets go of his hair and reaches down to tweak his nipple, making him release immediately all over Louis' hand and onto both of their stomachs.

Louis curses. Harry's bouncing stops so he flips them so that Harry is underneath him, head hanging slightly off the bed. 

"Come on, use me," Harry says, chest falling and rising rapidly. 

Louis does as told and drives his hips into Harry's hole. Harry winds his legs around Louis, shifting more and more off the bed as Louis thrusts into him. It takes him four to finally release into the condom, biting onto Harry's shoulder as he does so. 

Harry' squeaks then moans, thighs shaking as he drops them to the bed again. 

Louis slowly moves off him and onto the bed next to him, breathing heavily. 

"Always amazing with you," Harry says, looking at him. 

Louis smiles back. "Yeah, same to you, love."

"I'm going to be late," Harry sighs. 

"Worth it though, right?" Louis asks, leaning up onto his elbow and turning to face him. 

"Riding you is always worth it," he replies cheekily, turning to face Louis. 

Louis leans down to kiss him softly, Harry's hand cupping his face gently. He feels his body ignite, though he's trying his best to ignore the intensity of it. He's pretty sure that's not normal for a friends with benefits type of arrangement. But whatever. 

"Can I come over tomorrow?" Louis asks, "we can watch a movie and... You know," he wiggles his brows. 

Harry snorts. "God, Louis. You know we don't have to have sex every time we see each other." 

"I know," Louis smiles, kissing him, "let's just watch a movie then?" 

"Yeah, okay," Harry agrees, kissing him again, "Hey, um, did you know Liam is trying to set me up with someone else again?" 

Louis frowns. "Really? He hasn't tried with me at all. Well, aside from before we went to that club." 

"Huh," Harry frowns, "maybe he feels sorry for me because to him, Zayn has moved on with this new guy and I haven't even gone on a date with anyone else yet."

Louis hums. "Well, how about you tell Liam you have a date next weekend and you and I can just hang out at your place, just to get him off your back for a bit?" 

Harry searches his eyes, an emotion flashing over them that Louis doesn't pick up on. "Like, a date between us?" 

"Or maybe that's a stupid idea," Louis retracts quickly, "never mind."

"No, I would love to," Harry says,"I mean to be fair, we kind of do that already, don't we? Hang out together alone and make some excuse to tell the boys." 

Louis smiles, a little sadly. He's right. "Yeah, you have a point. But at least this time, you'll get Liam off your back too." 

Harry nods, kissing him again. "Thank you, I like that idea. Anything to spend time with you," he says with a small smile, "I should go now."

"Right," Louis sighs, kissing his cheek, "I'll see you later then?" 

Harry nods. "Yeah, I won't stay for long though. Have an early morning again tomorrow."

"Okay," Louis resists the urge to pout, "bye, love." 

Harry pulls on his clothes quickly, kissing him one more time. "Bye, Lou."

_____

They have their not-a-date at Harry's place and cuddle close, watching scary videos from YouTube-- the best kind according to Harry. It's odd, this thing that they do. They hang out as friends, sure, but do friends cuddle like this? Do they exchange kisses every now and then throughout their not-a-date? Is that a normal thing for friends with benefits?

Louis has never had a friends with benefits relationship before but he's pretty sure this isn't a normal thing for that sort of relationship. He doesn't really question it though because he likes what they have. It's just… Them.

"Holy fucking shit, what the fuck is that?" Harry gasps, bringing the blanket up to his nose, hiding behind it.

Louis blinks out of his thoughts, focusing back on the TV. He widens his eyes at the sight in front of him. Some guy left a camera unattended on the floor and now some-- something is blocking it, hair covering most of the lens and eyes staring right into it.

"Oh my god," Louis hides his face into Harry's hair, waiting with his heart in throat to see what happens next.

The... Thing leaves abruptly and the owner of the camera retrieves it like nothing happened.

"Is this real, or all just an elaborate hoax?" the commentator asks.

"Verdict?" Louis asks, looking at Harry again.

Harry shakes his head, letting out a heavy exhale. "That was wild. It could be a hoax but holy shit."

"I think it was real," Louis declares.

Harry rolls his eyes, a smile on his face. "You think everything is real."

"And you think everything supernatural is just, 'some homeless person'," he scoffs.

"It could be!" he fights back. "They all look too real to be ghosts or whatever."

It's Louis' turn to roll his eyes this time. "How does that even make sense? Aren't ghosts supposed to look real and that's what freaks you out in the first place?"

Harry frowns, grumbling under his breath. Louis snorts.

"You really don't like losing an argument, do you?" he asks, poking his side.

Harry squirms away, pouting. "No one said I lost. Maybe I'm just taking pity on you because I'm tired of this conversation and don't want you to lose."

Louis lets out a surprised laugh. "Wow, look at you being all cheeky," he pokes his side again, this time Harry smiling when he does it.

"Stop," he whines, batting Louis' hand away.

"Someone is very ticklish," Louis says with a mischievous grin, moving closer, hands already reaching out to tickle his sides.

"Louis, for fucks sake if you--"

He doesn't get a chance to finish his sentence as Louis attacks him with his fingers wiggling into his sides, Harry squealing and shifting back, away from Louis' touch.

Louis corners him against the arm of the sofa though, Harry falling onto his back as Louis' fingers make their way into his armpits. Harry giggles, squirming away from Louis.

"Louis, stop," he whines, "I'm gonna wee!"

Louis stops, pulling his hands back. "Sorry but that was too fun," Louis says, leaning over him and placing a kiss on his nose.

Harry wipes it away, scrunching his nose. "Gross," he says.

"I've had my tongue in your arse and you've kissed me afterwards, but  _ that's _ gross?" he deadpans.

Harry grins, nodding. Then, he reaches out with that bloody big tongue of his and licks a stripe over Louis' nose. Louis leans back on his haunches, wiping his nose furiously with his jumper.

"Harry, what the fuck?" he whines.

Harry cackles. "See! I told you it feels gross."

"I kissed you, you fucking licked my face," Louis pouts, rubbing his nose, the sensation still tingling.

"Sorry," he says, covering his mouth to hide his giggles. He's not sorry. "I can give you a real kiss and make up for it?" he asks, batting his eyelashes.

Louis scowls at him. "I don't know. That was pretty gross," he murmurs.

"I've had my tongue in your arse and you've kissed me afterwards and that was gross?" he mocks.

Louis snorts, shaking his head. "I'll let you kiss me on one condition."

"What?" Harry asks, spreading his legs open wider where Louis is between them.

"You never do that again."

Harry laughs. "Fine, I won't. Do you still insist on those bloody nose kisses?"

"Yes, because they're cute," he protests, "all of my other partners liked it."

Harry's smile falls. "Well, good for them. Maybe you should go and kiss them."

Louis smirks. "Are you jealous?" he asks, watching Harry look at the TV again, adjusting the blanket over him where it's half fallen onto the floor.

"No, why would I be jealous?" Harry says, though there's a pout still evident on his lips. 

Louis rolls his eyes fondly. He leans over Harry, kissing his cheek. "You do realize I'm with you right now and not them, right?" 

Harry sighs, looking up at him. "Not with me, really," he mumbles. 

"Yeah I know, but I'm literally on top of you, kissing you," he says, smiling. 

Harry smiles back. "Kissing my nose," he amends. 

Louis connects their lips softly. "Kissing you," he says against his mouth. 

Harry hums in content, kissing him back, cupping his face. "Kissing me," he mumbles back. 

Before their tongues could meet, Harry pulls away, a furrow between his brows. Louis raises his own in question. 

"Um, I just wanted to ask... If Zayn and I never um, dated, do you think you and I could have been, like, together-together right now?" Harry asks curiously, searching his eyes.

Louis inhales sharply because the question takes him by surprise, coming out nowhere essentially, but he doesn't hesitate before nodding. "I think we would have," he says.

"So much for no emotions involved, huh? I'm getting jealous, admitting we would actually be together if circumstances were different..."

"I know, I guess calling it something like friends with benefits takes away the substance from it, makes it easier for us to deal with... You know, the guilt and stuff," he mumbles, collapsing onto Harry's chest.

Harry sighs, running his fingers through Louis' hair. "Either one of us can yeet out of this if we need to, okay?"

Louis chuckles, resting his chin on Harry's chest, looking up at him. "Yeet?"

"Yeah, is that not how you use that word?" he asks, frowning.

Louis shakes his head fondly. "You're something else, aren't you?" he asks, kissing the center on his chest. "Did I ever tell you your pecs look like tits?"

Harry barks out a laugh, chest rumbling underneath him. "Gee, thanks?"

"It's a good thing," Louis smirks, "it's hot."

"The fact that I look like I have tits is hot to you?" he asks slowly. "Should I be worried?"

"No," Louis waves him off, "it's hot because it's on you, not because I, like, find women more attractive and this is my weird way of showing it or whatever."

Harry smiles gently. "Didn't say that, love."

Louis leans over him again, resting his hands on either side of his head. "Well, that's what a lot of people would think, I guess. Biphobia and all."

He smiles sadly. "That sucks. Thanks for complimenting my tits then."

Louis grins, leaning down to kiss him softly. "Thanks for appreciating my bum then."

"I mean, it's only fair since you do the same to mine," he shrugs.

"Oh, not because it's, like, life changing or anything?" he scoffs dramatically.

Harry rolls his eyes. "You're right, I'm sorry, it's life changing."

"Well now I feel like you're just saying that to get in my pants," Louis pouts.

Harry giggles. He really needs to stop giggling. Or maybe Louis needs to stop finding it such a turn on. Who finds giggling a turn on?

He wraps his legs around Louis' waist, heels digging into his bum to pull his weight flush against Harry again. He pulls Louis close by his hair, kissing him again, fingers running through the strands.

Louis kisses back, the faint taste of chocolate in his mouth as their tongues meet. Harry moans softly, shifting his hips upwards, back arching.

Louis groans back, kissing him messily as he grinds his own crotch forward onto Harry's. They start panting at one stage, Louis now resting fully on top of him, hands venturing down to his thighs.

"Love your thighs too," he breathes out, kissing down his jaw to his neck, "feel so good wrapped around me."

Harry squeezes them around Louis. "Louis," he moans, "shit," he curses when Louis sucks just above his collarbone.

They're both hard now, Louis can feel it through Harry's trousers and his joggers. Louis reaches down, about to unzip Harry's trousers when there's an ear piercing scream on the TV. Both of them startle, looking at the TV only to see a jump scare that has both of their hearts racing even faster, jumping away from each other.

Louis meets Harry's eyes again and they both burst into laughter. "What the fuck?" Louis huffs out a laugh, leaning back onto his haunches again.

Harry shakes his head. "Never make out while watching scary videos, noted."

"I thought making out while watching scary stuff is, like, a thing?" Louis says, still breathing heavily, sitting into his spot again. His boner is gone, it's safe to say. Seeing a grudge-looking creature will do that to a man.

Harry sits up too, taking his place next to Louis again."Talk about a buzz kill," he huffs, leaning his head back.

"Boner is dead, I'm guessing?" he asks, looking down at his crotch.

Harry pouts. "Yeah, you too?"

Louis nods. "Don't worry though. The night is still young. We have all the time in the world. Maybe after this we could put on some comedy in the background and I could give you a mind-blowing blowjob?"

Harry grins, nodding excitedly. "Deal," he agrees easily.

It's nice to sit like this with Harry and think they have all the time in the world when, really, they don't. They probably will have to end things sooner or later, given the messy circumstances. Louis would rather not think about that though. He just wants to enjoy whatever moments he has with Harry like this -- where they can kiss each other, hold each other, fuck each other. He'll take what he can get.

____

"So Harry, how was your date then?" Liam asks the following day at the pub.

Louis looks at Harry, hiding his smile into his beer cup as he sips on it. Harry clears his throat. "Um, it was good actually. The guy is nice. Might see him again soon."

"Oh, really?" Louis asks. "How nice is he, Styles?"

Harry narrows his eyes at Louis. "Nice enough."

"For you to, I don't know, take him home?" Louis asks, raising his brow.

"Did you?" Liam gasps.

Harry blushes. "Um," he glares at Louis briefly, "I don't kiss and tell?"

"Harry," Niall says with a dramatic gasp. "On the first date?"

"Ugh, does it really matter?" Harry whines, grumpily drinking some of his cider.

"Oh, it does matter," Zayn teases, "he must be top notch then."

Harry rolls his eyes, meeting Louis' again. He smiles a little. "He's great, yeah," he says softly, "Good heart, kind, funny-- makes me laugh, at least."

Louis gives him an affronted look. Harry laughs back, looking away from Louis because he's been staring too long. "And, um, yeah, I like him."

"So, you'll see him again then?" Niall asks, grinning.

"Yeah, I will," Harry confirms, smirking at Louis.

Louis finds himself smiling, hiding it into his glass again. 

"That's great, mate. What's his name again?" Liam asks.

Harry freezes. "Um his name is, uh, Frederick."

"Frederick?" Niall snorts.

"Niall," Zayn elbows him. "Sorry about him, what he means to say is who on earth names their kid that?"

Louis huffs out a laugh. Harry's cheeks turn pink. "Hey, I didn't name him, okay?" Harry grumbles, "we call him Fred for short."

"Much better," Niall laughs.

Louis pills out his phone, smiling to himself. 

_ So my name is Frederick now?  _

He watches Harry pull out his while the others go into their own conversation. 

_ You look like one _

Louis snorts, shaking his head. He sent back a string of middle finger emojis in return. 

"How was your thing with your work colleagues?" Niall asks, looking at Louis. 

"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. It was good. Nice people," he says, lips pursed, nodding along. 

"Meet anyone there that caught your attention?" Liam asks. 

Louis shrugs. "There is this one colleague of mine, name is Bartholomew," he hums. 

Harry laughs, choking on some of his beer. "Bartholomew?" 

"Yes, that's a name," Louis says, a mirthful glint in his eyes. 

"Jesus, where are you two finding these guys?" Liam asks, eyebrows furrowed. 

"Anyways, he's cute and all but meh," he plays it coy, shrugging it off. 

"Meh?" Zayn asks. 

"Yeah, nothing special, really," Louis says. Harry gapes at him momentarily. 

"Okay," Niall frowns, "uh, so Liam actually met someone."

"Wow, the matchmaker has finally found a match for himself?" Zayn asks. 

Liam shrugs, flushing. "Yeah, his name is Ashley. Met him through a work friend. He's actually this friend's cousin," he laughs nervously, "so, let's hope that if we do end, it doesn't end badly."

"Oh yeah, been there done that," Zayn says, "dated my cousin's ex once, in fact."

"Really?" Louis asks. This is news to him.

"Yeah, it was when we'd just met," he explains, "my cousin dated him in high school and I dated him in uni for about three months." 

"Damn," Niall blinks, "and your cousin didn't mind?" 

Louis listens carefully. Because... Wow. He's in a similar boat, isn't he? Except Zayn and him aren't related. 

"He did," Zayn winces, "but because of that we broke up."

"Oh?" Harry asks, also listening intently. 

"Yeah, we both felt guilty and nothing felt... Right so we ended things after some time. As much as I liked him, we both felt way too guilty to carry on with it."

Harry's eyes find his, both filled with guilt. Louis swallows and looks away, drinking more of his beer. 

"Well, you did the right thing," Niall pats his shoulder. 

"Yeah, and you know, maybe if it didn't feel right it just wasn't for you anyways," Liam adds. 

"Yeah," Louis adds as an afterthought.

The thing is, with him and Harry -- aside from the guilt -- everything feels right. Hell, he barely feels anything but happiness when he's with him. The guilt only hits him whenever they part ways. Or, well, times like this. 

"When you say it didn't feel right... Do you mean that it was, like, awkward between you two whenever you tried to be together romantically?" Louis can't help but ask. 

Harry's eyes widen marginally. 

"Yeah, basically. I just don't think there was a connection enough, you know? We started to like each other enough to try and date but," he shrugs, "wasn't worth it, as harsh as that sounds."

Louis looks at Harry again, who's looking right back at him. Is he worth it? Louis doesn't hesitate with the answer. Of course he's worth it. Slowly, he sends Harry a smile. 

Harry smiles back, a little tightly. 

"Anyways, I saw they have an old school fun fair thing in town. Do you guys wanna go?" Niall asks. 

"Like, with a merry go round?" Harry asks, perking up. 

"Yeah," Niall says, just as excited. 

"Oh, we should go!" Harry says, clapping his hands. 

"When?" Liam asks. 

"This weekend?" Niall suggests.

"Staying with Prem this weekend, actually, so that's a no from me," Zayn says. 

"Wow, things are getting serious then, huh?" Liam asks. 

Zayn smiles coyly. "I guess? It's only been about two months. Don't wanna jinx it."

"That's great, Zayn," Louis says, for some reason feeling lighter. 

"Yeah, but you guys go ahead," he says. 

"I actually wanna take Ash out to this place downtown-- the Laser tag place," Liam says with an apologetic smile. 

"Ah man," Niall pouts. 

"We can still go?" Harry asks. 

"I'll bring Lily then," Niall adds. 

"Lou?" Harry asks. 

Louis sighs. "Yeah, okay."

Harry and Niall cheer. Louis groans but deep down, he's a little excited too. 

___

"I've always wanted to have sex on top of the ferris wheel somehow," Harry reveals. 

Louis chokes on his slushie.

Harry laughs, patting his back. "Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine," Louis clears his throat then looks at Harry, "are you serious?" 

Harry nods. "It's not entirely possible though, is it?" 

"I don't think so," Louis frowns, "why a ferris wheel?" 

"I don't know," he shrugs, "I like the fact that there's a possibility of getting caught."

"Oh my god, you have exhibitionist kink and I'm only finding out about this right now?" Louis gasps. 

Harry's cheeks turn red. "Maybe." 

"And the most exciting place we've had sex was the shower," he deadpans, "God, we need to step it up, don't we?" 

"Only if you're up for it too. I wanna do something we're both comfortable with," Harry says seriously. 

"Perhaps one of these days," Louis says, "when we're actually alone, without any of the boys, I mean."

Harry nods, sneakily kissing his cheek. Louis smiles, looking forward to see Niall and Lily holding hands, in their own world. Louis reaches down, connecting his pinky with Harry's, hiding it between the two of them. 

"Lou?"

"I know," he says, looking forward still, "I just wanna hold your hand." 

He can see Harry smile through his peripheral vision. 

They manage to get away with it for the most part until they reach the ferris wheel. Niall and Lily stop to turn around and face them. Harry and Louis pull away from each other instantly. 

"We wanna go on the ferris wheel," Niall tells them, "you guys joining us?" 

"Yeah, we wanna do our romantic kiss on top of the ferris wheel," Lily says, kissing his cheek. 

"Uh, you guys go ahead," Harry says, "Lou and I will go to the games and try to win a prize." 

"Right, good luck with that," Niall says, "let's go have our kiss on top of that ferris wheel then." 

Niall and Lily walk off, towards the line to go to the ferris wheel. Louis looks at Harry. "Off to the games then?" 

Harry nods and they head the other direction, this time holding hands properly, still hidden between them. 

"I've always wanted to do that too," Harry says quietly as they walk. 

"Kiss and then fuck on top of a ferris wheel?" Louis asks, amused. 

Harry grins. "Yep. In that order."

Louis laughs. "Maybe one day we can then," he says. 

"I'm holding you to that promise," Harry says, "what's the wildest place you've ever had sex?" 

Louis looks up thoughtfully. "Um, not that exciting, honestly. Just a car in an empty parking lot." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah," Louis frowns, "guess I'm not as sexually exciting as I thought." 

"You're plenty exciting," Harry says, squeezing his hand, "especially sexually." 

"Thanks, love," he smiles, "and what about you?" 

"Uh, in a movie theatre... And once over a desk in the office. The door was unlocked though and it was like the middle of the day."

Louis blinks at him. "Wow," he says, "Wait, tell me the desk one wasn't Zayn..." 

Harry winces, looking down. "Um..." 

"Oh God. Ew," Louis grimaces, looking away, eyes shut.

"Sorry, I didn't think twice about that one," Harry says. 

"Yeah, fuck," Louis shudders, "don't wanna think about that, love. Sorry." 

"I know. It's weird to think about isn't it?" 

Louis nods. "Really weird. I mean, when I'm with you, I don't really think about that stuff but moments like now... It's weird."

"Sorry, ugh," Harry wipes his free hand over his face, "come on, let's play that game with the teddy bears." 

"Fine," Louis grumbles, even if only to get the images of him and Zayn out of his mind. He knows they dated and they had sex and whatever. But he'd rather not think about that. 

By fluke, they win a teddy bear with the second try on the bloody bottle-hoop game and Harry asks to swap one big for two small ones. The man in charge surprisingly agrees. 

So they walk with two white teddy bears in their hands, one each, Louis' with a purple ribbon around its neck and Harry's with a pink one. 

"What should we name him?" Harry asks, looking at his stuffed animal.

"How about Frederick?" Louis laughs. Harry scowls at him.

"God, not this… I panicked! I told you," he whines, "it's not my fault I'm dating this non-existent guy."

"Yeah, but Frederick, babe? Really?" he asks.

Harry huffs. "It's hard to lie on the spot, okay?"

Louis tilts his head to the side, sighing. "I know. I'm sorry we have to do it."

Harry leans into his side. "I'm sorry too. But I'm not sorry that I get to spend some time with you."

Louis smiles softly. He kisses him shortly, even though he knows it's a risk. "I like spending time with you too." 

"Besides, you shouldn't be talking," Harry narrows his eyes at him, "Bartholomew, really?" 

Louis barks out a laugh. "You'll pass for a Bartholomew, love." 

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Harry pinches his arm. 

"Ow," Louis whines, rubbing the spot. 

"Oi!" Niall calls out from behind them. They make some distance between them, stopping so Niall and Lily can catch up. Louis hopes he didn't see too much. 

"What are you fighting about?" Niall chuckles. "Can't leave you two alone for ten minutes without a fight?" 

"Nothing, Harry just said I cheated when I won us these bears," Louis sighs dramatically. 

"I didn't," Harry says, actually stomping his foot. 

"Jesus, okay," Niall mumbles, "cute teddies though. Want one too, babe?" he asks Lily.

Lily nods. "You're hopeless at those though, so I'll win for myself."

They all laugh. Niall makes an affronted noise. "Hey, I'm very capable of winning a teddy for you. I'm a man. I can prove it."

Louis rolls his eyes and fake gags. 

"I'm a man," Harry mocks, scoffing out a laugh, "Jesus, Niall, sound more hetero, would you?" 

Niall grumbles. "Whatever, let's go."

Harry and Louis laugh at them as they head in the direction of the fair games. 

"Want to win another?" Louis asks. 

"And waste more money? No," Harry shakes his head. "Let's go to the merry-go-round?" 

"God, okay," Louis huffs.

And so they walk to the merry-go-rounds. 

____

They're at the pub when it happens. They're always at the pub, that's not unusual. It's just a place they go to because they're comfortable there and it's convenient. 

So, Louis is relaxed, he's sitting with Liam and Niall and Zayn next to him, while Harry gets himself, Louis and Liam some drinks. 

Niall is going on about some fight he had with Lily that Louis is only half paying attention to, mostly drifting off to Harry, who's smiling bashfully every time their eyes meet. 

Louis tries not to make it too obvious though, making a vague comment now and then. "And what did she say?" he asks. 

"She said that I also need to make an effort in the relationship, as much as she does," Niall rolls his eyes. 

Louis sees Harry walking back to their table, drinks in his hands. He hands one to Liam and the other to Louis.

And then-- 

"Thanks, babe," Louis says without a second thought. Louis sucks in a breath. 

"Babe?" Liam asks, eyebrows raised. 

"Yeah? I call Zayn babe all the time," Louis scoffs dismissively, taking a long sip of his beer. 

"He does," Zayn says, shrugging. 

"You don't call us babe," Niall pouts, "what did Harry do for him to be called that?" 

"He's not a twat, for one," Louis sticks out his tongue at him. 

"Hey, I'm not a twat," Niall says, offended, "now you sound like Lily."

"Lily is a smart girl then," Harry adds. 

"Okay, wow, when did you two become so annoying? You're spending too much time with each other," Niall grumbles. 

Louis passes Harry a look. "Anyways," he changes the subject, "I wanna know about this new lady you've been seeing, Liam."

Liam blushes. "She's cool. You guys will meet her soon, I think." 

"You think?" 

"Yeah, well, you guys can be intimidating," Liam says, raising an eyebrow, "also, forget about that-- when are you going to start dating again?" 

Louis swallows. "Uh, I mean, I don't know. Not any time soon, I guess," he mumbles and it feels wrong. It feels wrong 

"Okay," Liam frowns, seemingly deciding not to push it. 

"Oh and who's the guy you went on a date with, H? Haven't heard anything after that," Niall adds. 

Harry and Louis pass each other a look again. 

"Um, he's-- he's good, yeah. Date went well, I guess," he smiles a bit. Louis does too. "Might see him again soon, not sure. I'm waiting for him to call me, honestly."

"He hasn't called you yet?" Liam asks, looking offended for Harry. 

Louis shakes his head, biting back a laugh. Harry shakes his head, pouting. "He hasn't. I feel like I should be offended, right? I'm a catch."

"You are," Zayn says, patting his shoulder, "his loss if he doesn't." 

Louis purses his lips. He forgets, sometimes, that Harry and Zayn dated and technically Louis is betraying his best friend in a way, by fucking his ex. But, whatever. They're handling it. They will. It's fine. 

Harry smiles softly. "Uh, thank you," he says, "so are you."

It's unwarranted, the jealousy he feels then. He doesn't really have a right to be jealous, does he? Harry and him are just fucking around and it's not even supposed to mean something in the first place. It's easier with no emotions attached, right? 

He lets out a small sigh. He's kidding himself and he knows it by now. The truth is that if Zayn and Harry never dated, Louis would have loved to go out with Harry-- properly. They'd be dating by now and he's sure of it. But he did go out with Zayn, and now it makes things so much more complicated. 

"He's right. Drop him if he doesn't call by the end of the week," Liam says firmly.

Harry smiles at Liam too. "I will, I promise." 

_____

The next day, Louis calls Harry at the end of the day and asks him out again on a 'date'. This time, he promises to take him some place nice instead of just hanging out at one of theirs. 

Louis doesn't dwell on what this all means but he's sure it's definitely starting to cross the whole friends with benefits line. The thing is, he's more than okay with that. That's what scares him. 

___

"This place is so fancy," Harry says, looking around. 

They're at a really prestigious -- and expensive -- restaurant for their mock of a date, as Louis has decided to call it, and so far it's good to see Harry impressed.

"Yeah, I came here once for a work thing and I loved their food," Louis says, "so I figured I'd make a reservation here for us too."

"Wow, pulling out all the stops, huh?" Harry asks with a grin. 

"Yes, of course," Louis leans forward a bit, "you deserve it." 

His heart constricts behind his ribcage. Definitely not a friends with benefits thing. 

Harry's smile softens though. "Thank you, then. I owe you a not-a-date date too." 

"Of course you do. I want the whole shabang too, Styles," Louis says. He reaches out on the table. Harry takes his hand, cupping them on the table. "And after that shit you said to our friends, I'm expecting just as much." 

Harry laughs, squeezing his hand. "That was a little fun."

"A little?" he asks flatly. 

"Okay, a lot," he snorts, "thanks for calling though."

Louis shrugs. "After that guilt trip I kind of had to, didn't I?" 

Harry smiles, amused. "Sorry, love."

Louis shrugs, feeling butterflies in his stomach. They're silent for a bit before Harry speaks again. 

"This isn't a normal friends with benefits thing, is it?" Harry asks, looking at their joined hands. 

Louis lets out a breath, kind of relieved Harry's been having the same thoughts as him. "Honestly? I don't think it has been since this started. I know we agreed on the no emotions thing because it'd be easier, but I feel like--" he licks his lips, "--because you already meant so much to me before all of this, it made it all the more real." 

Harry swallows visibly. He sighs. "I know. I feel the same way. It's just... What do we do from here? Zayn being involved in this makes it so complicated. Neither of us want to hurt him but I feel like we're already in too deep. Is that crazy?" 

Louis shakes his head. "God, no it's not," he says honestly. He's been pushing that very same feeling away for some time now; probably since they'd first slept together. But he doesn't feel like he can do it anymore. He's feeling something more for Harry. 

"So what now?" Harry asks. 

Louis shrugs. "Again, the whole friends with benefits thing and what we're doing doesn't really make sense together, so, I don't know. Can we-- can we really date in secret or summat?" 

Harry bites his lip. His hand in Louis' calms Louis' nerves just the slightest. "I don't know. Like you said, we're both in too deep right now. I-- I don't know if I'd be able to end it, honestly."

"Okay," he exhales, "we-- we could try dating, I guess? Kind of? And if it doesn't work out, it doesn't, yeah? If it does then we come clean to Zayn."

Harry looks down, seeming hesitant. 

"Is that okay?" Louis asks, a little unsure.

"Lou, nothing about our situation is normal. I think we just labeled it as friends with benefits because that's the thing that made the most sense and eased our guilt a bit," he winces a bit, "so, um, I guess I wouldn't mind trying out this dating thing?" 

Louis cocks his head to the side, smiling a little. "Yeah?" he asks, biting his lip. 

Harry nods, smiling too. "It feels right, doesn't it? Like, it's a little crazy but," he huffs, "it feels right to me and I wouldn't mind trying this out for real. I think there could be something important between us and we'd both be stupid to just let that go or reduce it to nothing, even though we both know it means more, you know? And-- and like you said, once we both know this is serious for sure, we can come clean to Zayn." 

Louis doesn't fail to notice the fact that he doesn't consider not working out as an option. 

Louis puffs out air from his cheeks. "Yeah," he nods, "so we're really doing this, huh?" 

"Yeah, I guess so," he grins, "though I know it's going to be weird doing this behind their backs."

Louis scrunches his nose. "Yeah, it feels.... Dirty. But, like you said, the situation is complicated and I think it's for the best to do it... On the DL for now? At least until we know for sure, like we've been saying." 

"Okay, yeah," he grins, "I feel like friends with benefits kind of took away a lot of substance from us. I kind of feel like we owe it to ourselves to try this for real." 

"Yeah," Louis sighs, smiling, "I agree." 

He feels a little relieved-- a lot relieved, actually. They're both feeling the same way and even though Harry suggested to do this without feelings involved, deep down, they both kind of knew they were inevitable. That this was inevitable, in a way. 

And the thing is, he doesn't mind it at all. He's already gotten used to all of this. He likes being with Harry like this; here they can hold hands openly, they can kiss whenever they want to, the guilt doesn't eat him alive, none of the other things matter, only they do. 

Louis rubs his thumb over Harry's hand. Harry smiles back. "This is really nice, actually," he says, "being honest with each other and trying this out for real." 

"It is," Louis says. Maybe a little too nice for something that's tainted in betrayal. But whatever. It's fine. They'll handle it. They will. 

Louis has a feeling they'll come to a point where it's highly possible this will turn serious and they'll come clean to Zayn anyways. They will. Eventually. 

After dinner, Louis suggests they take a bit of a walk since the air is getting warmer and the night is still young. So they end up walking with their elbows locked together. 

"It's been over a year since Zayn and I broke up, did you know?" Harry says randomly.

"Yeah, why did you think about that?" Louis asks, confused. 

"We just walked past the restaurant Zayn and I had our last date in. We broke up there," Harry says gesturing behind himself. 

Louis glances at the restaurant named, 'Toris'. "Huh. Didn't know that." 

"Yeah, I'm glad we're friends now though. I think we're better off," Harry says. 

"Really?" 

"Yes," he says with a nod, "we fight much less as friends, for one."

Louis chuckles. "Yeah it got pretty tough towards the end, didn't it?" 

"Yeah. And, um, you were there for me, even afterwards. I really appreciate it," Harry smiles, looking at him. 

Louis smiles back, leaning in for a peck. 

"It still feels weird, I suppose," Harry says, "um-- us, I mean, trying this out for real and acknowledging everything. " 

"Yeah, it does," Louis agrees, "but right at the same time, right?" 

"Yeah, I-- I mean, it happened so quickly, didn't it? And I know we're... Um, I don't know. Like, I know we're probably supposed to end everything since it would technically be the right thing to do but it's just so," he sighs, "I feel a lot when I'm with you and I feel happy and I don't feel wrong about that, no matter how weird it feels." 

Louis frowns. He nods. "Yeah, it feels weird because we have to hide for a bit, essentially. But we'll take this day by day, yeah? How does that sound?" 

Harry smiles softly, nodding in agreement. "Sounds good," he says, leaning down a bit to kiss him. 

And yeah, Louis could definitely get used to doing this. 

When he drops Harry off, he kisses him soundly, holding his face close and taking his time. When the night is over, his first thought as he heads home is that he wishes he could do this without having to hurt his best friend because regardless, he knows Zayn will get hurt by the end of this. 

____

So it's complicated, like it always has been, really. They go out on two more dates; one at Harry's place again where they ended up fucking in the kitchen and the other at a bowling alley that ended more innocently, parting ways with a sweet kiss. 

It's kind of everything Louis has wanted for some time now, and he didn't realize how much until now. He still feels bouts of guilt every time he fucking sees Zayn's face though. And he doesn't know how he's going to deal with telling him. 

Because they'll have to, right? Louis knows deep down that they'll have to eventually. He can feel it in his bones. 

But. But, he could also be wrong. They could not work out by tomorrow and end things and then they won't have to deal with any of that.

"Professor?" A student he recognizes as Amy Smith asks, a confused look on her face. 

"Yes?" Louis asks, putting his hand down from the board and looking at her. 

"Who's Harry?" she asks, looking behind him. 

Louis widens his eyes, following her gaze to the board where he, very clearly, wrote Harry's name. If it were any other person, he'd be laughing by now. 

"Oh, uh," Louis clears his throat, cheeks growing hotter, "it's-- it's an acronym." 

"Harry?" she asks again, still looking confused. 

"Yes. Um, Have A Right Roof... You..." he cringes. God that's so, so bad. 

He sees the students in his class all give each other looks, some smiling, some still looking confused. 

"So, who's Harry, Professor Tomlinson?" 

Louis huffs out a laugh, shaking his head, wiping a hand over his face. "He's... A friend."

"A special friend?" Someone else teases. 

Louis feels his ears grow hot too. "Okay, yeah, no. I'm not-- I'm not doing this with you guys. This is so inappropriate," he laughs again, shaking his head, "back to what we were discussing..."

"Do you remember, Professor?" someone else giggles from the back row. Bob. Always Bob. 

Louis groans. "I apologize, I'm... Okay, let's just start over."

He wipes the letters away from the board, shaking his head again. That was so ridiculous. He can't believe he just did that. 

So he starts the whole lesson again, even though they're halfway through the period and by the end of it, Amy raises her hand again. Louis swallows, glancing at the board to make sure he didn't fucking write Harry's name on it again.

He didn't. 

"Yes?" he asks. 

"Good luck with whoever Harry Is, Professor," she smirks and then the bell goes off to indicate the end of the lecture. 

Louis grins to himself despite everything, listening to his students laugh as they head out. He wipes a hand over his face. When he tells Harry about this later, he'll have a good old laugh about it for sure. 

And sure enough, when they're at his place, both cradling a glass of wine and sharing a pizza between them, Harry laughs his ass off. 

"It was so embarrassing!" Louis whines. 

Harry covers his mouth with his hand. "I'm sorry," he says, still through his laughter, "Have A Right Roof You?" 

Louis cringes again. Fuck that was bad. "Yeah," he mumbles, "whatever, you should be flattered, actually."

"Aw," Harry coos, leaning forward to kiss his cheek, "of course I'm flattered. I don't ever leave your mind then, huh?" 

Louis rolls his eyes half-heartedly. 

"Okay, no, I'm sorry. But hey, at least your class handled it well? They sound cool!" 

"They're awesome," Louis confirms, "I don't have many students so I think it helps us have a closer relationship of sorts." 

"That's good, I suppose," Harry hums, leaning into him more and placing his head on Louis' shoulder. 

"Hey, I never really thanked you for this job," Louis realizes, "so thank you so much. I really, really love what I do and I never thought I would."

"I knew you'd be a great professor," Harry smiles up at him, kissing him softly, "I'm glad you're enjoying it."

"Thank you again then," Louis says, grinning. 

"You're welcome," he drops a kiss to Louis' shoulder, "are you staying over tonight?" 

Louis sighs. He's been staying at Harry's more often than not lately but Zayn is also staying at Prem's -- his new partner -- place too. He just doesn't want to risk Harry staying over there just in case Zayn decides to come home early or bring Prem over. Louis isn't sure how he'd explain Harry staying over without it sounding suspicious. 

"I want to," he admits, "let me text Zayn and see what his plans are for the night." 

"You know, you two sure do find a lot of time to spend at partners' places even though both of you have jobs." 

Louis shrugs. "We both like being close to the people we're with, I guess. Surprisingly never moved in with any of them, though." 

Harry hums, eyes downcast. 

"What?" he asks as he types out a message to Zayn and hits send. 

"Zayn and I were talking about it at one stage," Harry says,"I think he really wanted to, and part of me did too but I'm really glad we didn't." 

"Yeah, I'm not surprised," Louis says, eyebrows furrowed. 

Zayn was crazy about Harry and it seemed reciprocated. God, what the fuck are they doing? 

"Don't, Lou," Harry says softly. 

"Don't what?" he feigns innocence. 

"You're doubting everything because I brought up Zayn. We dated and yes I loved him and he loved me, but it's been over a year. We're over each other and I'm ready to move on. I am moving on, and so is he."

Louis nods, letting out a breath. "I know I just-- it gets to me because he's my best friend, H. I like what we have and what we're doin,g but it's not that simple and you know that too."

"I do," he mumbles, "but when I'm with you it seems worth it somehow."

Louis smiles at him. "I know. I feel the same way. In case my whole embarrassment from earlier wasn't evident enough."

Harry snorts. Zayn replies. 

_ Coming home tonight. Are you at home? We could watch Star Wars tonight?  _

Louis smiles at his phone. They both love Star Wars. He misses Zayn.

"Love, I think I might go home tonight," he tells Harry, "I should spend some time with Zayn; I miss him. Ever since he got that promotion and he started dating again, I haven't seen him much." 

"Okay," Harry kisses his temple, "I'll see you tomorrow then?" 

Louis nods. He replies to Zayn, telling him he'll be home soon and gets off the couch. He leans down to give Harry a long kiss before collecting his things and leaving Harry's flat. 

When he gets to his place, Zayn is already on the couch, under a blanket, lights off and munching on some crisps in a bowl next to him. He smiles at Louis. 

"Hey," Louis says, smiling back. He hangs up his jacket and takes off his shoes, collapsing onto the couch next to Zayn. "So, we watching Star Wars then?" 

Zayn nods. "If you don't mind?" 

"No. Of course not," he says, "we haven't spent time together like this in a while." 

"We haven't," Zayn hums in agreement, looking through their recordings for Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. It's both of their favourites. 

"Yeah, so, let's do this then. Just like uni days, huh?" Louis asks. 

Zayn looks at him, nodding. He nudges Louis' arm. "Miss you, mate."

"Miss you too, Z," he says, swallowing. A wave of guilt hits him. 

They start the movie and mostly sit in silence until Zayn speaks again. 

"I think Prem and I are over," he sighs. 

Louis looks at him, frowning. "Wait, what? Why? You seemed really happy, like, yesterday with him."

Zayn shrugs. "We just don't really have a lot in common, I'm beginning to see. And not in like a good way? Sometimes it's nice to be with someone you don't have a lot in common with because they can challenge you, you know? But it's like, we have nothing whatsoever. It was becoming frustrating." 

Louis nods slowly. For some reason, he feels his guilt worsen. Maybe it's because with Zayn seeing someone else too, he didn't feel as guilty. Zayn having someone else made Louis feel like he wouldn't react as badly if, or when, he ever found out about Louis and Harry. 

"But I'm okay, surprisingly. It's been a few months with him, I know, but I think I mostly stayed for the sex, honestly," Zayn says. 

His boldness makes Louis snort. "I mean... Fair enough, I guess?" 

"Yeah," he shrugs, "So, who have you been seeing then? Running off overnight to this person's place, thinking I'd not notice and ask you about it," he wiggles his brows suggestively. 

Louis laughs nervously, eyes on the TV again. "Just… A colleague I've been seeing from work, actually."

Another lie. Great. Another wave of guilt. Awesome. 

"That's great, mate. Why didn't you tell me?" he asks, genuinely looking happy for Louis when Louis glances at him again. God, Louis really does hate himself for this. 

"Uh, I-- it's nothing serious," he says, hoping his voice isn't shaking, "just... Having some fun."

Which is another lie on top of the first lie. Whatever he and Harry have, while not particularly that serious, is still more than what he's playing it off to be. They decided to actually give it a go and date for real for God's sake. That means something. 

"Oh, I see," Zayn smirks, "well, good for you then. You deserve to let loose a little. Can I just say something though?" 

Louis looks at him curiously, nodding. "Yeah?" 

"You should consider taking it further, I think," he says softly, "he or she seems to make you really happy, Louis. I'm kind of ashamed I didn't notice it before but you've been really happy and I realize that now. Maybe what you two have is something you should consider keeping for long term? If you feel something for this person, go for it, man. Life is too short not to." 

Louis shakes his head, letting out a short, humorless laugh. "If only it were that simple..."

"Well, why can't it be? Does the uni have a policy against dating colleagues or-- wait, it's not a student is it?" 

"No," he shakes his head again, "and it's complicated because... Because, um, a friend of mine from work kind of had a thing with him too some time back. I don't want to make things awkward or do something wrong."

Zayn regards him carefully. For a moment, Louis is scared he'd been too obvious and Zayn figured shit out. But lucky for Louis, he didn't.

"So your friend and this guy you have feelings for dated a while back?"

Louis nods in confirmation. 

"Okay, uh, how long ago was it that they broke up then?" 

"Uh, over a year now. Fourteen months? To be precise?" 

Zayn blinks, looking impressed. "Wow. Okay, um, how long did that relationship with your friend last?" 

Louis huffs out a breath. "Uh, a year."

Fucking hell he hopes this isn't too obvious. But he needs his best friend's thought processes on all of this. Maybe once he gets a clearer one, he can tell when he needs to come clean to him. 

"Oof, yeah," Zayn mumbles, looking down, "that's rough and tricky."

"Yeah, exactly," Louis sighs. 

"But he makes you really happy, it seems. And I feel like that's worth it, Lou."

"Yeah?" Louis asks, still unsure. He's sure about one thing though, if Zayn really knew that this was actually about him, he wouldn't be saying all of this. It's different when it actually happens to you. 

"Yeah, I-- it is complicated I guess. And it depends how close you are to this friend too. But I'm sure if you talk to him about it soon, he might understand, don't you think?" 

Louis lets out a breath. "Uh, I guess, yeah," he says quietly. He should talk to Zayn soon, shouldn't he? Regardless of whether they get serious or not, maybe he should ask Zayn. 

But then again, what if Zayn isn't happy and makes them end things. Is he really ready to let Harry go? Will he ever really be ready to do that? 

"It'll be okay, Louis. Whatever is meant to happen will happen. Life has a funny way of working things out," he smiles assuringly. 

Louis wishes he had that attitude, but maybe it's what he needs right now-- to put his faith into the universe, as cheesy as that sounds. 

"Can I ask you something?" Louis asks, licking his chapped lips. 

Zayn furrows his brows, nodding. "Of course." 

"Do you think the reason why things didn't work out with Prem is because you still have feelings or something for Harry?" 

He just-- he has to know. 

"No," Zayn shakes his head, "I mean, I guess part of me will always, like, love him I guess, but it's not like that anymore. He's become one of my best mates and I wouldn't change that for anything."

"Really?" he laughs a bit. "Not even for one night of hooking up like most exes have who stay friends? The whole, 'one more night' thing."

Zayn stares at him, tilting his head to the side a bit. "Uh, no? That'd just ruin what we've been working on to become friends, so I wouldn't do that. Not all exes have that..."

"Right, I just… I don't know. I had to ask, I guess. Because, uh, you know if there's still feelings there then you should... Be honest about it," he says. 

Zayn nods. "Well, I'm not sure about Harry, but I'm not looking to get back together with him or hook up or whatever. Is he-- does he still have feelings for me, or? Is that why you're asking?" 

Louis shakes his head quickly. The thought of Harry still having feelings for Zayn makes his stomach twist. Harry has said that he's ready to move on and he is, that's that. 

"No, I was just wondering, that's all. I don't think he still has feelings for you either."

"Okay, good. I kind of like being his friend, honestly. We're probably better off this way," he shrugs and then his eyes are back on the TV, "Hey, shh it's my favourite part now!" 

Louis grins, amused. He keeps quiet though and focuses back on the movie. Maybe telling him, whenever they do decide to won't be as bad as Louis thinks it'll be. He hopes he's proved right. 

____

It's later that week when the guilt hits him full force. Spending time with Zayn, talking to him about his own situation (unbeknownst to Zayn) connecting with him properly; it's made him doubt everything. 

He feels like he's sobered in a way, after spending a night with Harry two days later. 

"Are you okay? You seem off," Harry says. 

Louis sits up, swinging his legs to the end of the bed. He drops his head into his hands. "I'm screwing over my best friend."

"Lou..."

"No, I am. I'm doing it willingly. I admitted to having feelings for you for Christ's sake and we agreed to date behind his back. How is this okay?" 

Harry stays quiet. "I don't want this to end. Please don't end this. We can work something out."

Louis glances at him to pass him an incredulous look. "How can you say that?" he asks, before Harry can reply, he continues, "he's your friend too, Harry. What we're doing," he laughs, "we're just kidding ourselves, aren't we?" 

Harry makes a small sound, almost like a whimper. 

A sense of defeat hits him. 

"This shouldn't have happened so many times..." Louis trails off, voice quiet, dropping his head into his hands again. 

He hears Harry shuffle across the mattress until he's behind Louis, forehead meeting Louis' back as he lets out a heavy exhale, his warm breath causing goosebumps to form down his spine.

"He's my best friend," Louis continues, "and you're his ex."

"I know," Harry says quietly.

"Why can't I resist you?" Louis whispers, squeezing his eyes shut.

"For the same reason I can't resist you," Harry says, voice rough and throaty.

He inhales sharply, heart rate increasing. Louis is too afraid to face what that means, even if he might know deep down. He can't do it right now. 

"Louis, we made ourselves miserable by ignoring it at first, don't you remember? And now-- I don't know how to do this without you. I know we're making it so complicated but these past few weeks, actually being with you, it's been amazing. I want that. I know you want that too. I can feel it." 

Louis sighs. He's right. He's never been happier. Going out with Harry, actually admitting they have feelings for each other. It's been amazing. But it doesn't mean that what they're doing is automatically right, even if there's more of an insinuation to Harry's words now. 

_ For the same reason why I can't resist you. _

If he's being totally honest with himself, Louis knows why they can't resist each other. He's just-- he's not ready to face it. He can't. It makes things so, so much worse than it already is. 

Maybe he should end this, but Harry is right; they were miserable trying to ignore the chemistry between them. He can't even imagine how miserable they'll be if he ignores what they have now which is so, so much more. 

"I don't want it to end either," Louis admits, "just-- give me some space though, please? I need to... I don't know."

"You need to what? Think things through?" Harry asks, his breath warm on Louis' skin. 

Louis shrugs. "I don't know," he says again, "fuck I don't want it to end but being with Zayn again like that, talking to him-- it made me feel like shit."

Yes, Zayn said this non-existent friend of Louis' would understand the situation but Zayn is basically his family. It would be different and Louis knows that. He doesn't know how understanding Zayn would be. 

"I know," Harry says quietly, "I know this is so hard to deal with right now but I don't want to give up on us. I think we have something really special and I know why I can't resist you… Why I never could. I think we both might know why."

"Fuck, I don't either," Louis let's out a breath, turning around to face him. He connects their lips in a short kiss. 

"I don't think the amount of times we did anything made a difference, by the way..."

"What do you mean?" Louis asks. 

"We did it once and it was enough for me to lose my mind over you, Lou. It wouldn't matter if we did it just that one time or twenty, I'd still feel the same way about you." 

Louis swallows. He's speaking boldly and unabashedly right now and Louis is scared to hear what he knows is at the tip of his tongue. 

Confused and simultaneously relieved in a weird way, he kisses Harry again. That's all he can do right now. He has to. 

____

They don't explicitly discuss what Louis felt and how close he was to ending it, nor did they address the not-really-a-confession confession. 

They go back to hanging out, mostly with the other boys too, and Louis pretends like nothing is happening. So Harry forces them to meet today and discuss things properly.

But before they can even start properly, Louis' mum pays him a surprise visit. He's with Harry at their place, they're only really eating lunch together for now before getting to the conversation. Plus, they're trying to dial back on doing anything... Touchy in general, the tension still hanging in the air thickly between them until they actually talk about things. 

Louis answers it, smiling and embracing her immediately. "Mum, what are you doing here?" he asks, letting her in. 

"I missed you," she sighs, "I had to come and see you since you haven't come to me."

Louis rolls his eyes. "I saw you not that long ago..."

"It's been months, love," she deadpans. 

Louis sighs. "Okay, I'm sorry. Thanks for coming though. Uh, this is my friend Harry," he says, gesturing at him, avoiding too much eye contact. 

Harry is standing now, waving at her with an awkward smile before extending his hand out for her to shake. She smiles, shaking it.

"So, you're the famous Harry then," she says, "Louis told me a lot about you."

Louis blushes. He's not sure how much he's said, but it's not surprising that he's spoken about him a lot. He's established that he's liked Harry for some time now-- after him and Zayn, of course. This doesn't help his current situation though. 

"Um, we were just having tea. Would you like some?" Harry asks, politely smiling at her. 

Louis smiles despite himself. Always so polite. She nods. "That would be lovely, dear. Thank you."

Harry nods and walks into the kitchen to switch on the kettle. Louis leads his mum to the table to sit down. "What have you been up to then?" 

Louis shrugs. "Little of everything, I suppose. I'm enjoying my job a lot. A lot more than I thought I would at first, actually. What have you been up to? How are the littles?" 

She grins. She tells Louis about Lottie and Fizzy and the journeys they've been taking together since they saved up enough to travel, how the twins want to drop out of school because they don't like it, and the youngest set are actually enjoying it. 

Harry places her tea in front of her. "Um, let me know if you want to add anything," he says then sits down next to Louis. 

"Oh, I take it with one sugar, actually," she tells Harry. 

"Uh, I know. Louis told me a while ago," he says with a shy smile. 

She blinks at him, surprised. "Oh, well thank you then," she says, "tell me about yourself, Harry. I know you're also a teacher."

Harry smiles. "Yes, I teach preschoolers. I love it. I've always loved kids, especially at that age."

"That's sweet. Want some of your own one day I'm assuming then?" 

Harry nods enthusiastically. "Oh, yes. There's no rush but one day, I definitely do want that." 

"Good for you. I know Louis is the same. He's already a dad as far as I'm concerned," she says, pinching his cheek. 

"Mum," he groans, rubbing the spot. Harry laughs softly. 

"Excuse me, you're just as bad with your dad jokes and whatnot," Louis says to Harry, momentarily forgetting how tense things have been. 

"You laugh at them!" Harry squawks, smile disappearing slowly, eyes averting to the table. 

See, the thing is, it's always easy to talk to him, to get along with him, to be with him. The tension between them is killing Louis and he knows it's because there's deeper feelings that are going unsaid. 

His mum looks at him, a twinkle in her eye, laughing a little. "It's good to see you two get along so well. You seem like a lovely person, Harry." 

"Oh, thank you," Harry says, looking touched about it. 

"No problem, love. Tell me more about you, where did you study, your hometown and all that," she says, looking eager to know more. 

And they get along smashingly, it seems. Louis smiles throughout their conversation. Harry makes his mum laugh and she looks absolutely smitten with him. Louis can bloody relate.

Their conversations die down a little when Zayn walks in about half an hour later, smiling when he notices Louis' mum. 

"Zayn," she says happily, getting off her chair to greet him, "it's been too long, darling. How are you?" 

"I'm good, Jay. How are you?" Zayn asks, hugging her. 

"All good, love," she grins. 

They decide to have supper together -- take away, because none of them want to cook anything. Jay spends time talking to Zayn and Harry, occasionally Louis, much to his dismay. It's like she's more worried about them than Louis, but whatever. 

At one point during the conversation, she gasps, gaining his attention. Zayn and Harry also seem taken aback. 

"You're the Harry who's with Zayn," she says, "oh, no wonder why-- I knew you were friends with Louis but you were mentioned before that, weren't you? As Zayn's boyfriend."

Louis swallows, heart dropping. Fuck. What a way to make the tension worse. 

"Oh, uh, we broke up almost a year and a half ago, actually," Zayn says with a small and nervous laugh. 

"Oh, okay," she hums, "a shame, you two make a cute couple."

"Yes, well things in a relationship go beyond just looking cute together, don't you think, mum?" Louis surprises himself by snapping. 

God, he's a mess. One minute he's head over heels for Harry, wants to date him, the next he's doubting everything, and now his jealousy is coming out -- not an ideal reaction especially when they're... Not communicating properly. 

All three of them stare at Louis. Zayn looks confused, Harry looks scared almost, like Louis will do something stupid, and his mum -- well, she seems like she knows something they all don't. 

"Of course," she waves him off, "I'm just poking fun. It's nice to see Harry remaining friends with all of you now though."

"Yeah, uh," Zayn clears his throat, seemingly still recovering from Louis' small outbreak, "honestly, we're all close, though Louis and Harry are attached at the hip now." 

He says it with a smile on his face, so it's not like he's trying to be shady or anything, he genuinely believes that. It is technically true. Louis can still hear his heart beat in his bloody ears though. 

"Oh, that's great. I hear of Harry quite a bit, I just didn't put the two and two together about you and Harry," she tells Zayn, "anyways, I thought I'd pop in and see how my son is doing since he doesn't even check up on me anymore." 

She gives him a pointed look. Louis flushes. "I do check on you." 

"Yeah, he's a mummy's boy, Jay. I have a hard time believing that." 

"Hey," Louis says to Zayn.

"It's true, Lou. Even I know that," Harry adds, giving him a pointed look, his smile soft and hesitant. 

He's been that way with Louis since that conversation, like he's scared if he says the wrong thing, Louis will end everything. Truthfully, Louis doesn't know how he can end anything when he feels so much for Harry already.

The fact of the matter is that Harry had a point in saying that they both know why they can't resist each other. They will be miserable if they choose to ignore things now. 

Louis huffs, shaking his head to rid himself of any further thoughts. "Anyways, are you staying, mum?" 

"Yes, if that's okay with you two, of course. I'll leave after breakfast tomorrow?" 

"Of course, Jay. As long as you make your pancakes for us in the morning. They're the best." Zayn says with a small smile. 

She grins back. "Of course, love."

"Wait, but I thought my pancakes are the best," Harry says, actually pouting. 

"They're good, Harry, but you do have some competition here," Zayn says. 

Louis nods when Harry looks at him. "Sorry, love. Hers are one of the best." 

He let's the pet name slip without a second thought. Harry's smile turns softer, eyes still hesitant. 

Louis smiles back, just as soft probably, because it has to be. It's Harry. Even if they haven't spoken about anything properly yet. 

The rest of the night they spend talking mostly, his mum sharing some embarrassing baby stories with Harry mostly and heading to bed at about ten, Harry leaving too. 

Louis walks him out the flat and into the hallway, putting his hands into his pockets. "So? Mum seems to like you."

Harry bites his bottom lip. "You think so?" 

"I know so. You charmed her. She loves you," Louis says, giving him a small smile, "I'll see you tomorrow then? We can talk about things properly?" 

"Yeah, I'll come in the afternoon and meet you guys at the pub. We could head to mine and talk after that?"

"Hmm, that's fine with me," Louis says. He grabs Harry's hand and gives it a small squeeze, "thank you. I know this is a lot and my emotions are all over the place but I-- I'm not giving us up. I just need to sort through all of them first." 

"I know," Harry smiles, squeezing his hand, "I'm glad you're not giving up on us. We can work through things."

"I think so too," Louis says, letting out a breath. 

Harry smiles again. "I'll see you tomorrow, Lou. Bye." 

"Bye," Louis grins back, "have a safe trip back home." 

Harry laughs a little and thanks him, walking backwards and waving before turning around and stepping down the stairs. Louis smiles then turns the knob opened to walk inside. 

He feels a little relieved knowing they're somewhat on the same page in terms of where they're going with this, even though they need to talk about more. They have to define this relationship properly. They agreed they'd tell zayn if they're getting serious and he's pretty sure that's what's scaring him the most; because they're already pretty serious and he honestly isn't ready to lose Zayn, nor Harry. 

He's shocked to see his mum sitting at the table when he gets back inside because they'd all already said goodnight to each other. "Hi," he says, confused, "is everything okay? Do you need anything?" 

"Just wanted to sit with you alone for a bit and have a talk," she says, smiling tiredly. 

"Mum, you look exhausted. Where-- are all your clothes in that handbag of yours?" 

"It's a Louis Vuitton handbag, love. It's fitting all of the things I need to stay anywhere overnight."

Louis raises his eyebrows. "Okay, sorry," he sits down opposite her, "we can talk tomorrow morning too, you know?" 

"We can. Just wanted to ask you about Harry. He seems lovely," she says, though there's something more in her eyes. 

Louis looks down. "Yeah. He's, uh-- he's one of my best friends, really. Zayn was right."

"I can see he means a lot to you already," she says, "more than just friends, am I right?" 

Louis blinks at her, gulping. "Why would you say that?"

"Sweetheart, the entire time we spoke, you couldn't take your eyes off of him," she says dryly. 

Louis' face falls. He glances at Zayn's bedroom door to check if it's closed. Luckily it is. He didn't even realize he's that obvious. "It's not...t's not like that, I'm-- it's complicated, mum," he whispers.

"How is it complicated, love?" she asks. 

"We, um, we're... Dating, I guess," it feels good to say it out loud to someone, honestly, "and, um, Zayn doesn't know... Yet." 

And it's fucking killing him to lie to his best friend. 

"I figured Zayn doesn't know yet," she gives him a pointed look, "what were you two thinking in the first place? Zayn is your best friend, love."

Louis swallows, tears sitting thick and heavy in his throat. He's been avoiding facing this properly, especially since his breakdown after telling Harry they shouldn't have done it so many times. "I know, I know, it's fucked up," he sighs, "we didn't mean for it to--" he cuts himself off, "--we tried to ignore it at first but we just… I don't know. I feel so much for him, mum. I don't even know how to explain it. I feel so happy with him." 

And it's the truth. Everything he's been holding in from everyone else, he can say out loud. He can talk through things with his mum because she won't judge him.

"I can see that. You look really happy, and I'm glad that you are." Louis doesn't know how she picked up on happy when they were kind of tense. "But you two need to be honest with Zayn too, especially if you're in love--"

"In love?" Louis asks, heart beating rapidly behind his ribcage. This is what he's been ignoring. This is what Harry meant when he said, 'for the same reason why I can't resist you'. He can't hear it. He can't face it. It's so much to admit that he loves him, even if he knows he does deep down and hearing it out loud makes it harder to push down. 

"Aren't you?" she asks. "Baby, did you just listen to yourself? Talking about how happy he makes you, do you know how you look at each other?" 

Louis swallows. "Mum, we've only just decided to start dating. And things are weird because I told him we shouldn't have done whatever we did so many times and now he thinks I'm going to end it even though I don't want to. Fuck," he ends with a weak whimper, "I can't-- we can't love each other," he says incredulously, the feelings and emotions he'd kept at bay coming spiraling into his heart, beating rapidly behind his ribcage. 

"How long have you known him?" she asks, throwing him off a bit. 

"Over two years, almost three," he swallows back tears, "What does that have t--" 

"That's plenty of time to fall in love with someone. Don't you think?" she asks, raising a brow at him. 

Louis lets out a shaky breath. "He was with Zayn for a year, mum."

"I know. And I know this must be difficult but if it makes both of you happy, you need to do the right thing and tell Zayn. There's no guarantee what he'll say or how he'll feel, and it might take some to accept it, but sweetie, if this is something serious and for the long run, you have to be honest." 

Louis sighs. "I need to talk about it with Harry first," he says, dismissing the subject, "it's all-- it's a lot." 

She purses her lips. "You see yourself having a future with him?" she asks, but it comes out as more of a statement. 

Louis nods reluctantly, refusing to cry right now.

"I can see that," she says softly. Then it's silent for a bit until she speaks again. "Just do the right thing, love," she gets off her chair and pats his hand, "lets get some sleep, yeah?" 

Louis nods, eyes on the table. He waits for the sound of his bedroom door to shut before he lets himself cry. It's been a long time coming, honestly. 

They could have ignored it, forced themselves to move on and date other people, not be so close to each other, even as friends -- because Louis is sure that's when it all started, they could have done so many things differently and he wouldn't be in this mess today. But he can't, even in his state right now, find himself regretting anything with Harry. 

And maybe his mum is right. He's in love with him. What the fuck? It's why they can't resist each other and never could. Harry was right when he said whether it was one night together or twenty, he'd feel the same way because Louis does too and, God, what other explanation is there to that besides love? 

He doesn't know how long it's been that way exactly, but he's pretty sure it started before they'd even slept together for the first time. That's why it was so hard to resist each other afterwards. He'd already gotten a taste of what he'd loved, how could he ignore or deny that?

And it's like every emotion or situation he'd been pushing away before this comes barreling back and hitting him as hard as a truck. They should have told Zayn a long time ago. But they can't change it. They can't. 

He has to talk to Harry about this first. Because he can finally accept the fact that he loves him, that he has for a while, and it's clear that Harry knows this too. It's only a matter of communicating about this and deciding what to do from there. 

____

He does bring it up to Harry a few days later. He's always distracted with Harry and doesn't think about anything else but Harry, and Harry only. But then he mentions Zayn again to finally have their long awaited talk Louis had been avoiding, and Louis remembers everything. 

He's drinking some wine when Louis says, "We love each other."

Harry almost chokes on his wine, wiping his mouth and looking at Louis, eyes wide. 

"We love each other... Don't we?" he asks, but he knows the answer to it. He can feel it. Harry indirectly said so. Kind of. 

Harry swallows visibly, placing his glass down . "What-- what makes you say that?" he asks quietly. 

"Harry," he deadpans, "babe..."

Harry's eyes turn wet.

"It's why I couldn't resist you in the first place and vice versa," Louis finally confesses, "you were right."

Harry releases a shaky breath. "You know if we admit that we love each other it gets so much more complicated and we have to tell Zayn and I … I didn't want to say anything properly to you until after we tell him I--" he sighs, "--I don't know. I'm scared. And I get it now. I get why you were so confused. I get why you probably considered ending things. I'm sorry if I made you do anything you weren't ready to."

"No, I'm not... I'm not blaming you. I'm scared too," he admits, wiping a hand over his face. He grabs Harry's hand. "But I do love you. I think I have for some time now. I think that's what I felt, for so long now. And you were right again, about whether it happened once or twenty times, I'd still feel the same, because I've probably felt it since before we first slept together."

"I think I have too. I love you too. Fuck, it's so good to say out loud. I-- this is crazy. We only just agreed to date. And you were so confused about everything only two weeks ago. God we're such a fucking mess," he laughs.

"And yet we've loved each other for, what, six or seven months? Maybe longer? Probably longer, I think. " 

Harry smiles sadly, wiping away stray tears. "We have to tell Zayn soon, don't we?" 

"Yeah. I-- I think we have to. My mum... She says it's obvious, the way we look at each other. It's only a matter of time..." he trails off, "that's why I was so confused and bothered. I need to be honest with him now. He's my best friend." 

He nods, moving into Louis' space and resting his head on his shoulder. It's the first time they've broken the invisible barrier between them, allowing themselves to be close to each other without feeling awkward or tense. "I was supposed to ask you to spend a weekend with me in this cute B&B in Camden," Harry mumbles, "but I don't know how you're feeling about that right now."

"Well, how about this," Louis starts, mind reeling, "we could go and have a weekend away and when we're back, we can decide when and how to tell Zayn. We'll do this right." 

Harry nods again and kisses Louis' shoulder. It feels good to have Harry's lips on him. "Can't believe we told each other that we love each other."

Louis lets out a shaky breath, laughing shortly. "Me neither, honestly. But it's been a long time coming, I think, like I said. It's... A lot."

"Yeah," he whispers, "I love you though and... I want this to work out. Not giving it up." 

"I love you too," Louis drops a kiss to his head, hoping and praying it works out too. 

"Can I kiss you now? I haven't kissed you in forever," Harry asks, lifting his head up to look at Louis. 

Louis doesn't waste anymore time, kissing him softly, resting his forehead against Harry's. He can't give Harry up. Not now, not tomorrow, or ever, really. 

What they have is something special. 

____

**Now**

So their plans to wait and tell Zayn first before revealing it to the rest of their friends kind of gets ruined. They're on the couch, cuddling after a bit of a... Session where Louis got carried away and into his thoughts about how much he loves Harry, and how he's realized it's wrong but can't help how right it feels -- the usual mess of emotions -- when the door swings open. 

Now they'd only come up to the flat because they knew Zayn would be at work and, up until the door burst opened revealing Liam and Niall, they thought they would be at work too. Hell, Niall had just left the flat not even half an hour ago after raiding Louis' and Zayn's fridge for breakfast. 

"Hi again! " Niall smiles, tone enthusiastic until he sees the scene in front of him, both Harry and Louis practically naked, laying down on the couch, Harry under his arm, head on Louis' chest. 

"Uh, what is this?" Liam is the first to speak, next to Niall, face pale. 

"Shit," Louis scrambles up to pull on his clothes hastily while Harry does the same. "We know this looks bad," Louis speaks quickly, zipping his trousers again, "but there's an explanation, I promise." 

"What-- uh, what the hell?" Liam frowns. 

"Yeah, what…" Niall stares at them in confusion, "God, you two fucked... Please tell me I'm wrong somehow." 

"We did," Louis winces, "we have been for a while now, actually," he reveals. 

He watches their faces contort into anger and even more confusion. Louis glances at Harry who's dressed again, sitting on the couch once more. He looks up at Louis, eyes wet, expression nervous. 

Louis wipes his hands over his face. "Please let us explain?" he asks desperately. "You weren't supposed to find out like this." 

"Zayn doesn't know, does he?" Niall asks, a shake in his voice. "This is-- this isn't the first time by the looks of it."

"I'm so… Fuck, I'm so confused," Liam blinks. 

"Can you just sit down at least and we can talk? What-- what are you even doing here in the first place?" Louis asks, "You both are supposed to be out."

"Oh, I'm sorry for interrupting. Do you want us to leave?" Liam asks, practically spitting out the words. 

"He didn't mean it like that," Harry speaks for the first time since they'd come in, "I'm so sorry you had to find out this way. We were going to tell you."

"Tell us what, exactly?" Niall asks, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Louis sits next to Harry, sending him a look before looking at Niall and Liam again. "Can you guys sit down so we can talk?"

"No, talk now," Niall shakes his head, jaw clenching. Liam next to him swallows visibly. 

"Fine, I-- we have been seeing each other for some time; for officially a month and a half, maybe? But, uh, we've been... Together before that for a while." 

"Together?" Liam asks, then his face lights up in realization, "like you've fucked before?" he asks, tone half disgusted half surprised. 

Fuck. Louis sighs in defeat. No point in lying now. "Yes, we were... Doing that for a bit before we decided to give the dating thing a try." 

"And Zayn doesn't know," Niall repeats, scoffing, "Louis, how could you do this to him?" he asks, tone sad now. 

Louis feels a lump in his throat. "I know it's horrible. Fuck, I know, trust me. We didn't want to do anything about this at first and trust me, we tried not to. But we just... We were drawn to each other and we kind of, sort of love each other," he winces. 

"You what?" Liam asks in a quiet voice, face falling. 

"You're telling me you fell in love with your best friend's ex boyfriend?" Niall asks flatly.

"I fell in love with Harry," he amends, "he's more than just my best friend's ex."

"Is that what you two have been telling yourselves then?" Liam laughs in disbelief, "to make it easier to fuck around behind his back?" 

"We didn't mean to," Harry croaks, sounding close to crying, "we want to tell him, you have to believe us. It was confusing and complicated for us too, and we just wanted to figure shit out before we did. But we want to now." 

Louis swallows, also close to tears. 

"Fuck, I knew you two were holding hands that day at the fair!" Niall throws his hands up. "Lily said I was imagining things." 

Shit. They did see them. Louis thought they were careful about it. 

"That was months ago, fuck," Niall continues, "and you've been just carrying on with this lie… This betrayal for that long? Even before that, probably." 

Louis nods shamefully. "Look, I-- I know this is a lot and you probably think I'm the biggest scum on the planet right now. That may even be true but--" he looks at Harry, smiling, small and hesitant. He shakes his head, starting another thought. "You know, when we first started, I could feel guilty about us just fucking. I was an arse and I was thinking with my dick first. But I just didn't understand what always drew us towards each other until I realized I was in love with him for God knows how long and I..." he swallows, "I can't feel guilty about loving him," Louis swallows, "I just can't because nothing about us feels wrong."

"That's so fucked up," Liam shakes his head, looking disappointed, "Louis, it is wrong." 

Louis shuts his eyes, head dropping down. "It is in a way, but  _ we _ feel right, is what I'm trying to say." 

Harry shifts the slightest bit closer to Louis, sniffing. Louis looks up at him, wanting nothing more than to comfort him. But he doesn't want to make things more awkward and tense than it already is. 

"He trusted you, Louis. He still does and he's going to be pissed when he finds out because he will. I don't care what you say. If you don't tell him, we will," Liam spits. 

Louis wipes his eyes, nodding. "I know. We decided to tell him already. I, um-- after this weekend, actually." 

"So, you're stalling, basically," Liam says dryly. 

Louis feels a flash of annoyance. "It's not that easy, Liam," he rasps, "it's not so black and white."

"No, it is though. You fucked and fell in love with your best friend's ex boyfriend. Your best friend who is practically family to you, mind you. Who trusts you with his life," Niall narrows his eyes, "so, no, it is actually that simple, and you two never should have done anything about whatever drew you to each other in the first place because it's wrong." 

Louis felt scolded, humiliated and ashamed. He didn't know what to say. Then Harry lets out a small sob, covering his mouth shortly afterwards, looking down. Louis looks at him sadly. This isn't easy for either of them. They know it's wrong but you can't help who you love. 

"Harry, no offense, but you don't get to cry about it," Liam says coldly, "you know he was crazy about you and you turn around and sleep with his best friend." 

Harry stares at Liam, eyes wet. He shakes his head and looks at Louis, looking as helpless as Louis feels. 

"You two are so fucked up," Niall huffs, shaking his head in disbelief, "I cannot believe you did this. Especially you, Louis."

Louis blinks at him. 

"I was just as willing to do this as he was," Harry says immediately, voice soft but firm. 

"Oh, I can see that. But Louis has known Zayn for fucking years and considers him family... It's worse." 

Louis doesn't feel like being kicked when he's already down, but he supposes he kind of deserves it. He still doesn't think Harry does though, even if they've both made mistakes. 

"Look, I know this is weird," Louis sighs, feeling defeated and exhausted, "but we're going to be honest with him, I promise you we will." 

"You should have already," Niall enunciates.

"Fuck, I know," Louis sighs, "look, we're going to and I'd really appreciate it if you guys let us do it on our own." 

Liam glares at them. "You want us to go along with this lie then? Is that what you're asking?" 

"It's just this weekend and we'll talk about it with him, Liam. I know I seem like a fucking dick right now, but let us make this right. Please?" 

"You're going to tell him and then what? End things between you two? Because I can save that trouble and tell you to do that right now." 

"I don't want to end things...  _ We _ don't. I-- we love each other. I'm going to try my best to get Zayn to understand, and I hope that eventually, he will. And um, that you two will too." 

Niall looks sad and disappointed, then averts his gaze to Liam. They have some sort of silent conversation before he speaks again. "Tell him or we will. Stop stalling it, Louis. Both of you, actually."

"We will," Harry replies. 

"I think we should go," Niall shakes his head, "to think I'd come back here to ask you two if you wanted to go out for lunch or something," he laughs, the sound hollow. 

He's the first to pull the door open and walk out. Liam gives them one last look. "I didn't expect that from either of you, you know?" he says, murmuring the words. 

Louis feels like he's being told the same thing over and over again. He looks away and hears the door shut. 

"Lou?" 

Louis finally looks at him and lets himself cry. "We got ourselves into such a fucking mess," he laughs humourlessly. 

"Yeah, we did," Harry says sadly, finally breaking the barrier and holding Louis' hand. "I'm so sorry, Louis." 

"Don't," he shakes his head, "like you said, we both did this willingly and-- Zayn is going to react even worse, you know?" 

Harry nods. "Maybe we should tell him sooner? We had this planned out and now..." 

They could tell him tomorrow, but Louis needs this with Harry. This weekend, as insignificant as it may seem, could be the last good weekend between them for a while. 

"No," Louis shakes his head defiantly, "I know we need to talk to him but we agreed it would be after this weekend and we-- we will," he swallows, "we should go on this trip because we deserve it. It's going to be hard after telling him, and I don't know how long it's going to last. I want this with you."

It feels like a thinly veiled excuse to just spend one last weekend playing pretend, like they didn't betray someone they both care about. But Louis can't feel guilty any longer. He wants this with Harry. 

"So we're... Just going to go on this trip then? Just like that?" Harry asks quietly. 

"Would you rather stay here and have Liam and Niall give us death stares the whole time?"

"I don't know. I'm just... Feeling bad, I guess," he huffs, "I'm sorry."

"Love, please stop saying sorry," Louis says weakly, squeezing his hand, "that was a fucking disaster."

Harry sighs. "Not going according to plan..."

"Yes, which is why I need this weekend to go as planned and we can meet Zayn and tell him, again, like we planned," Louis says. 

"Okay," Harry says quietly, "are we going to be okay?" 

Louis looks at him intently, cupping Harry's face. "I love you. We'll be okay. We have to be."

Harry nods, nose red and eyes red-rimmed. "I love you too." 

Louis kisses him once, slow and soft, resting his forehead on Harry's. "Probably shouldn't have had sex in the living room, in their defence." 

Harry lets out a small laugh. Louis smiles. They'll be okay. Louis has established that they have something special. They have to be okay. 

___ 

The B&B in Camden is actually nicer than Louis expected it to be. The past week has been filled with death stares and disgusted looks, and Louis is surprised Zayn hadn't caught onto it. Hell, Niall and Liam went out of their way to ignore Louis especially. It hurt. Even though part of him felt like he deserved it, it still hurt. And it took a toll on all of them. So in hindsight, this short getaway of sorts was a good idea and he's glad he insisted on it. 

Niall did make sure to give them a warning though, yesterday, while they were at the pub. 

"Tell him as soon as you two come back. I can't believe you're going for a mini honeymoon when you're doing this shit," he huffs in frustration, "but whatever, just tell him." 

Louis could only nod along. They'd already said they would but he doesn't blame them for not believing Louis. 

This weekend is an escape before they have to face reality. He knows his emotions are sitting at the top of his head and tip of his tongue, and he feels like bursting. He just might. So, mini honeymoon or whatever the fuck it is, he's on board. For now at least, while he can. 

Louis looks at Harry who's spread across the bed, arms and legs splayed out like a starfish and smiles. Harry looks at him and smiles back. 

"It's a comfortable bed," Harry says, a twinkle in his eyes. There's still tension in the air between them, but Louis will do his best to ignore that right now. 

With that thought he shrugs off his coat and bounces onto the bed, over Harry, balancing himself with his arms on either side of Harry's face. 

"Hi," Louis says, wiggling his eyebrows. 

Harry grins. "Hi," he bites his lip, "you haven't kissed me in days."

"A crime," he says dryly.

Harry rolls his eyes. "You okay?" he asks Louis, moving some of his fringe away from his forehead. 

Louis nods. "None of that talk for now, yeah? Just wanna spend some time with you."

"Okay," Harry nods, "do I get a kiss now?" 

"You can take it if you want it," Louis teases. 

Harry snorts, tangling his fingers in Louis' hair and pulling his head down so that their lips meet. Louis sighs into it, his entire being relaxing. It's crazy that he has such an impact on Louis. 

They don't turn it dirty per se, even though their tongues dance together and Louis puts more of his weight onto him. Louis tilts his head to the side to get deeper, ending with a short peck and rub of their noses.

"Did I tell you that I love you today?" Harry mumbles, exchanging small short kisses. 

Louis smiles against his lips. "You did, but I don't mind hearing it again." 

Harry laughs. "I love you, Louis Tomlinson. Even through... Whatever we have to go through, I do love you."

Louis smiles softly. "I love you too."

"I'm not, like trying to sound cheesy or whatever. But I really do think the universe brought us together for a reason, no matter how complicated it's been so far."

Louis stares at him. He's beautiful as he always is. He's lucky to have Harry. Harry is right. It's complicated and it's messy, but he still feels so lucky to have him like this. 

"Lou?" he asks, cupping his cheek. 

Louis hums, leaning into the touch. 

"This is not a goodbye, right? Like, you didn't just make sure we came here so that it can be a goodbye, right?" 

Louis blinks, shaking his head slowly. "No," he says, "we're going to try and make this work."

Harry smiles, body relaxing, eyes relieved. "Good. Can we cuddle?" 

Louis moves off of Harry and goes underneath the duvet, Harry following his actions. 

"I feel like a horrible person," Harry says into his chest, "I'm sorry, I know you don't really wanna talk about it but I-- I can't help but think about it."

"You're not a horrible person," Louis says, looking down at him, "we've made bad decisions, but that doesn't mean we're bad people. I don't think so, at least..."

"Still, I-- I came into your lives and I ruined everything, basically," he mumbles, "if I had just stayed out of it, all of this wouldn't have happened in the first place."

Louis frowns. He shifts so that the movement makes Harry look up at him. "Then we wouldn't have met you and gotten to know you. I wouldn't have gotten to know you. I wouldn't have fallen in love with you. I don't want to imagine a life like that, not when I know what it's like to love you."

Harry smiles, resting his chin on Louis' chest. "You're really something, Tomlinson," he says, "sweet talking me to get in my pants..." 

Louis laughs. "Sure, that's what that was for," he pinches his nose, "no, but really, you're not a bad person, love. We're in a bit of a mess but we're going to sort this out, yeah?" 

"Yeah," Harry let's his head fall back onto Louis' pec, "can we sleep for a bit first?" 

Louis snorts. "Actually, that sounds pretty good. Brunch afterwards?" 

"Of course," Harry agrees, "now take off your clothes and let's get to business." 

Louis chuckles, separating from Harry to remove his clothes until he's just in his underwear, Harry doing the same. It's warm under the duvet again and Harry turns around this time, back to Louis. 

Louis drapes his arm around Harry's waist, pulling him in closer, pressing his lips to the back of Harry's neck. 

"We're napping at eight in the morning. Are we getting old?" Harry asks in a mumble, the duvet tucked over them neatly, Louis feeling comfortably warm. 

He grins into Harry's soft skin, nuzzling his short curls at the nape of his neck. "Do old people nap at eight in the morning? Thought they're awake by the crack of dawn."

Harry shrugs. "Then are we Gen Zs?" 

Louis huffs out a laugh. "Rude, love," he says, "let's go to sleep. We can just be Harry and Louis, you know? Not Gen Zs or old people." 

"Yeah, yeah," Harry says dismissively, "aren't we supposed to be sleeping?" 

Louis rolls his eyes fondly, sleep taking over in no time. 

___

It's lazy for the rest of the day. They spend time in bed mostly, and then make a promise to go to the orchid nearby and pick some fruit. It's so cheesy but Louis loves that it's a little cliché. He's always wanted this. He's been waiting for someone to spend moments like this with, and he couldn't be happier that he's found that with Harry. 

They stroll lazily behind a group of people as they tour the orchid and the vineyard nearby. 

"We get wine too. That's so cool," Harry says, grinning. 

Louis hums, squeezing his hand. "I like doing this with you. It's been only a few hours but I feel like I've gotten a proper glimpse of what we could be like together, not hiding, and out in the open." 

"Have our fake dates where we were just kidding ourselves, really, not enough for you to feel that?" Harry asks with a short laugh. 

"It did, but it's different now. I know we love each other, there's no one else here that we have to worry about. It makes me sound selfish, and I think that maybe I am, but I'm with you... If that means I'm selfish, then so be it." 

Harry smiles softly at him. He kisses Louis' temple sweetly. "You're such a sap," he teases, "I love you."

Louis really will never get tired of hearing that. He smiles. "I love you too." 

"Let's pick some peaches," Harry says, eyes on the plump, juicy peaches hanging from the trees. 

"Yeah, okay. Apples too?" 

Harry shrugs. "Sure."

____

They head back to their room with a basket of peaches, apples, nectarines and two bottles of red wine; merlot and pinotage. 

"The peaches remind me of your arse," Harry says randomly as they wash up the fruit. 

Louis barks out a laugh. "Funny, I was going to say the same thing about yours."

Harry bites back a grin. "Please," he scoffs, "mine is nothing compared to yours."

Louis let's out an offended gasp. "Don't say that, she can hear you," he whispers, cupping his bum. 

Harry laughs. "She?" 

"All of the things people find precious are called, 'she'. Like cars and ships-- all of that." 

Harry looks at him through the mirror above the sink, Louis now behind him, hands moving from his bum to his waist. "Are you comparing arses to ships?" 

Louis shrugs. "Both make loud noises and release gas-- or is it steam?" 

Harry scrunches his nose at Louis. "Do I have barnacles at the bottom of my arse too then?" 

Louis snorts. "Even if you did I'd still love you," he says, kissing his shoulder blade, "hows about a shower now?" 

Harry smiles. "Let me put this in the room first."

Louis nods, letting go of him so he can walk back into the room and place the fruits away. 

"So are we having fruits for supper then?" Louis asks once Harry is back in the bathroom, stripping himself of his shirt. 

"If you want to," Harry shrugs, pulling off his pants and underwear. 

Louis looks at him, biting his lip. "Or I could eat something else..."

Harry grins mischievously, opening the water in the shower and stepping in. Louis takes off his own shirt and the rest of his clothes.

He steps in with Harry, the water turning to just the right temperature. Harry winds his arms around Louis' neck, Louis' around his waist. 

"I love you," Louis says, feeling happier every time he says it. Harry grins, his dimples popping. 

"I love you too," Harry says, moving one of his hands to cup Louis' cheek, teasing his lips over Louis'. 

Louis closes the distance between them, Harry's lips softly slotted between his. Harry's fingers tangle into Louis' now wet hair. 

Louis tilts his head a bit as their tongues meet. He squeezes Harry's hips, but then Harry pulls away. Louis blinks. "What's wrong?" 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Harry asks him. 

Louis runs a hand through his hair, then wipes his face, wet with water. "Huh?" 

"Like, everything. I know it's been so much for you. You've been going through a lot and just as you accepted everything going on between us, Niall and Liam find out and now we have to tell Zayn and everything is moving so fast..." 

"Harry, I know," Louis sighs, "I know it's a lot and I'm feeling a lot, but I'd rather not talk about it. Please?" 

Harry purses his lips. "It just feels like you're going to burst."

"I probably will," Louis admits, nudging their noses together, smiling softly, "but I just want to be with you right now, baby."

Harry's cheeks flush a bit. "Fine, but we should talk about it." 

"I know, just wanna kiss you now though," he runs his lips over Harry's. Harry grins before kissing him again. 

Louis pulls him close again, his cock chubbing up. He pulls Harry closer by grabbing his bum, feeling Harry's cock now half hard against his own. 

"Hey," Louis mumbles, kissing down his jaw, "I'm still hungry..."

Harry huffs out a laugh. "So do something about it then."

Louis smirks, resting his forehead on Harry's. He backs Harry up against the shower wall. "Turn around, babe," Louis says, biting Harry's bottom lip, letting go with a little pop. 

Harry nods, resting his forehead on the wall, already panting. Louis gets on his knees, the floor of the shower not as uncomfortable as he thought it would be. 

Louis kisses his right bum cheek and Harry is already pushing back against him. He smirks, holding onto his left cheek, pulling it apart and revealing his pink hole, already fluttering. 

Louis kisses over his hole, Harry gasping softly, reaching behind himself to pull at Louis' hair. 

"Fuck," Harry whimpers when Louis finally breeches his hole with his tongue. 

Louis holds onto the soft flesh of his bum, fingernails digging into his skin as he pushes his tongue in deeper, thrusting it in and out. 

Harry moans loudly, pushing back onto Louis' tongue. He only pushes into him deeper, squeezing his bum cheek. He sucks on Harry's rim, spit wetting his entire hole and some down his chin. 

"Louis," he breathes out, "holy shit." 

Louis pulls away to breathe a bit, pecking down his bum and to the dimples at the back of his spine. He places an already wet finger to Harry's stretched hole, fluttering around nothing, pushing it in carefully. 

Harry's thighs shake as Louis pushes his tongue in next to his finger, thrusting both in and out slowly. He reaches for Harry's cock with his free hand and pulls him off. It doesn't take long for him to come all over the wall of the shower. 

Louis gets up, intertwining his hand with Harry's on the wall, his free hand stroking himself until he finishes over the small of Harry's back with a groan. 

"I love you," Harry says, trying to catch his breath. 

Louis smiles, resting his forehead on Harry's shoulder blade. "Love you too," Louis breathes out. 

_____

The next day they have breakfast in bed, true to its name, and then head out to the museum nearby. Louis didn't think he would ever willingly go to the museum until now. Turns out it's actually kind of nice, and Harry does a better job of explaining half of the artifacts in the museum than the actual tour guide. 

Louis didn't mind though, because they go off to the side and do their own thing, looking at different things, Harry rambling on about everything he sees. Louis smiles at him fondly. 

"What?" he asks, eventually catching on. 

"Nothing, you're cute like this," Louis says. 

"Only like this?" Harry pouts. 

"Of course," Louis says. 

Harry snorts. They get to a star wars exhibition, funnily enough, and a huge wave of guilt and sadness hits Louis. God he's tired of this up and down with him. 

He tries to push past it though. And it's fine, more or less, for the day. They eat at a small Cafe and then at the B&B for supper before ending in just a simple cuddle after some "love making" to finish off the day. 

It's on the last day that Louis' emotions finally take their toll. They've been playing in Louis' head in a chaotic way, so much so that he didn't even know what to feel. He just knew he had to push it away. 

It happens when he sees a message Zayn sent the night before... When he and Harry were probably... Well, uh, fucking. Making love, as Harry now calls it. 

_ Hey, bro. Hope you're having fun at your boring work conference. Love you lots, hope you know that. _

_ Oh, and when you come back, we should do something together, just the two of us :)  _

Louis hears the shower run from the ensuite where Harry is bathing. He feels fucking horrible. Awful. He drops his head into his hands, shifting to the end of the bed.

They're ignoring it and Louis knows that. It's serious between them. It's very serious and it probably always was. And now they said they love each other for Christ's sake, how much more serious does it have to get for them to tell Zayn? Maybe waiting a few days and a weekend together first was selfish, like Niall and Liam said. 

They have to be honest but both of them have been stalling and putting it off, too afraid to deal with the consequences. It's just, Louis isn't stupid. He knows it's getting harder and worse the more he delays this. He thought he could have a little more time to escape reality, you know? 

He just... There's the fact that he could lose Harry now too. What if Zayn gives him an ultimatum? How can he choose between someone he's pretty sure is the love of his life and his best friend who's practically family to him? 

He knows what Harry and him started was a mistake, in a way. They weren't supposed to do it but it happened, and now Louis wouldn't change that because what he has with Harry is the probably the realest thing he's felt in a very long time.

So maybe if Zayn knows the extent of his feelings towards Harry, he would be more understanding? Or maybe that's just wishful thinking. 

He sighs to himself. Now that Liam and Niall know and they've scolded and reprimanded them for doing what they're doing, it's getting more and more harder to justify any of their actions. 

They always had to tell him, but now it's harder to ignore and they're still ignoring it. They're still stalling. This weekend is stalling, whether he tried to deny it or not. Louis shakes his head, wiping a hand over his face. Harry trudges back into the bedroom then, clearly noticing the expressions displayed across Louis' face. 

"Hey, you okay?" he asks, sitting next to Louis, resting his head on Louis' shoulder. 

Louis sighs again. "We had time to tell him," he says, "Liam and Niall are right and we're still ignoring it;  _ we've _ been ignoring it. As soon as we realized how we felt, we didn't even tell him straight away and he has a right to know, like they said."

"Yeah, we agreed we would though, love," Harry reminds him, "this weekend has been amazing with you and I-- I want to do this all the time. I don't want to hide this anymore. Zayn doesn't have to be kept in the dark any longer, we know that now, and I think that it'll be some time before he comes around. But he will once he sees how happy we make each other, don't you think?"

Louis grabs his hand and nods hesitantly. He can only fucking hope so at this point. "I love you," he says, the words still making his stomach flutter, "we're gonna do the right thing. It's about time."

"Yes, we should have done it a while ago like they said, but we can't change that. When we go back we are going to ask him to sit down with us, and we can explain everything to him from start to finish, like we agreed we would do, okay?" 

Louis takes a deep breath. What Liam and Niall said has been playing in the back of his mind the whole time, regardless of how much they enjoyed it, much like the guilt of betraying Zayn does whenever he and Harry are together. 

Now though, they're going to do the right thing. Louis pulls out his phone from his pocket and opens Zayn's contact. 

"What are you doing?" Harry asks, lifting his head off of Louis' shoulder. 

"I'm texting him now to tell him that we should all sit down and talk about something for supper on Tuesday, maybe," he explains and types out just that. 

Zayn's reply comes not even two minutes later: 

_ Yah, sure. Everything okay?  _

Louis huffs. Everything is not okay, but he doesn't want to alarm Zayn right now. 

_ Everything is good. We just wanna talk about some stuff with you.  _

He replies with: 

_ Okay cool. We meaning you and Harry right? And are we meeting at our place then for this supper lol?  _

"We should do it at ours. If Zayn gets too upset I don't want him storming out of yours to drive somewhere, you know?" 

"That's fine," Harry agrees. 

_ Yeah, our place. Harry will come over. Everything is fine though. Don't worry. _

Zayn replies with a thumbs up emoji and a,  _ 'enjoy the rest of your conference!' _ which worsens his guilt. They really need to stop lying. 

"We'll be okay," Harry kisses his cheek. 

"We will be," Louis says earnestly. 

They have to be. 

____ 

Monday feels like it takes ages to get over with. Probably because they're waiting for Tuesday to come. Honestly, Louis only chose Tuesday because he knows Zayn works till late on Mondays. 

They don't see Niall and Liam though, which is a plus. They don't need that right now. They're going to do the right thing, their death glares aside. 

So finally Tuesday comes and Harry gets to the flat before Zayn does. They're expecting Zayn in only an hour, so in the meantime they get the table ready and start on the food. 

"What are you making again?" Louis asks, practically sweating through his shirt. 

"Penne à la vodka," Harry says, passing him a worried look, "you okay?" 

"Just shitting myself," he replies sarcastically, "you okay?"

"Fine," Harry says, mixing the sauce then switching the stove off before stepping out of the kitchen and in front of Louis. 

"Not nervous?" Louis asks. 

"Uh, I am. But, um, I'm trying to keep as calm as I can right now," Harry says. "We got this, right? 

"Yeah, we got this baby," Louis says, letting out a breath, holding Harry close by his waist, rubbing their noses together. 

Harry smiles, snaking his arms around Louis' neck and leaning forward to kiss him, calming Louis' nerves the slightest bit. Louis deepens it a bit and then--

"What the hell?" Zayn's voice comes from behind them. 

No. No, no, no. Fuck. This wasn't supposed to happen. They're supposed to sit him down and talk to him first. This can't happen again.  _ Again _ . 

Louis slowly turns around, dropping his hands from Harry's waist quickly. 

"Zayn, you're early. I thought--" 

"I got off early," he cuts Louis off, eyes narrowed, "did I see things or were you two just kissing?" 

"We-- we were," Louis sighs, wincing, "but we can explain."

Zayn lets out a scoff. "Yes, please do explain to me why you were kissing my ex-boyfriend in our flat."

"Zayn, it's not-- it's complicated," Harry says, voice shaking, "that's why we wanted to talk to you today and explain things."

"Explain things? You've kissed before this then?" 

Louis nods, gut filling with shame. "Yeah, I-- like he said, it's complicated. We, uh. We've done more... Uh, you weren't supposed to walk in on that, obviously."

"More?" he glowers at them. "What-- what the hell do you mean?" 

Okay, he's angry. Anyone would be if they had to walk in on their best friend and ex kissing. 

Zayn's eyes fill with hurt. "You've slept together?" he realizes.

"Yes, but I swear it's not that black and white, Zayn," Harry says quickly, "we-- why don't you sit down and we can talk about this?" 

"Sit down?" he laughs coldly, shaking his head. "What explanation could you possibly have that would make this okay?" 

Louis opens his mouth to reply but Zayn speaks again. 

"I would never do that to you, Louis," he continues, "you know how much I felt for him. You out of all people knew how hard it was for me to get over him... Fuck, and now I find out you slept together? What the fuck?" 

Louis' eyes fill with tears. "Zayn, I know. Fuck, I know. I'm so, so sorry. We didn't mean for this to happen--" 

He doesn't even know the full story and he's reacting this way now. Fuck. 

"And Harry, what the hell? You break up with me and go onto my best friend?" 

Harry frowns. "I know this seems bad but it's not just some sleazy one night stand or fucking or whatever."

Zayn's chest rises and falls rapidly. "What?" 

There's silence and Louis looks at Harry, feeling helpless. 

"We're... Together?" Louis reveals, squeezing his eyes shut for a bit before looking at Zayn again. 

"You're... Together?" he asks slowly. 

Louis and Harry both nod. 

"You're dating each other?" he asks, eyes moving back and forth between Harry and Louis. 

They both nod again. 

Zayn lets out a humourless laugh, shaking his head. "Fuck," he wipes his hand over his face. 

"Zayn--" 

"How long?" he asks, effectively cutting Louis off. "How long have you been dating each other?" 

Louis sighs, swallowing before answering. "Um, a few... Months, I guess." 

He watches Zayn's eyes fill with anger. 

"But we were supposed to tell you today," Harry says quickly. 

"Tell me what, exactly?" Zayn asks, heated, "tell me that you're dating and you want me to throw a fucking party for you two?" 

"Zayn," Harry says helplessly, "I know it was hard getting over what we had--" 

"Seems like it was harder for me, more than you," he bites back. 

"Zayn, come on mate, you started dating a few months after you two broke up too."

"I didn't jump onto my ex's best friend," Zayn grits out at Harry. 

"That's fair," Harry says quietly, "but we didn't mean for it to happen, you have to understand that. We just… It just happened one day."

"And you never stopped to think, hey maybe this is fucked up? Maybe it's weird to fuck when I dated this guy's best friend? And you, Louis? Never once occurred to you that it's fucked up to date your best friend's ex?" 

"It did. Fuck, Zayn. It did," Louis says quietly, "I'm sorry. Please let us explain this to you properly." 

"No," he says in disbelief. "God. I can't even look at either of you right now. And you thought, what, that we'd have dinner together and everything would be okay?" 

"No, we didn't. We just didn't want you to find out that way," Louis says, trying to keep calm. 

"How could you do this, Louis?" Zayn asks, shaking his head sadly. 

Louis feels himself tear up properly, vision blurring. "Zayn, I swear to you, whatever we have, I never did it to hurt you. None of this was to hurt you."

Zayn swallows, looking close to crying. "I'm leaving," he announces. 

"Zayn--" 

"No, I can't be here right now. I'm-- I'm going to Liam's. Don't follow me," he warns before turning around sharply and pulling the door opened, walking out. 

The door slams shut, making Louis and Harry jump a bit. 

Louis falls to carpet, bringing his knees up to his chest, wiping his nose with his sleeves. 

"Why does this keep happening?" Louis asks no one in particular, frustrated. 

Harry sits down next to him, sniffing. "That was a lot," he says, voice shaky, "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," Louis says a little tiredly, a little confused and angry and sad. 

Harry places a hand on his shoulder.

"I need to talk to him by myself, I think," Louis says. 

"Okay," Harry agrees, swallowing. 

"Maybe we should just... Um, like, keep our distance for a bit? Until I talk to him, at least. It might be a bit much for him to see us together right now, and I don't want to make this worse."

Harry's hand falls from his shoulder. Louis looks at him. He looks crestfallen-- like he's going to burst out crying. "I'm not ending things," Louis says quickly, "fuck, Harry, I'm not doing that."

Louis pulls him into his chest, resting his head over Harry's. "I'm not giving this up, remember?" 

Harry nods against his shoulder. 

"I truly just think we need to keep our distance until I talk things through with him because I need-- I need to talk to him, H," Louis says softly. 

Harry wraps his arms around Louis' waist, still sniffing. "I love you." 

"Harry, I love you too," Louis says earnestly. He does. Everything is fucked, but he knows he does. Louis lets out a sigh. 

This isn't how he pictured any of this going. 

____ 

Louis doesn't see Zayn for the next two days. He only knows he's alive and well because Liam tells him as much. 

He texts Harry to say that too, but other than that, they don't really speak. Harry sends him a few random texts now and then that he tries to reply to, but most of the time he doesn't.

He meant what he said; he loves Harry and he's not going to give them up. But he also needs some time to figure shit out with Zayn. Because his heart hurts. It hurts. And he can't even imagine what Zayn is actually going through. 

It doesn't help that Niall doesn't answer any of his texts either. He's pretty sure if Zayn weren't at Liam's, Liam wouldn't say anything to Louis either. 

It sucks to know that the most important people in your life practically hate you. And that the other most important person in his life is being ignored by Louis. 

He's just-- he's going to figure this out with Zayn and then Niall and Liam, and then he'll talk to Harry and they figure shit out. They will. He's ignored the Zayn issue for too long now. He can't do it anymore. 

On the third day, Louis comes home from work to find Zayn sitting on the couch, skin pale and beard outgrown. Louis approaches him carefully, shutting the door and dropping his briefcase. 

"Hey," Louis says quietly. 

Zayn doesn't look at him, just stares at a blank TV. Louis gulps. 

"Can we, um, can we talk?" Louis asks, pushing his hands into his back pockets on his jeans. 

"I have nothing to say to you," Zayn says, voice robotic. 

"Zayn, please," Louis begs, "please don't shut me out without talking to me first. Don't end this friendship because of a stupid decision I made."

"You ended it the day you thought it was okay to sleep with Harry, Louis," Zayn says dryly, "I just... I can't fucking believe you could do that."

"I know," Louis says, swallowing the shame, "I know, and it's fucked up what we did. I just... We really, honestly, didn't mean for it go so far."

Zayn finally looks up at him. "Go so far?" he repeats, "what do you mean?" 

Louis wipes a hand over his face. "We... Um, slept together first," he winces admitting it, "but we-- we developed feelings for each other. Maybe ones that were already there--" 

"Already there?" Zayn says again, like he's not hearing Louis correctly. "Were you going behind my back before we'd even broke up?" 

"No-- fucking hell, I wouldnt do that," Louis says, frowning. 

"So you just decided to fall for him or whatever months later?" 

"I didn't actively decide," he amends softly, "it just kind of happened, Z."

"God. That's such bullshit," Zayn spits out, getting up, "you went behind my back and lied to me for months-- both of you did. "What do you expect me to do? Forgive you?" 

"I don't expect that, and I get it. I do. But we make each other happy, Z. I haven't been this happy in such a long time. We could all talk, and you could see that for yourself." 

"You know I also never felt happier when I was with him," Zayn states, "you knew how much I loved him and yet you still did this shit."

Louis frowns. "Do you still have feelings for him?" 

Zayn stares at him. "You know this is not what it's about, Louis. I've told you before that I got over him and us. It's the principles and lying that I'm upset about most of all. It's so wrong and goes against everything, really, to do what you two did. I feel like such an idiot. I trusted you with him from the beginning and lord knows when you actually fell for him." 

"I can't tell you how or what to feel and I'll never try," Louis says, "but please don't end our friendship or yours with Harry for that matter. We never did any of this with the intention of hurting you."

"Then why do it again? Why would you fuck again? That doesn't make sense."

"Because we love each other," he blurts out, "and we didn't mean for it to mean anything more. The morning after the first time, I told him we shouldn't do this again and we agreed we wouldn't. But then I couldn't stop thinking about him and he couldn't stop thinking about me, and we both tried to push it away. Really, we did. But we felt so much for each other, Z."

"You two are in love?" he asks, tone quiet, frowning at Louis. 

Louis huffs. No more lies. "Yes," he says, "and I've-- he, um, he makes me really happy. I've never felt this way before..."

Zayn shakes his head. "You know how I felt about him-- how much I felt for him. And yet somehow you still thought it was okay to go and fall in love with him. Do you want me to just be okay with it? Watch you two be all in love and whatever every single day?"

"I don't expect you to immediately be okay with it. Neither one of us do. And I know this is going to be weird for some time. I'll give you as much space as you need," Louis assures him. 

"And what if I can never be okay with it?" he counters. "You two hid this away from me for months, Louis.  _ Months _ . Do you know how stupid I feel right now?" 

"We didn't know what we were doing, Zayn. That's the only reason why we didn't tell you, and it's a shitty excuse that I only realized now. We were confused and didn't know how to navigate what we felt for each other," Louis tries to explain. 

Zayn scoffs."Yeah, you should have told me the first time it happened, Louis. Liam says they caught you two as well? Are you two really that horny you can't even keep it in your pants for that long?" 

"It's not like that," Louis argues, keeping his tone calm, "we love each other and honestly, the timing was just off for both of those things."

Zqyn scoffs. "How am I supposed to ever trust you again, Louis? How do I know that you didn't look at him differently when we were going out? Hell, how do I know that Harry didn't look at you differently when we went out?" 

"Because we didn't," he says quickly. He sighs, deciding to sit on the armchair because standing became too awkward. "Look, Zayn, I thought he was cute when I first saw him. I won't lie about that. But as soon as I realized he was with you, that changed, and I didn't want to pursue anything with him afterwards. I'd never do that to you."

"But you'd wait until we broke up and then go for each other?" he raises a brow at him. "I just-- I just can't believe this."

"I know," he says sympathetically, "but Zayn, you know me, you know I'd never do this to you, ever. Harry became something important and special to me and that's why I risked it all. I would never do this to you to hurt you. You know me better than that. I wouldn't have done this if I didn't know we would have something so important and so, so amazing with each other."

Zayn' jaw twitches. "I thought I knew you, but I don't think I do anymore. The thing is, regardless of whatever I'd feel if it were your ex, even if they'd come onto me, I'd stop it because it's wrong. You've broken so many rules and it's-- it's weird."

"I don't think you understand the extent of our feelings towards each other. Neither one of us would hurt you willingly, Z. I'm-- I'm pretty sure he's it for me, actually," Louis admits quietly. No more lies.

"God, what the fuck, Louis? Harry? It had to be Harry?" he asks. "I'd never felt that way about anyone else either and you bloody know that. I was thinking about settling down with him for God's sake, and now you tell me he's it for you?"

Louis pinches the bridge of his nose. "I know it's not something you want to hear, but that's just how much he means to me, Zayn. How much we mean to each other. So much so that we risked everything to be with each other."

Zayn scoffs bitterly, clapping his hands twice sarcastically. "Wow, well thanks for such a thoughtful gesture, Louis. Would you two like a medal for it?"

Louis winces. "I'm sorry, Zayn. I'm so fucking sorry. I know he was a turning point in your life and he meant a lot to you. But you two broke up for a reason, right?"

"Yeah and he's allowed to date other people. But why the fuck did he choose to date my best friend? Does he not realize that it makes him look like a--" he sucks in a breath, jaw clenching.

"Don't finish that sentence, Zayn," he warns in a firm but quiet voice, "you know he's not like that."

"I thought I knew both of you before thi,s but clearly I don't," he says sadly. "I think… If you two want to be together, then whatever, do it. But I think I've just-- I've outgrown you as a friend. You can do whatever you'd like to, but l don't want to be in either one of your lives from now on. And I don't think Niall wants to either. I don't know about Liam. I don't know how you could ever think that lying and doing something so messed up would ever be okay."

Panic settles into his stomach. "Don't say that, Zayn. Please don't do this. You're my best fucking friend. I know you're upset but we can work something out. We've been friends for over a decade for God's sake," he says desperately.

"And yet you had no problem betraying me the way that you did," Zayn bites back, "do I really need a friend like that in my life?"

"Zayn, please. Please don't do this. I would never ever hurt you intentionally. Whatever happened between us was so fast and I couldn't even comprehend it. All I knew is that I wanted to be with him and I should have told you that the minute I realized--" he cuts himself off, "would it have made a difference if I told you months ago?"

Zayn regards him carefully. "I don't know," he says, "maybe."

And that's the first time Louis feels regret with this whole thing. He regrets not telling Zayn sooner. He'd felt guilty before, sure, but never regret. 

"I'm sorry," is all he can say, "I get why you're feeling the way you are. I hope you have it in you to forgive me one day. I'm sorry I was such a selfish friend. I'm sorry I hurt you like that. I'm just... I'm so sorry." 

Zayn looks away from him. "I'm going to my room," he rasps, getting off the couch and dragging his feet to his room. 

And Louis wants to stop him but at this point, he just doesn't know what to say anymore. Dejected, he collapses against the back of the chair and rubs his hands over his face. 

___

So he's not ignoring Harry per se. He did ask for space after all. He's just so lost on what to do. He's losing his best friend of over a decade, and his life is falling apart right under his nose. He doesn't know what the fuck he can do to stop it. 

And Harry -- as lovely as he is -- isn't going to help the situation. If he sees Harry, he'll for sure have a breakdown and he doesn't even want to know what that'll lead to. 

Still, Harry sends him good morning messages and random ones maybe every second day for about ten days. Zayn is staying with Louis, but he isn't really there. He ignores Louis entirely, even when Louis tries to talk to him. 

Feeling helpless, scared and lost, he texts Liam asking to meet up. Liam has been more... Lenient of all of them, and Louis isn't quite sure why, but he isn't complaining either. He's just glad to have someone partially on his side. 

They meet at the pub and Liam has this look on his face, like he wants to ask something but is holding back. 

"What is it?" Louis finally asks. 

"Are you and Zayn okay?" 

Louis shakes his head. "That's why I asked you to meet me. I don't know what the hell to do, Liam."

"What did he say?" 

"He said he's outgrown me as a friend and that Harry and I can do whatever we want to, he's just not going to be there anymore," he repeats robotically. 

"He said that?" Liam blinks, surprised. 

Louis nods. 

"Shit," he murmurs, "I just thought he needed time or something. I mean, I'm still upset at both of you but I'm not-- I don't want to lose either of you as friends. Though I understand how it's different for him."

"Okay, well, what do I do now then?" Louis sighs. 

"Give it time, maybe? I think he's just angry. Niall is too. He needs some time. It's a bit shit doing what you did, especially when you trust the person so much."

"I know," he says, a little tired of hearing it. From himself and other people. 

"Not saying it to kick you when you're down. I just get it. I was hung up on Zayn for a while after we slept together, did you know that?" 

Louis shakes his head, surprised. 

"Yeah, I mean... I guess I'm glad we're friends now and stuff, but I really liked him and I don't know, I guess I know what heartbreak feels like from both of you, in a way."

Louis nods, even though he isn't sure how. "Thank you," he says sincerely anyway. 

"Yeah, look, maybe try and talk to him again and give it some time? I don't think he'll want to end your friendship like that, yeah?" 

Louis nods again, sighing once more. He can only hope so. 

____

So Louis gives it time. He tries to talk to Zayn again and Zayn only replies if it's something important like groceries or some shit like that, but it's progress for Louis. 

Then, on a Tuesday afternoon, he gets a call from his mum while he's in the kitchen, Zayn in the lounge, doing some work on his laptop. 

"Mum?" he answers. The first thing he hears is her crying, alarm bells going off in his head. "Mum, what's wrong?"

"It's Lottie. She-- she was in an accident and-- and she's in hospital."

Louis drops the cloth onto the floor, body shaking. "What? Mum-- mum, is she okay?" 

"I don't know. The doctors said they don't know. She's in surgery right now."

Louis is already heading to the table to grab his keys. "Tell me where you are right now. I'm driving there."

When his mum gives him the name of the hospital, he slips on his coat, even though it's not too cold outside, and turns the door knob. 

"Louis, what's wrong?" Zayn asks before he can get out. 

"Lottie, she's... She's in hospital. Was in an accident," he explains shakily, "I have to go." 

"Fuck. Give me your keys. I'll drive," Zayn demands, jumping off the couch. Louis doesn't have it in him to fight or argue so he gives Zayn the keys. He follows Zayn to the car and they head to the hospital. They arrive about twenty minutes later and when Louis reaches his mum, he hugs her tightly. 

"What happened?" Louis asks, crying. 

"She was in an accident. Apparently some idiot knocked over a stop sign and they didn't replace it so she didn't stop when she was supposed to and--" she cuts herself off with a sob. 

"Oh, fuck," Louis curses, pulling her into his chest again for a hug. 

He can feel Zayn standing behind them. Louis doesn't know what to say to him right now, so he doesn't say anything. 

They wait for at least another hour before a doctor comes out of the surgery room. Zayn is sitting opposite them quietly. He doesn't have to stay here but he is. Louis is so grateful for him. 

"How is she?" his mum asks. 

"She's not looking that great," he says regrettably, "but rest assured, we are trying our best to make sure she survives."

"How the hell are you doing that by being out here then?" Louis seethes.

The doctor seems taken aback. "The nurses are running some procedures before I can head back in--" 

"Aren't you supposed to be supervising? What kind of surgeon are you?" he asks, angry.

"Louis," Zayn warns softly. 

Louis looks at him, jaw clenched. He turns around and hears his mum say something else before the doctor walks away. When he looks up again, he sees Harry and he instantly feels relieved. 

Harry practically runs to him and envelopes him into a hug, squeezing him tightly. Louis hugs back, crying into his shoulder. 

"Lou, it's okay. I'm so sorry," he says softly, "I'm here for you."

Louis tucks his face into his neck, arms tightening around Harry's waist. It feels so good to be back in his arms, to have him here again. Louis missed him so much. 

"Shh," Harry rubs his back, "it's gonna be okay, Lou."

Louis takes a few deep breaths, feeling someone else's hand on his back. He pulls away and turns around. His mum is crying too. 

Louis sighs, pulling away completely from Harry in order to hug her again. Harry still keeps his hand on Louis' back, rubbing it. Louis' grateful for him too. 

"Stay positive, mum," Louis says shakily. 

"I know, love. I know," Jay says, patting his lower back before pulling away.

"Un, can I get you two coffee or something?" Zayn asks, walking towards them. 

"I'm okay, Zayn. Thank you," his mum declines.

Zayn looks at Louis expectantly. "I'm-- I'm okay," he says with a small smile. 

"Harry?" Zayn asks. 

Harry looks at him with wide eyes. "I'm okay. Thank you."

Zayn nods and excuses himself to get coffee for himself. Louis sits down next to his mum, Harry on his other side. 

Minutes seem like hours when you're waiting in anticipation for something so important. His mum decides to take a walk and get some sandwiches from the vending machine. 

Louis leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, hands on either side of his face. Harry wraps one arm around his waist and rests his chin on Louis' shoulder. He drops a kiss to his shoulder. 

Louis takes his free hand and intertwines their fingers. "I missed you."

Harry smiles against his jumper, coat long gone. He's pretty sure he's sweating through his jumper. "I missed you too."

Louis swallows. He feels like he's been put through an emotional blender these past few... Weeks, probably. 

"Everything will be okay," Harry says, squeezing his waist. "I love you."

And that-- that just makes him want to burst out crying. "I love you too," he croaks back. 

It's only then does he realize Zayn is sitting right there, opposite them, looking as awkward as ever. Louis is too tired and emotionally drained to care about how close he and Harry look though. He needs Harry here with him. 

An hour and half a cheese and tomato sandwich later they get word from the doctor that she's okay and that she's stable. She's going to be unconscious for some time, but she's okay. 

Louis lets out the biggest sigh of relief, his mum practically collapsing into his arms, relieved too. She contacts the rest of the siblings to inform them about the news and Louis offers to drive her home. 

So they drive home, Harry in the car with them because he came with a taxi. It's silent up until they drop Louis' mum off, promising to meet bright and early the next morning at the hospital. 

"Dropping you off at home, Harry?" Zayn asks, breaking the silence. 

Harry looks at Louis through the rear view mirror. "I, um, can I-- can I stay with Louis for a bit?" 

Louis would like that. But part of him knows he shouldn't. Zayn looks away from the mirror, eyes focused on the road ahead. 

"Not my call," is what he replies with. 

And God, Louis is tired. He's so tired of everything. He just wishes, in that moment, that he'd never met Harry, that neither of them met Harry. And he feels so fucking awful for thinking it because it's not his fault. It's not his fault that he's this amazing, kind, funny guy that any person would fall in love with. 

"Lou?" Harry asks, unsure. 

He squeezes his eyes shut. He loves Harry more than anything but-- 

"Stay," he rasps out before he can stop himself, "please." 

Harry nods, letting out a breath. 

Louis doesn't look at Zayn to see his reaction. He'd rather not. 

When they get home Louis goes to the bathroom to freshen up, and when he walks back out, Niall and Liam are there along with Harry and Zayn. 

Liam walks up to him and hugs him. Louis hugs back, body tired. "I'm sorry," he says. 

"It's fine. She's-- she's okay," he says, pulling away. 

Niall looks at him hesitantly before hugging him too. Louis lets out a surprised breath. He spots Harry smiling at him over Niall's shoulder. 

"She's gonna be okay?" Niall asks. 

Louis nods. "Um, I really appreciate you guys coming over," he says, giving them a tight-lipped smile. 

"Yeah, I-- we probably owe you and Harry an apology," Niall says, "but not tonight, yeah? Let's just be here. What do you want?" 

"Honestly?" Louis asks. They nod. He sighs. "I want to sleep. And I want to wake up tomorrow and see my sister. That's all I need right now."

He hopes he hasn't pushed them away. He just doesn't have it in him to deal with everything right now. He's so, so tired. 

"Okay," Niall nods and looks at Liam, "we'll come and see you guys tomorrow if that's okay?" 

"Yeah, it's okay," Louis says with a small smile, "thank you-- uh, thanks." 

"Okay, um, we should go. I'm sorry this happened, Louis," Liam says, hugging him again. 

Louis nods, patting his back. He hugs Niall and watches Zayn walk them out. Harry walks to him, steps hesitant. 

"Come here," Harry says, opening his arms. Louis walks into them and tucks his nose into Harry's neck, holding him close. 

Zayn walks in again and sees them hugging. Louis doesn't pull away but he does raise his head to look at him properly. He gives him a smile, one that's apologetic, he hopes. 

Zayn looks at them and clears his throat. Harry pulls away. "I'm really sorry about what happened today, Louis," Zayn says, walking to them with his hands in his pockets. 

"Yeah, thank you for being there and driving. Just... Thank you," Louis says sincerely. 

Zayn nods, pursing his lips. "You would have done the same for me."

"I know. It's just, you know with everything--" 

"It's fine," he cuts him off, "um, is Harry going to stay, or?" 

"Uh," Louis looks at him. 

Harry shrugs. "I'll take the couch if you want me to," he tells Zayn. 

Zayn shakes his head. "Again, not my call."

"I can leave but I don't wanna leave Louis alone right now," Harry says quietly. 

"Harry, hey, it's okay," Louis takes his hand. "Go home and get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" 

Harry frowns but nods. "If that's what you want." 

Honestly, he'd love if Harry could stay with him for the night but he understands the situation must be really awkward for Zayn right now, and he doesn't want to make things worse. He's already been kind enough to Louis so far. 

"I'll text you, okay?" Louis says. 

Harry's frown deepens. "Promise?" 

Right. He's been ignoring Harry for the most part. "I promise. Um, meet me tomorrow morning at hospital, yeah? I'll probably be there as early as possible."

"Okay," Harry smiles softly, "it's gonna be okay, yeah? She's okay."

Louis lets out a breath as Harry squeezes his hand. He feels himself calm down a bit. It's crazy how much Harry makes him... Feel. 

"Thank you for everything," Louis says. 

Harry steps away. Louis misses the warmth of his hand. "Bye, Lou," he says softly.

Louis wants to kiss him, hug him again, touch him. He doesn't. "Bye, Harry." 

Harry walks away and Louis makes a mental note to text him and ask him if he gets home safe. 

"I'm sorry," Zayn says, "I know you've been going through a lot."

"Zayn, you have too," Louis says, "it's fine."

"I'm glad she's okay," he says. 

"I'm glad you were there with me. I needed it. I didn't deserve it. But I needed it, so I appreciate it."

Zayn nods shortly. "Um, I should probably go to sleep. You should too."

"Yeah, goodnight," he smiles. 

Louis goes to sleep and texts Harry. 

_ Hey. Thank you for being there for me. I really appreciate it. Hope you're home safe. _

He doesn't know why he isn't as affectionate and warm and all lovey dovey as he normally is when he texts Harry, but he also realizes that he hasn't done that in a while. 

He thought loving Harry made everything clearer, but now he's realizing that he's still as confused as ever. 

If they carry on their relationship, the tension and awkwardness is something they'll have to feel for a long time; if not all the time. Zayn has already distanced himself and said he's outgrown Louis, and this proved he hadn't given up yet. Is Louis willing to do something stupid to jeopardize all of it again? This could be a start of fixing things with Zayn, but does that mean he gets to keep everything with Harry too? 

_____

It's sad that it took Louis' sister being in an accident for Zayn to talk to him properly, but he isn't complaining about it per se. He wouldn't say they're back to normal, really. But he's talking. He asks about Lottie, mostly. And the topic of Harry is avoided completely. 

Liam says he and Niall spoke to Harry personally and they've apologized to him personally too. Harry being Harry said he didn't hold anything against them. Louis essentially said the same thing. No, he didn't like being ignored, but he doesn't blame them either. 

They visit Lottie during the week with Louis. She's doing fine, just still in pain because she fractured her ribs on her right. But she's doing okay and she's stable, so Louis is happy. She's released at the end of the week, at least. 

But then things get weird again. They aren't focused on Lottie again; or rather, Louis isn't focused only on her again. She's gone back to her place and their mum is taking care of her for a bit. Louis will visit her when he can. He's at work, which is also a good thing, because that's another distraction. 

He's trying to speak to Harry as much as possible but everything feels so tainted and weird now. He still loves Harry. That doesn't just change. He's just worried that what they have isn't meant to be for the long run anymore. 

He knows he said he wouldn't give them up, but he's starting to think that that's the only way things can be okay again. Harry won't have to be miserable all the time because Louis isn't talking to him as much and his ex doesn't hate him, and his new friends don't really see him much anymore. It must be horrible for him too. 

Maybe they're star-crossed lovers and they won't end up together, but maybe that's for the best. 

As soon as he comes to the sad realization, he asks Harry to meet him later. Zayn said he'd be out working late today so they'll have enough time to talk about things. 

_____

Harry looks happy when he sees Louis, which is the worst thing. He goes in for a hug and Louis hugs back. But when he pulls away and looks at Louis, he can tell something is wrong. 

"What is it? Is Lottie okay?" Harry asks. 

"She's fine. Uh, maybe you should sit down?" Louis suggests.

Harry's face falls, like he knows where Louis is going with this. He looks like he's going to cry. Louis swallows. 

He... Should end it. Harry is the love of his life and he can't imagine a life without him. But maybe... Maybe he has to, and he should do the right thing for the first time since this shit started. Because every time he looks at Harry now, he thinks about the fact that he lost his best friend and that's not fair on either of them.

"Harry," he starts, a lump in his throat.

"Don't do it, Louis," he croaks, "you promised we'd be okay... We promised each other."

"I know. I know what I said, but I didn't know back then what a fucking mess this would be either," he says sadly.

"So, what, this is my fault? I told you way back then that I don't want to come in between you and Zayn, and I gave you an out. We were both doing this willingly."

"I know and I-- I love you. That hasn't changed," he says, his voice cracking.

"Then why are you doing this?" Harry asks, eyes searching Louis' frantically, getting off the couch.

"Because he's my family, Harry," he says softly, "and I never wanted to lose him. And him being there for me this week--" he shakes his head, "I can't lose him, Harry."

"So you'd rather lose me?" Harry asks, his tone sullen. "You promised me we'd be okay."

"I know. It's not like that fuck, I'm sorry Harry," he huffs, "I know this isn't what you were expecting or what you wanted, nor is what I wanted but I'm hoping-- I'm hoping maybe one day we could be friends again?"

Harry lets out a laugh, the sound hollow and empty. "You said I'm the love of your life, but you're doing this to us. And you think that maybe, one day, we could be friends after this?" he asks incredulously. "Louis, I fucking love you more than anything. If you need more space, I can do that. If you want us to take a break for a bit, I can do that too. As much as I'd hate it, I'd do it. But I never thought you'd do this. I never thought you'd end us."

Tears stream down his face. "You said we had something special. You said you wouldn't give up on us," he starts to sob and Louis feels his bottom lip tremble.

"I'm sorry," he whimpers, "I'm so sorry, Harry. But maybe it's for the best, don't you think? Maybe we're each other's soul mates, but we can't be together because maybe-- maybe we've been doomed from the start. God, Harry, the start of our relationship was so wrong and tainted. How did we ever think this was going to work and everything would be okay?"

Harry lets out a louder sob, hiding his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket. Louis steps forward on instinct only for Harry to step backwards. "I trusted you," he says shakily, "you're ruining everything. Why?"

"Because he was there for me. He was there for me when no one else was, and again even though I hurt him. He understands me like no one else does. And I betrayed him like it was nothing. Do you know how fucking horrible that is? I was one of the people he trusted the most -- which he doesn't do easily, by the way -- and I just turned around and did that to him."

"We both did, Louis," Harry bites, "he meant a lot to me too, but I risked it all for you." Harry shakes his head again. "I know you're hurting, and I know this has been a lot for you, but it's been a lot for me too, Louis. I want to be there for you but no one was there for me." 

Louis' heart drops. "I'm sorry, Harry. You're right, I haven't been there for you," he admits, "and I have no excuses for that."

"You were hurt too, Louis. I would never use it against you. I just thought... I thought we would make it work." 

Harry looks at him, eyes wet again, a new bout of tears ready to spill. "You ruined it, just so you know. It wasn't because of Zayn or Niall or Liam. If you really loved me, we could have worked out something through this."

"Harry, you know I love you," Louis says, voice weak. 

"I'm leaving," Harry says, "I'll come back for some of my stuff another time," he mumbles, looking defeated and tired. 

Louis wants to stop him but that's the point, isn't it? Harry is meant to leave. 

Harry picks up his keys, only glancing at Louis once before walking out of the flat. Louis drops his face into his hands, biting his lip to hold back a sob because he doesn't fucking know what the hell he just did. 

"Hey," Zayn says. 

Louis spins around. "Zayn," he says, wiping at his eyes, "I thought you weren't at home."

"I took the day off because I'm feeling ill," he explains, scanning Louis' face, "are you okay?" 

"Depends on how much you heard," Louis laughs humourlessly. 

"Most of it," he mumbles, walking off the podium until he's standing in front of Louis, "do you want to talk about it?" 

Louis shakes his head. "I think I'm gonna head into my room, actually. Do you... Need anything?" he asks. 

Zayn's eyes turn softer somehow, like the wall he'd been holding up has come down suddenly, or at the very least become transparent. "I'm okay."

"Okay, I--" Louis clears his throat. "I'm gonna head to bed." 

"Louis," he says, just as Louis makes a turn to his bedroom. Louis looks at him. "Did you just break up with him?" 

The words are hard to hear out loud. He did that. He just fucking ended things with Harry. He nods shortly, tears welling up in his eyes. 

"Why?" 

"It's what's best for everyone, I think," Louis says quietly. 

Zayn doesn't say anything else so Louis walks up the podium and into his room, shutting the door behind himself. 

He lets himself cry properly once he's on his bed and his face is pressed into the pillow that vaguely smells like Harry's shampoo. God, this fucking sucks so much. 

___

Louis is miserable. He's wallowing, but he doesn't care. Zayn talks to him which is a good thing, but there's this weird pity in his eyes that Louis doesn't like. 

Niall and Liam also speak to him now and, yeah, it really is sad that it took ,his sister almost dying for them to do that but again, he isn't complaining. He's just sad about it. 

They seem surprised that he ended things with Harry; though apparently Liam already knew, because Harry was pretty torn up about it. Hell, Louis is too. It's weird though, because they don't really mention it. Maybe because it's still awkward talking about it like nothing really happened between all of them. They really need to sort through that. 

It's a week later that Harry comes to the flat. Louis answers the door and his heart leaps into his throat. Harry's eyes have purple bags underneath them, an indication he hasn't slept in a while. 

"I left something important here for my school," he explains, "I need it so I came to get it."

Louis nods, letting him in without a word. Harry goes to their side table and picks up a USB, putting it into his pocket. 

"I'm sorry," Louis says before Harry can turn around and leave without saying anything else. 

Harry looks at him, visibly swallowing. "Yeah, I'm sorry too. We could have been something really special," he says with a sad, wobbly smile. 

Louis nods, looking down. He doesn't know what to say. Then he hears the door open and shut again. 

When he hears a clank on the table, it startles him. "Zayn?" 

Zayn is sitting at the table, bowl of cereal in front of him. Louis wishes he'd stop coming in after he and Harry have gone through something. 

"Hey," Zayn greets him, "wanna sit?"

Louis sniffs, defeat and sadness taking over as he sits adjacent to Zayn. They sit in silence, Louis too afraid to ask if he heard everything again, and truthfully not in the mood, until Zayn himself breaks the silence. 

"Why do you keep making mistakes?" Zayn asks out of nowhere.

"I-- what?" he asks, perplexed.

"You're letting him go. You're making a mistake and you know that. Why are doing it again? Why are you doing  _ that _ again? " he elaborates.

"I'm trying to do what's right," Louis explains, "I'm trying to make things right."

"And you think letting go of him is the way to do that?"

Louis swallows. "Maybe? If it means we could sort things out then maybe… Maybe somehow, yes."

"You're a selfish prick you know that?" Zayn asks but there's no heat behind the words, more of a general statement.

"I know," he says quietly.

"You know he means a lot to you. And I-- I can tell you love him. And that he loves you. Don't be stupid about this shit again," Zayn says, scolding him almost. 

"But you... I thought that you--"

"I know what I said and I'm-- I'm still mad. Trust me, I am. But I can also see that you two are probably more suited for each other than he and I ever were. I think I saw that a while ago, actually..."

"Zayn, if I do this now, I am hurting you intentionally," Louis ignores the growing lump in his throat, "I'm making the wrong choice all over again and I don't want to do that when we're finally getting to a point where we're okay again."

Zayn sighs. "You really think loving him was the wrong choice then?" 

Louis purses his lips. He'd never think that… Even though he'd just implied it. 

"You said he's the love of your life?" Zayn asks, looking at him intently.

Louis nods hesitantly.

"Who in their right mind loses the love of their lives intentionally then?"

Louis feels like air has been knocked out of his lungs. "Zayn..." he shakes his head, unsure of what to say.

"No, Louis. You said you risked it all because you knew he was someone special, and now you just let that go? You did all of that shit for nothing then, if this whole time you could have broken up with him?" 

Louis blinks. He's right. He made such a big speech to Zayn, Niall and Liam about how much Harry means to him, only to end it all anyways? He made promises to Harry for God's sake. 

"You should go after him," he says, "he doesn't walk that fast. I bet you could still catch him."

Louis feels his heart beating faster. "What?" 

What Zayn is saying paired with the realization that he keeps fucking up everything is a bit much to handle all at once. 

"This doesn't mean I forgive you," Zayn says quickly, "but I'm not going to stand in the way of two people who are clearly meant for each other, no matter how much I'm still mad about it."

Louis dwells on his words, letting them play over and over again in his mind.

"Are you--" he stops, unable to finish his sentence, because his thoughts also end there.

"I'm saying," he lets out a sigh, giving Louis the smallest of smiles, "I'm saying you're an idiot and you should probably go get your boy."

Louis feels himself smiling slowly. "Are you serious?"

"Go before I change my mind," he mumbles, the small smile still on his face.

Louis nods. He wipes his tears and gets off the chair, feeling a little frantic. "He's so mad at me," he says, more to himself.

"Then you better hurry," Zayn comments.

Louis nods again, walking to the front door, hand on the knob. Before turning it, he looks at Zayn again who's already looking at him. "Thank you," he says softly.

Zayn gives him a small nod and then Louis is out of the flat, hurrying down the stairs. He maneuvers his way through the sea of people, trying to find Harry. Luckily, Harry is tall enough and has distinct curlies on the back of his head to notice him.

And he is walking slowly, shoulders hunched, head hung low. God Louis hates himself for doing what he did. He just thought it would be the right thing to do. He gave himself an ultimatum and you don't do that for the people you love. You can't.

Louis practically sprints until he's caught up to Harry, landing right in front of him, effectively stopping Harry's walking. Harry blinks, stepping back, surprised. He looks at Louis, eyebrows pinched together.

"What are you doing here?" he asks.

"I love you," Louis says, sputtering the words, already crying again, "I love you more than anything in the entire world."

"Why are you saying these things?" Harry sniffs, nose red and eyes red-rimmed. "You ended things."

"I know I did, but I-- I did it because I thought I had to. I do love you, and I'm so sorry I hurt you," he reaches out to grab one of Harry's hands hesitantly. "I'm sorry I broke the promises I made to you in hopes of fixing things with Zayn. It wasn't fair of me to do."

Harry doesn't pull his hand away. "What are you doing?" he asks, looking confused.

"I'm telling you that you are the love of my life and Zayn called me an idiot for letting you go," he smiles a bit, "and he's right."

"Zayn said that?" he asks, surprised.

Louis nods, wiping his cheeks. "He did. He didn't forgive me but I'm-- I'm okay with that, because he made me realize I'd be making a mistake by letting you go. I love you."

"Louis," he shakes his head, "I'm tired of doing this back and forth thing with you," he says, tears welled up in his eyes again, "has your mind changed that easily in the span of minutes?" he laughs.

Louis shakes his head. "No, I-- I was doing it for Zayn because he's my family, but... But so are you," he swallows, "you're my home and who the fuck willingly gives up their home, their soul mate, the love of their life?"

Harry's tears fall and Louis continues. "I'm sorry I keep doing this. I'm sorry I broke our promises. But please give me another chance to fix this. You can be mad at me and you can even kick me in the balls if you want to," he smiles, "but I'm making sure I make at least one of our promises right and not giving up on you -- on us. I know I did, but I'm here now and I'm trying again."

Harry sniffles. "Do I really get to kick you in the balls?" he asks.

Louis laughs. "If you want to, yeah. You can yell at me and be mad at me, but anything is better than nothing with you," he confesses softly, "I'm sorry I was such an idiot. Zayn was right. I'm so sorry I hurt you like that, bub."

"Bub?" Harry laughs wetly.

"Yeah, spur of the moment," he scrunches his nose.

Harry looks down briefly before meeting his eyes again. "I love you too. I never wanted us to end. All I ever wanted was for us to fight for this, no matter how complicated and messy it gets and maybe it was selfish of me to think that. I just always thought we're special too, you know?"

"We are," he says earnestly.

"Louis, I'm not going to do this again with you if, by next week, you're just going to break my heart again. I can't bear it."

Louis' heart aches at his words. "I know. I know, and I'm so sorry. But I'm in it forever. I promise you. I'll-- I'll marry you right now if I have to prove it to you, because I love you and nothing is going to change that, no matter how stupid I can be sometimes."

Harry smiles again. "You can be stupid sometimes."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you either," Louis says, pulling him a little closer, "you've been so good to me and this hasn't been easy for you either."

"It hasn't been. I know you're also going through a lot, especially with your sister... I'm sorry if I pushed you."

"You didn't. God, I've been such a mess of emotions and I've been dragging you along this chaotic rollercoaster," he laughs, "I'm done doing that. You're the only thing I can see clearly through all of this shit. I fucked up so much. I still have so much to sort out with Zayn, but I'd be an idiot to lose you in the midst of it too."

Harry looks at him intently. "So now what? I don't want to be dragged into this and blamed. I know I fucked up too, but it felt shit to feel like… Someone who just sleeps with anyone," Harry sniffs, "I didn't mean to be the guy who comes between two best friends, you know? I didn't mean to fall in love with you." 

"I know what you mean. I didn't-- I didn't mean to be the guy who sleeps with his best friend's ex, but you're so much more to me. I fell in love with my best friend, with you; you became my best friend too, more than just Zayn's ex. You weren't just Harry, Zayn's ex, you were Harry, my best friend and that's who I fell for." Louis pauses. "Um, did that make any sense?" He asks, frowning. 

Harry lets out a short laugh. "It made sense," he says, cheeks red. 

"What do you say, babe? Please give me another chance?" 

"I don't wanna keep getting hurt," Harry repeats.

"I guess promises don't mean much right now," he mumbles. 

"Well, I guess it still does? You're just taking a while to get there."

Louis laughs. "Don't make excuses for me, love," he says softly, "I want you forever."

"Forever doesn't mean changing your mind every minute," Harry says, tears in his eyes, "do you still need space and time away from me?" 

Louis shakes his head. "I was being dumb. I needed you the whole time. I just-- I don't know. Maybe part of me felt like I needed to punish myself."

Harry nods, wiping a tear away with his other hand. "I get that..." 

"I can't... Promise you that everything will be okay in the future, but I promise that I'll love you, as much as I do already, for as long as you have me. Maybe even more, although I'm not sure that's possible."

"Dont be stupid again, please?" he asks, tone vulnerable. 

"I probably will be, but never like that again," Louis says sincerely, "I wanna be with you too. I wanna get married to you, have kids with you, adopt a dog or two, settle in the suburbs maybe, drive a minivan. I want all of it with you, baby."

"Don't call me baby. I'm still mad," Harry says weakly but he's still holding Louis' hand. 

"Get out of the way, jackasses!" a random man yells, walking past them. 

Louis frowns. He opens his mouth to reply back, but Harry places two fingers over his lips to stop him. "We should probably go into the pub or something."

"Yeah, okay," Louis agrees, holding his hand tightly. Harry smiles, leading the way back towards their flat's building and past it into the pub. 

"I think I should talk to Zayn alone too," Harry says as soon as they sit down. "What do you think?" 

"Yeah, might be a good idea," Louis agrees. Because he's not ready to let Harry go, he reaches over the table and grabs both of his hands this time. "What do you wanna do from here?" 

"I told you what I wanted from the beginning, Lou. Nothing has changed from then," Harry says, eyebrows pinched together, "it's you that I should be asking that question to."

"Right, well I told you I want you forever," he smiles. 

"Yeah and then give it a week and things will change?" he asks, frowning. 

"That never changed... I just felt like it was the right thing to do," Louis tries to explain.

"And now what do you feel like the right thing to do is?" Harry asks quietly. 

"Be with you, love you, sort this out together, rather than apart. Talk to Zayn together like we were supposed to, too," Louis says. 

"You gonna ignore me again?" 

Louis smiles sadly. "I love you. I'm sorry I did all of that. I was just feeling so much and didn't know how to deal with everything."

"I know," Harry falls silent. 

"We've done this whole thing a little haywire haven't we?" Louis sighs. "Tell me what you want to do from here, love. I love you and want to be with you, whatever it takes, okay?" 

Harry nods shortly. "Let's just take it slow? Like you said, we've done this whole thing a little haywire. We started out sleeping together and dated, but not properly, and now we broke up because we did it wrong. I don't want to do it incorrectly again. We can take things slow. I think that might be better while we both sort things out with Zayn and the rest of the gang," he smiles a bit, "I need to know you're in this for sure, so maybe we just need to do this one step at a time."

"Okay," he lets out a breath, "I like that, I think. We can do this right, go on a proper date when we can, and whenever you want to." 

"Are you asking me out?" Harry asks with a lop-sided smile. 

"Yes, but I'll do it properly eventually. When we're ready, yeah? When you're ready." 

"Okay," Harry grins, "if you put me through that bloody rollercoaster again I'll kick you in the balls."

"Deal," he laughs, "I'm sorry."

"I know," he says, rubbing his thumbs over the skin on Louis' hand. 

"We'll be okay," he says and for the first time since he's said, he feels like he believes it, right down in his gut, in his heart. No matter what, he'll make sure that they'll make it this time. 

No more mistakes. Not intentionally. Not when it comes to Harry. 

______

Louis' leg bounces nervously under the table. He peels the label of the beer with his nails. 

"What are you so nervous about?" Niall asks. 

"I don't know," he sighs, "I just-- I don't know. I want us all to be okay again and I know it's going to take some time for Zayn to get to terms with everything. I mean, he's said he's outgrown me as a friend, you know? And I know he hasn't, really, but what is he saying to Harry?" 

"Louis, he can handle it. And Zayn said that because he was upset. Something like this will take time, you know that it was hard for him to commit to someone before Harry. Harry changed that for him so he was -- and still is -- a big part of his life. That's why he said whatever he said. I think it's going to be weird for all of us for some time. It's only been a month since we all found out, Louis."

"I know," Louis wipes his hand over his face, "I just don't want him to get hurt more than he already has-- both of them. I don't want to keep hurting the people I love."

"Louis," he gives him a pointed look, "you're going to hurt the people you love. What matters is that you try to make it right, and you're doing that. I'm sorry for how I reacted at first but I-- I can see it, you know? How much you love him."

Louis smiles a bit. "I do."

"And you were dumb enough to end it even though you were fighting for him in the first place," he deadpans. 

Louis winces. "Yeah not my finest -- nor smartest -- moment, was it?" 

"What's the status though? With you and Harry?" 

"We spoke only a week ago and he said we should take this slow because it started... All haywire, you know? I'm okay with that. I think things need to simmer down with, like, you guys and Zayn first before we're introduced as a proper couple."

"But you already kind of are, right? You love each other and all that?" 

Louis nods. "Yeah, but we'll keep it to ourselves a little bit longer, just not hide it per se."

"Did you tell Zayn that? That you guys are together and just going slow?" 

Louis nods. "I made a promise to myself and to Harry that there's not gonna be any more secrets, no more mistakes. Not intentional. So I told him the truth. He was... Kind of monotonous about it? He didn't say anything, but didn't react either."

Niall nods. "Well, that's something, I guess?"

Louis nods. "Yeah, I just-- I don't know. I'm still nervous for some reason. I think it's more just... Not knowing what's happening that's making me antsy."

"I get it. Everything will be okay, though, okay? I guess we also were kind of overreacting in the grander scheme of things. It makes sense that you two fit together the way you do."

"Zayn said the same thing," Louis huffs, "I guess he's accepting it in a way, but he's not exactly happy about it." 

"Yeah. And like I said, for him it's gonna take some time."

Louis nods, taking a sip of his beer. He's glad Zayn is even trying in the first place. 

____

"He's okay," Harry says, "he's still not entirely okay or happy about it, but he told me that he'll come around eventually."

Louis sighs. He's been hearing the same thing for a week now, but he can't seem to comprehend it. 

"Go talk to him properly, hug him-- do what you need to," Harry says, rubbing his thumb over Louis' cheek. 

"Yeah," he nods, "been hiding here for long enough, I think."

"Yeah. As much as I love having you here with me, you have to go back to your place," Harry says sternly, "no avoiding things. Plus if you stay here any longer we're bound to have sex."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Louis scoffs, holding his waist and kissing his nose. 

Harry wipes his nose. Louis grins. "We agreed to take it slow, remember? We need to at least go out on a date first." 

"I know, I know," Louis leans forward and kisses him softly, "I love you."

"Love you too," Harry grins, "go home."

"Okay, bye," Louis pecks him one last time before pulling away. 

"Text me," Harry says just before Louis walks out. Louis blows him a kiss. 

_____

Zayn is at home when Louis gets there. He has a controller in his hand, body leaning forward. Ah. Fifa then. 

"Hey," Louis greets him. 

"Hey," Zayn says, "you coming home or going back to Harry's?" 

"Home," he wrinkles his nose, "sorry, I just didn't know if you wanted me here all the time. But I guess I should have asked you first. Just, kinda nervous about everything."

"I know," Zayn says, putting the controller aside, "do you wanna sit?" 

"Sure," Louis sits next to him, "you all right? I know you told Harry you liked having a bit of time to yourself to think about things too, so I just let you be, I guess."

"I kind of needed some time alone, I think," Zayn says, twiddling his thumbs, "so Harry told you everything we spoke about?" 

"Um, not everything? Just summarized that you're not exactly happy about us or okay, but that you'll get there eventually and Zayn-- thank you. I know I probably don't deserve it, but I really appreciate it."

Zayn looks at him. "Do you remember what you told me when I said I feel a lot for Harry?" 

Louis swallows. "Uh, vaguely?" 

"You said that boy will do anything for you," Zayn says, "and you know, Harry would do anything for you."

"Yeah, I know," Louis smiles. 

"And you know what else?" Zayn sighs, sitting back. 

Louis shakes his head. 

"You helped me think of something to get for him that day, remember? And for his birthday, you were the one who got his gift because you were so sure he would like it," he says, pursing his lips. 

"I remember," Louis says, eyebrows knitted together. 

"And he got you a bloody Iron Man helmet for yours," Zayn laughs. 

"I know..." Louis tilts his head curiously, "Um, is there a reason you're bringing it up?" 

Zayn sighs. He gazes at Louis. "I think you two have always been more made for each other than he and I ever were. I told you as much already. I think it might have been inevitable about you two--" he smiles but it's not particularly sad, "--getting together and all that. It's still weird because I did, you know, feel a lot with him, but we were not meant to be. Seems like you two are though," he ends softly. 

Louis exhales. "I'm really sorry about the way we handled it and what happened, for the record. I don't expect anything from you, I hope you know. I'd like it if we could be friends though. And not stay in this weird limbo."

"I think I'd like that too," Zayn says eventually, "but give me some time."

"Okay, whatever you need. Thank you. So much, Z," Louis says sincerely, "I really don't wanna lose you even if my actions weren't the best portrayal of it." 

"I know," Zayn says, "you were always there for me though. Always. I know that."

"I still am and always will be," Louis promises, "if you want me to." 

Zayn gives him a small smile. "Ride or die right?" he asks. 

Louis laughs. Raising his fist. "Ride or die, always."

"Put that fist away and give me a hug," Zayn says, pushing Louis' hand away. Before Louis can even reply, Zayn leans forward and hugs him. 

Louis actually cries. He tightens his arm around Zayn's waist and feels his chest release a huge weight that was laying on top of it. "I really don't deserve you, you know?" 

Zayn pulls away. "You don't," he teases with a smile. Louis laughs. 

"Hey, can I ask you a favour though?" 

"Anything," Louis says instantly. 

"Can you dial back on any PDA for now? It's still... A little weird." 

"Yeah, of course," Louis agrees easily. They'd planned on doing so anyways. 

"Thanks."

"No, thank  _ you _ , really. I know this is weird, but thanks for, you know, being you."

Zayn smiles at him. "Yeah, you owe me big time."

Louis snorts. "Deal," he shakes his hand. 

____

  
  


"Harry, would you stop moving so much?" Louis huffs. 

"Would you park already?" Harry snaps back. 

Louis rolls his eyes. 

"Park at the back but not too far back," Harry instructs. 

Louis raises an eyebrow at him. "Why?" 

"Louis, please," Harry huffs in frustration, wriggling on his seat, whimpering a bit. 

"Okay," Louis sighs, parking next to a car, towards the back of the lot but not completely. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asks, unbuckling his seat belt. 

He's taken by surprise when Harry pulls off his trousers and underwear in one go, hand going to grab his cock, half hard already. 

Louis chokes on nothing. "H--uh--"

Harry moans then shifts until he bends himself, still whimpering until he's straddling Louis. He reaches beside Louis to pull the seat down, Louis letting out a soft, 'oof'. 

"I don't know what this is, but I'm not complaining," Louis smiles, cock throbbing in his trousers.

"Feel behind me," Harry instructs, guiding Louis' hand to his bum. Louis gasps, lifting his head a little. 

"You're-- is that a butt plug?" Louis asks, searching his eyes that are already glazed over. 

Harry nods, steadying himself on Louis' lap but placing his hands on his shoulders. Louis holds onto the end of the plug, pulling at it slightly. 

Harry shivers. Actually shivers. Louis watches in fascination as his face twists, and mouth utter moans as Louis plays around with it. 

"You can fuck me," Harry breathes out, "I want you to fuck me here."

Oh. His kink for exhibitionism. They aren't strangers to that -- from the movies, urinals to the library -- it's always exhilarating. 

"Lube?" Louis asks, grinding up.

"Behind me. Hold on," Harry moves away from his hand and turns a bit to grab the lube from his glove compartment. 

Before Louis can even do anything, Harry is unzipping his trousers and pulling out his cock from his underwear.

"Shit," he curses as Harry slicks him up. "Turn around, love. Wanna see it."

Harry nods, turning around and leaning onto the dashboard as Louis plays with the purple jeweled butt plug. "Please fuck me," Harry huffs. 

Louis chuckles, pulling out the plug and watching Harry's hole flutter around nothing. He pulls on his cock, guiding it to his hole, pushing in slowly.

"You okay?" Louis asks, rubbing his hip. He hasn't had any prep from Louis but he already looked opened. 

Harry nods, holding onto Louis' hand on his hip as he starts to bounce slowly. "Shit," Harry moans, grip tightening on Louis' hand. 

Louis thrusts up to meet his bounces, and then Harry stops completely, letting Louis take over. Louis grips both of his hips, pistoning upwards, watching his cock disappearing into Harry. 

"You were practically dying for this, weren't you? Shit," Louis groans, meeting his prostate. 

He watches in awe as the windows in the car start to fog up. 

"Louis," Harry calls out. Louis immediately stops, his grip on Harry's hips softening. He rubs his love handles. 

"Are you okay, baby?" 

Harry nods, reaching behind him to pull Louis' cock out of him. Louis moans, his cock throbbing. "Wanna face you," Harry explains, rearranging himself until his face is closer to Louis', again reaching behind himself to put Louis back into him. 

Harry's mouth hangs open. "You're so beautiful like this," Louis says, thrusting up into him, their bodies sweating and hot against each other. 

"I love you," Harry says, their lips meeting haphazardly. "You're beautiful too." 

Louis smiles against his lips, pulling Harry's bum, teasing him. Harry moans into his mouth. 

"I'm close," Harry warns, reaching for his cock between them and pulling himself off. 

"Me too. Want me to come -- shit -- inside of you?" 

Harry clenches around him and nods. 

Louis holds onto him, tight against his cock deep inside of him as he releases. Harry finishes too, his come splattering onto their stomachs and chests.

They both moan loudly because they've never really been quiet in bed -- or car, in this case. 

Harry collapses onto his chest. Louis slowly pulls out, lips and throat dry, panting. "That was so fucking hot," he breathes out. 

Harry raises his head to look at Louis, smiling lazily. "I know." 

Louis laughs breathily. "I love you," he kisses his forehead. 

"Love you too," Harry smiles against his skin. 

They eventually separate, wiping themselves with wet wipes from the glove compartment. Harry runs his fingers through his hair. "Think we look like we fucked?" 

Louis looks at his glazed over eyes and pink cheeks. He swallows. "Um, no. Do I?" 

Harry shakes his head. "Just sweaty," he smirks. 

Louis laughs, shaking his head. "Come on, let's go. We're already late."

Harry pouts but nods, following Louis out of the car. They hold hands, Harry yawning next to him and they head down the lift. 

"Always," Louis shakes his head fondly. 

"Hey, where did you put my plug?" Harry asks as they walk down the corridor to Niall's place. 

"Threw it somewhere in the car," he shrugs.

"Ugh, gross," he grimaces.

"You've my tongue in your arse and the other way around, love," he says flatly. 

"Whatever," Harry grimaces. He knocks on the door, greeting Niall, Zayn behind him, drinking something from a cup. 

"Hey! Congrats on your engagement, Ni!" Louis says, opening his arms out to hug him. 

Niall's face falls. "You two fucked didn't you?" 

Zayn chokes on his drink behind Niall, giggling into his sleeve. Harry yelps. "Sorry," he says. 

Louis gives an apologetic smile. "Uh, yeah sorry."

Niall rolls his eyes. "Come on, get inside," he opens the door, "as long as you two didn't fuck in the lift..."

Harry's eyes brighten. Louis' widen a bit. 

"Ugh, you two are so gross," Zayn comments, walking past them. 

Louis smiles at Harry, kissing his cheek.

"A good kind of gross, right?" Harry asks, walking to Zayn and hugging him. 

"God, you do smell sweaty," He says as Louis hugs him. 

"Sorry," he says sheepishly. 

"Whatever," Zayn mumbles. 

And then --  _ then _ \-- Liam walks over to Zayn and kisses him. On the lips. 

Harry and Louis look at each other, eyes widening. 

"Um, hello? What's this now?" Louis asks, practically squeaking. 

"Oh, yeah, Liam and I are a thing," Zayn says nonchalantly. 

Harry makes an affronted noise. "And you didn't tell us?" 

"What, are you the only two who can fuck behind their friend's backs?" Liam asks cheekily.

Louis lets out a surprised laugh. "Fair enough. So you're dating then?" 

"Yeah, new but also, feels like it's been a long time coming," Zayn says, kissing Liam's cheek. Louis watches in awe.

"I know what you mean," Louis says softly, giving him a meaningful smile. 

Zayn looks at him, smiles slowly. "Think I get now," he says quietly. 

Louis grins back. "Happy for you two then," Louis says. 

"Happy for you two as well," Zayn says, a warm smile on his face. 

"Are you guys forgetting that this is my engagement party?" Niall huffs. 

They laugh. "You're right, happy engagement party to you and Lily. So happy for you two as well," Liam says, raising a cup to them. 

The rest of the night is happy and still a little shocking because of Liam and Zayn. Louis really is happy for them though. They really look good together, and it seems like they're even worse with the PDA than Harry and Louis are. 

"Think that'll be us one day soon?" Harry asks, looking at Lily feeding Niall cake, the ring on her finger shimmering. 

"Depends on when you ask, darling," Louis teases. 

Harry grins, kissing him softly. "Patience is a virtue, love."

"Virtue went out the door when I fucked you in that car, babe."

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! 
> 
> Tumblr: halosboat


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